My mom gets upset when I tell her I don't want to date

Question

My mom gets upset when I tell her that "I don't want to date anyone" or "I'm not going to get married" b/c I'm 22 and I've never been liked by a guy. I'm not sure why I think this way - I like guys, but I just don't see *how* it would happen. I'm heading into 2 years of grad studies which are really intense. It's basically me in the lab, subway, home, repeat cycle; there is little variety there. Then afterwards, four years of med school and I know that it's just NOT advisable that you start dating in med school b/c things can get really messy.

I'm just not that attractive to guys and on top of that even if I wanted to change things around and meet guys I CAN'T because I'm always studying. It really stinks.

So, am I wrong for telling my mom that I'm not going to be with any guy any time soon? Like my whole 6 years are pretty much planned for me.

Answer 1

I would focus on studying.  If you not interested right now, fine, you'll excel without distraction.  I'm positive when your all done, that someone will be there right on time.

Answer 2

your mother should be understanding of your goal in life. I support you wanted to stay focus on your studies and make something of yourself.  after you finish and settle in to your life after school, you will have the time to date if you desire too.

good luck!  

Answer 3

She should stay out of your business!!

Answer 4

well, maybe u could find some time in the summer to date just to make her happy, then go back to school and get that mess all cleaned up then start dating again. IDK if this will work for u. or maybe if u just say u met someone and then be like oh it didnt work out or somthing. Idk i cant lie to my mommy but if u can njust this once maybe it owuld work. idk. maybe going on a date or 2 would work better

Answer 5

Well, your mom would very much like to see you happy and besides she probably wants grandchildren.  Just be sure to tell her that if/when the opportunity arises you will consider dating but you haven't met anyone who is interested and you don't see how you will any time soon.  Let her know you are not g*y (she may be concerned about that) and that you will consider dating if and when someone shows an interest.  What else can you tell her.  I am sure she is happy about your studies too, but like you said, "It stinks" so maybe if someone shows an interest you would find you were interested.  Remember, too, that all work and no play is not a good thing.  You need to develop into a well-rounded person who is adept in social situations as well as in the classroom or lab.   It can't hurt to bend a little and give your non-existent social life a couple of hours a week.  Then just see what happens.  Don't be too brutally studious; it won't make you happy.  And many med students do have social lives and even eventually marry.

Answer 6

You sound like a smart gal.  Many people get distracted by relationships, and no matter how lofty their goals are they often get sidetracked.  If you have a plan, and a mans not in it....it's really no concern of your moms.  When you do start dating...it's going to be "when are you getting married?" and then "when are you giving me grandbabies?"  It never ends.

Answer 7

So, who's life is this again?  It sounds like you need to just firmly, but nicely, tell your mom that you have no interest in getting into a serious relationship until after you finish school.  Leave it at that.  There really doesn't need to be a debate about this, it's your life. Your mom needs to respect your choices, after all you're an adult now.  

Answer 8

she wants to live vicariously through you and shes horny or she wants grand kids, you should date though because even a doctor needs to understand relationships both social and sexual it really would benefit your career .

Answer 9

You have a great plan, don't let mom mess it up*

Answer 10

she thinks you're a d**e

Answer 11

Really?  My mom is the opposite!  She gets upset when I even mention liking a guy!  It's your life, and you can do whatever you want to.  Personally, I think studying is more important than dating.  You have another decade to start a relationship.

Answer 12

wow you sound really accomplished and should be very proud of yourself and dreams.  

youre not wrong to tell your mother that you are not dating anytime soon but you should try to include men into your life more.  tons of people have successful careers and educations and have time for dating...

good luck and have fun!

Answer 13

she is probably afraid that you like girls.....

0_o