My mom died about 2 wks ago?

Question

She was in ICU on life support and they took her off and she made a full recovery. From the hospital they put her in a nursing home. We were not going to let her stay in one. I got a quote for a Vanderlift (full body lift) from a local merchandiser- he gave me a discount because he was going to sell me his demo 3k. We were getting this becasue my mom was no longer weight bearing and my dad (bless his heart) was going to take care of her at home and take her to dyalysis. Friday evening me my mom and dad had the best time talking and laughing then we said we had to go because the nursing home visiting hours were over. My mom was blind (d**n lasiks surgery at UVA) and when I said bye to her she pointed her head in the direction of my voice and said "bye-bye" in a way only an endearing mother can. That was the last time I saw my mom alive, she was in dyalysis the next day and mucus got into her lungs and she died on Saturday. I was in the parking lot about to go into the nursing home on Saturday when I checked my phone message before I went in and found out there was no use in getting out of the car to go see her.

Had I known- I would have kissed and hugged my mom that last time, my heart is breaking again as i write this.

Were you able to hug and kiss your loved one before they passed????

Answer 1

no when my uncle had passed away i didnt see him for 2 weeks maybe three but the worst part was when one of his friends came over and told us that he had taken his life the previous night cause he got into a fight with his wife that was the worst news i have ever got it has almost been 3 years and i miss him terribly and the last thing i did was tease  him.

Answer 2

I'm sorry for your loss.  And that you couldn't say goodbye.

The loved ones in my life who have died I've never been able to say it to, either.  

  

Answer 3

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. I'm sure you hate hearing this... I know I did, but it's true, I really feel for you.

When my mom died, I hadn't seen her for about three days. She had a problem with pills... and it made her kinda loopy. She went to visit my dad the day before she died, and he wouldn't let her drive home because he thought she wouldn't be safe. The next day she left to come home, and later he came to pick me up. She still wasn't home when he got to my house, and either she called us or we called her... I forget.

She asked for us to wait for her, but daddy was impatient, and I was only able to make him wait for a few minutes. When she eventually got home and saw w e were gone, she called my dad's cell phone and she was angry, and then she yelled at me on the phone. I think I hung up on her.... and that was the last I ever heard from her.

I understand what it is like to lose a mother, and no matter how much it hurts, I promise you it will get easier. Try and be happy though, because you got to see your shortly before she passed away, and also because the last memory you had with her was a happy one...  

Answer 4

You have my deepest sympathy for the loss of you Mom. Remember that your Mom knew you loved her and from what you have said you showed it in many ways.

My Mom died last year. I understand what you are going through.  

Answer 5

Aww, sweetie, I'm so sorry for your loss, I know you must be sick of hearing this, but I truly am. I can't imagine what it must be like to lose a mother.

I'm almost certain that your Mum knew that you loved her, and still do. A kiss and a hug, although they are nice, don't really mean anything. They're just gestures. All the hugs and kisses you gave her in her lifetime will be with both of you for eternity, as will the times when you physically told her or showed your love for her.

Please don't feel guilty about not saying goodbye. You now have to move on, as hard as it seems, and think about the good times you had together. You will never forget your Mum, but there's nothing to gain from dwelling on the sad points. Enjoy your memories now, for they will last a lifetime.

To answer your question, though, I lost a great grandma without being able to hug her or even see her one last time, as she was deteriorating too quickly and my Mum didn't want me to get upset as a child.

God Bless you

Answer 6

I'm truly sorry to hear about your mom. Usually people you see online won't care, but the way you write details of your story enlightens my heart so much I am very much obliged to answer your question.

To tell you the truth, every single death of a loved one that passed in all of my 14 years of living are all unexpected. Sudden heart attack, old age - sometimes you just don't know when they're gonna be gone. I hope your heart won't ache so much if we give you answers!

Answer 7

I have not dealt with this part of life yet, but I am a nurse and have witnessed people die, by choice of refusing CPR.

Your mom knew you loved her.  She knew how much she meant to you and the rest of her close ones.  She knew how much you had done for her as she had done for you.   And from your words even if you werent there she said goodbye in her heart where you always are.

God bless.  Live the happy loving joyful life that your mom always wanted for you.  I think that is important.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8pmdsxJl...

Answer 8

i know exactly how u feel unfortunately no i didn't my grandpa passed away about 2 years ago and he was also on dialysis but he had a lot of other problems as well after he passed they found out he had cancer stupid doctors don't catch anything till after its too late. he was only in his 60s i miss him a lot but i couldn't bare to see him in the hospital i didn't see him for 2 weeks and i had a feeling that day that he passed that he was going to die so i stayed home a few minutes later my aunt calls n says shes leaving all my cousins with me. its hard I'm sry for your loss but just remember shes in a better place now as well as my grandpa (may they rest in peace)