My mom doesn't understand I need space?

Question

I had friends over tonight and she wouldn't stop coming out and asking us if we need stuff. Like, she'd get the towels and food and then come out and be like "ARE YOU GOING TO EAT???" and pour us our drinks and stuff... and she just wouldn't leave us alone or give us any space.

I tried talking to her about it and she got all spazzy and now she's being mean and taking it way to hard and saying stuff like "oh... no I understand. And things will change." But like in a sarcastic way which means she'll just never help me with anything anymore.

And I appreciate what she's doing, really, I do, but she needs to understand that I'm 15, not 10 and that I can get food and towels myself. But she just... doesn't. And I don't know what to do. None of my friend's moms are like this at all. I barely see them when I'm over.

Help? Please?

Answer 1

Relax, she's just trying to help. Are you the youngest? If you are, it's normal for her to be like this. Most moms don't want to face the fact that their kids are growing up, and learning how to fend for themselves. She probably still sees you as her little kid, which you might want to make her understand that you're not.

Sit her down, and calmly explain to her that you appreciate it, but you need your own space.

Answer 2

she just wants to be apart of your life and included in what you do - but reacting sarcastically I think she got the message she just may have been a little hurt by it. hope it all works out .

Answer 3

I had the same problem before. What I did was I annoyed the heck out of her. I would do what she does to me just so she can have a taste of it. Now she doesnt bother me as much.

Answer 4

tell her to **** off

Answer 5

Well, what I would do, is explain to her that your appreciate what she's doing for you. Tell her she's a great parent. But also tell her that you're growing up and need space, and you are able to be the host for your friends, that she doesn't need to go to the trouble of getting you things. Whatever you do, make sure that you are praising her, otherwise she will take it personally.

Answer 6

maybe it's not so much you, but her. Have you thought that maybe she is having trouble comming to terms with the fact that you are growing up. Sit her down and explain to her how you feel but make sure you do put some time each week aside to spend with her so she doesnt feel like she is loosing you.

Answer 7

My mum was like that when I was a teenager too.  It embarrassed me, but my friends all loved her and said how friendly she was.

It's frustrating when your parents take things you say the wrong way isn't it?  

Maybe she's trying in her own way to try and help you with your friends by trying to make them feel well looked after and comfortable in her home?  That's probably why she got offended.

Maybe just explain that you love her, appreciate her trying to be friendly and helpful, but you'd like to feel grown up by tending to your friend's needs yourself.

It might also be nice if you asked her one afternoon (or on a Saturday) if she wants to go and do something, just you and her.  She might be missing being able to spend time with you, and if you have some special time, she might be happier to back off a bit and give you some space.

Answer 8

When you grow up and get your own place you can have all the space you want. For all she knows that "Space" is so you can get drunk or high or pregnant. Just be thankful you have somebody that cares and stop whining.

Answer 9

What I would do is to sit her down, just you and her, maybe after dinner and talk to her about it. No screaming or yelling or crying, just calmly explain what bothers you and ask her to give you some space. If she does the "Oh, I understand, you don't want me in your life anymore" sort of thing, tell her, no, of course you do, but that maybe just coming up every once in a while because you ARE growing up. :) good luck