My mom is being a little too nosy?

Question

Well i'm 13 almost 14 (yes im young) and it really bothers me that my mom takes out my cellphone and starts looking at all my text messages. I know shes just trying to protect me but i think its overdoing it. Once she read one of my text messages that just came and deleted it before i got to it, then got mad at me. Sometimes my friends send me chain letters like someone loves u and if you send this to 10 ppl etc. Then she asks me who the person who sent me it is and tells me not to talk to them anymore. Also sometimes she gets my little brother to go spy on me and my older brother. If i tell her to please stop reading my text messages she gets mad and thinks im hiding something. But i really don't, i tell her things and i get good grades and stuff. Also, there's one big thing that really bothers me. When im on aim and i get off to get a drink or something, she gets on and starts reading it and talking to my friends. After that she goes up to me and asks me all these questions like why did he say wtf? or who is this animallover92? don't really know what to do can anyone help me?

Answer 1

Its the way moms are trying to watch you really carefully.  She probably doesnt want you to have s*x take drugs behind her back. Parents watch the news which usually say dont go to myspace or something.  The news is telling your mom what happens to teens in this kind of age.  Which makes her nosy because she cares about you but sometimes people do need their space I understand your problem.

Answer 2

To be protective is correct, and sadly badly needed these days.

BUT, i think this might be a bit overdoing it.

See if you can have a talk with your mother, when it is quiet and she is relaxed. (in other words, little brother around, don`t have a talk!).

Ask her why she wants to check everything, is there something / someone dangerous around the area? (because if there is - what should you look out for?)

Also, you might want to explain that it feels like she doesn`t trust you. Ask what you can do to gain that trust.

If you don`t want personal conversations to be seen, close a program before leaving the computer. Your friends will understand if you tell them " BRB, gotta go off-line for a bit".

Good luck

Answer 3

I can help.  Mom is doing her job as a MOM.  Good for her.  You don't have to like what she does, just as long as she does the right things for you.  You could always give up the phone.

Personally I think you are too young for a cell phone.  You really don't need one until you start driving, so consider yourself lucky that mom got you one in the first place.

Answer 4

Well I am also 13 but I don't have text messaging. But, I have the same problem as you. She looks at all my calls and im's. I have nothing to hide though. But, I just ignore her and keep moving in life. She's just trying to protect you and loves you. Hope I helped and good luck! : )

Answer 5

Your mom needs to realise that you need your personal space and that she needs to loosen her grip a little.

Why not start a friendly conversation about what she remembers about being 13. Ask her what her mom was like with her at that age, was she ultra-protective of her? How did she feel about that? Did she keep a journal or try and keep some secrets from her mom? In short, does she remember what it felt like to be a teenager and want some space and room to breathe to become an adult.

It's a tough one, because mom's will do anything to stop us repeating the same mistakes they made, but she needs to realise that, unless she gives you some freedom and learns to trust your judgment, you will never grow into a responsible adult, which I'm sure is what she really wants for you.