My mom and her new bf want a new baby....?

Question

Not trying to sound like a hysterical teenage girl but I'm kinda freaking out.... My mom has only been dating Brian for about 2 months.... She swore, after my dad, that she would never be married again... I like Brian because he makes her happy and he treats my brother(8) and sister(6) very well.... My mom has three kids already and Brian has one.... but his son's mom took of with him when he was 11 and they haven't seen each other in about 6 years....

But anyway, my mom told me yesterday that she and Brian want another child... her tubes are tied so it won't just happen on it's own... They would have to go to the doctor or adopt... and I'm not against either but he thinks he knows my mom but he doesn't... I'm afraid that he would leave and leave her a single parent again... I can't tell her that... it would crush her...

How do I tell her that I don't think it's a good idea without hurting her?

Not really sure which category this should be in.

Answer 1

i think you are sounding mature,  and two months is too soon to know someone well,  and make such a big commitment,

tell exactly how you are explaining us. Say that you like him and are happy fpr her that she found someone special, and respect her life choices, but that now is too soon for that decision.  And that you are telling her because you love her, and wouldn't want to see her hurt.  Your mom sound like she is at least 38 years, how old is she? see this is something to be considered too, because if she is around 40 she should have the baby as soon as possible.  

I hope my answer helps a bit.  

: )

you sound like a good person.  

how old are you?

Answer 2

I would tell your mom you think it would be best to wait a little while longer before they decide to have a baby. Tell her to make sure she's going to stick around for a while, and she should get to know him a little more before they take that big of a step.

That way, it'll be up to her, and you won't hurt her, but you'll make her think about it.

Good luck!

Answer 3

you talk to her alone in a private room. Keep Brian out of this. Tell her what you feel. Say that you are afraid of what the future will be. She will still love you. So yeah, say what you want to say. It's okay.

Answer 4

I understand you're thinking that he would leave her a single parent again, especially if they haven't been dating very long. Then again, some people date for a very short amount of time, and everything turns out fine. Maybe you could tell her that you think she should wait a while. However, she could very possibly be upset with you for bringing it up at all, so just be subtle about it.

Answer 5

Hmmm...what a complicated little problem here. Can you ask her to stick it out a couple more months. Like eight more. This will put Brian and your mother's relationship at a year and you guys would have the time to get to know Brian.

What you are really doing is stalling the matter. Seems your mother equates love with children and thinks a man will love her and stay with her if she has his child. This is something that is seen alot.

Stall her and never show your disappointment.

Good Luck.

Answer 6

dont tell her how you feel when you two are arguing...

pull her aside (if possible) and talk to her alone, talk to her calmly and tell her how concerned you are and how you dont want to see her hurt again. Tell her that you would feel much more confortable if Brian would be willing to give her a committment first. Sounds to me like Brian is trying to re-create the family that he lost.

Your mom sounds like she is jumping the gun because she wants what she feels she is missing.. the complete family (with dad included). All this is very emotional and them only knowing each other such a short period of time can be really dangerous.. they are in the honeymoon stage of a relationship where everything seems perfect.

My advice is to be forthcoming and honest with her. Tell her while you two are alone, or tell her u really need to talk to her alone and maybe she will take you on a car ride.. but like I stated above dont bring this up when you two are arguing.. it wont work and it will only make her defensive.

you sound really mature and concerned... you are a smart kid to see this as being a potential nightmare.

Good luck

Answer 7

im no expert but if you dont want to hurt her feelings maybe say "mom dont you think you should give it a little more time? until you reeeally know eachother?" or just tell her how you feel. the truth always comes out some how so i thinks its best to tell her even if it hurts. im sure she'll understnad that youre just trying to help and she wont be mad. its better to get out how you feel than to keep it all inside.

Answer 8

You need to tell her of your concerns. Ultimately it is up to her and her bf but she needs to know what you are thinking.

Answer 9

I'm sure you can talk to her about your feelings without hurting her. She's a grown woman and probably knows you don't feel right about it already. Don't expect her to change her mind though! Just let her know how you feel.

Answer 10

How about suggesting that maybe 2 months is not very long and anything could happen yet??

I think you should try talking to another adult about it first. Your mum might listen better coming from another adult too.

You might have to just trust her and stick by her no matter what happens.