My mom is adopted and doesnt want to anything about her biological family, but I want to know!?

Question

How can I go about finding out who her biological parents are? Its not about meeting them, I just want to know more about my heredity and what not, I actually have no interest in meeting them since this would hurt my moms feelings. She's not about to give up any info. on who these pwople might be.

Answer 1

Your mom probably has many hard feelings towards her biological parents, starting with the feelings of abandonment, and if I were you, I would just leave it be and respect her wishes because all you are going to do is cause alot of needless heartache and sadness and possibly break apart any solid relationship bond that you have with your mother over this.

Recently from this question area (Yahoo! Answers/Genealogy), I, too, wanted to try to trace my family tree to try to find out medical histories <I have Stage 2b Cervical Cancer and Petit Mal Seizure Disorder> to see if anyone else on either side of my family had any kind of a history of it and someone pretty much told me that unless I am going to hire a professional genealogist <$$$> or to try to find the names of people I think are a part of my family <$$$>, there are few ways of getting that sort of information.

Your best bet is to try talking to your grandmother about it and see if she will give you any information and if this is not possible, just let it go.

Congrats on your new bundle of joy, BTW!

Answer 2

How about putting it to her that you are concerned about health. If you ever decide to have children, it can be really helpful to know about any hereditary genetic defects your mum's side of the family may inhibit. Or even her health as she grows older, or your own. It's a common question when at the doctors to ask about family health history. If your mum thinks you are asking purely for medical reasons, she might give you a clue. Good luck.

Answer 3

let it go babe. The most important person in this is your mom. Abide by her wishes.

Answer 4

DNA  can  now  tell nationality and  is  now  more common  requested.  Perhaps  you can  contact  a  lab how  this  is  done.  

Answer 5

This is your mom's call.  You need to respect her right to make it.  Stay out of it.

Answer 6

awww how sad

Answer 7

Ok, you need to know what Orphanage or what organization held her till she got adopted, because that organization or Orphange has all the information on the real childs parents, birthdate and everything. If you can find that out, you can probably learn her info. Good Luck

Answer 8

ya i wouldnt look into it unless it kills you 2 not know

Answer 9

adoption is painful for the people that go through it......it would  be best to abide by your mothers wishes and just leave it be.

theres probably a good reason why your mother doesnt want anything to do with them......what if you found out something that you really would rather have not found out?

Answer 10

If she doesn't want to know anything about them, then you have to respect that. You may not know the full story and pushing it could hurt her.. Just leave her be, mother knows best!

Answer 11

Oh Bubba :(

I understand your way of thinking, not because I'm in the same situation but because I have an interest in geneology.. I just want to know about the people from where I came...

AND you definitely have a point re wanting to know about potential health issues.. so many illnesses can be traced back through the family.

Maybe...( and my guess is you would have done this already) if you say how important it is to you to be able to learn about the possible illnesses and conditions in all family sides.....

I don't think it is possible to leave her out of it.. I think that would cause more issues and seeing as though she's about to become a grandmother and you will need her :)

Good luck with everything,

Jen

Answer 12

I would start by being honest with your mother and saying you want to know any health risks, that is a real issue for lots of people.

If she still says no i would look into the Department of Birth, Deaths and Marrages where she was born and see if they can give you any info like a birth certificate.

There are lots of agencies that help trace adoption you might try one of those next.

I would be careful of your mothers feeling of this, it might be a old scar that you don't want to reopen for her.

Answer 13

try searching  on the website, for information.

Answer 14

WOW! what a great question!

This is something that never crossed my mind.  I have 2 brothers who were adopted as babies and neither of them have looked into finding out who their biological parents are.  They have no interest. I never thought as far as their children are concerned. I do know that one of my brothers wrote into the provincial ( I am in Canada ) government, vital statistics I think. He got an updated medical history report. He found out about some cancer that runs in the family and other things that are important to know.  He requested that no personal information be disclosed about the names etc. of the parents.  Maybe your mom would be willing to do something like this.  Might be worth a try.

Good luck!