Question:

My mom doesn't like my boyfriend because he wanted me to have an abortion!!!?

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I am 19 years old and my boyfriend is 29 - we have been dating for 8 months now and everything is going fine. A couple of months ago we fiund out that I was pregnant and we were both happy...well in shock. My boyfriend sat me down and asked me to have an abortion because we were not financially ready and he would rather wait until we have our own place. So he asked me to go through with and we would try agian a year later. I told him no an we went on this back and fourth for about three weeks. Eventually after not talking for about a week he gathered his thoughts and came to me and told me that he was being selfish and that that was not the way to go - he thanked me for holding onto my decision. Unfortunately at 11 weeks I miscarried and he was hurt the most (understandable). Needing someone to talk to I had told my mom about his plans to have an abortion and she was upset. Being mad at him I had told my mom of how I was going to do everything by myself boasted about how he was less of man and how I was going to leave him - alone(knowing that deep inside I loved him and that this was all rage, anger, and resentment talking) Now almost three months later she doesn't see why I am still with him after all the stuff I said and questions wht happened to the other dudes that she felt were so perfect for me because of their achievements, when not knowing that they their only intention was s*x.

I need to know how to tell my mom that in life everyone makes mistakes and in a relationship you have to sometimes take the good with the bad...but its hard because she is so stuck on the way that my dad mentally, physically, and emotionally abued her that I sometimes feel that she looks beyond my boyfriend and thinks of my dad. Someone please help me to express how I'm feeling to her:...(

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4 ANSWERS


  1. You should explain how he changed his mind, and then was hurt when you lost your baby.  Tell her how supportive he has been.


  2. well as a mother and grandmother i can tell you that the way your mother feels is perfectly natural...

    she went through a very stressful time with you when you and your bf were fighting about the pregnancy..she formed an opinion on him because that was her grandchild you were carrying and he was wanting to end its life..

    also she sees that since you guys were fighting about it and you miscarried she sees that the stress couldve contributed to it..

    its gonna take her some time to learn to like this guy again...just give her some space..

    sit and talk to her and let her tell her opinions also..

    good luck


  3. Did you tell your mom that he apologized and was glad that I had stood up and said no the the abortion?  Did you tell her how hurt he was when you miscarried?  If you have not told her these things, and she might change he mind about him.

    Just print the question you wrote to us and hand it to her.  We all make mistakes but he came through and admitted he was wrong.  

    Tell her you love him, he admitted he was wrong and was very disappointed when I miscarried.

    She may not come around still since she had such a bad experience wth your father.  

    You are 19 and old enough thereforre can make your own decisins.  I know you want your moms blessings  and I think she will come around but it misht take her a while so be patient.

    Belssings                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

  4. Have a heart to heart with her and tell her how you feel.

    BUT you've got to understand that as your mother, she is looking out for you.

    And why does a 29 year old man not have a place of his own? And why is he dating a 19 year old? Things that make you go hmm...

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