My mom is getting ready to give me the s*x talk, but under different circumstances

Question

I'm 15. I lost my virginity at 14 because of a really stupid decision. My mom found an empty condom wrapper in a drawer in my room. I've been asking for a couple months to go on birth control. I've only had s*x with two different partners. She wants to talk to me about it and she finally made the appointment for me. I feel really awkward talking to my mom about s*x. She told my brother that she felt like I had flipped out on her. I didn't mean to if I did. It was just early in the morning, 4:30am, and she was going through my room and I felt really embarrassed. So now my question is, should I quit hiding in my room and just go talk to her, or should I wait until she comes down to even bother saying anything?

Answer 1

don't mind what other people say about you.....but i feel as if you should go talk to your mother about it and just let her know how you feel about she might be upset and everything but she would get over it because she have to realize that it was going to happen one day or another but she should at least be happy that you didn't come home pregnant or something like most tens do when they first have s*x but at least your protecting your self

Answer 2

Go talk to her.  Tell her everything and let her know what is happening in your life.  Finding out that her daughter is sexually active would scare any parent.  I know.  I am one.  She is just worried about you and wants to help you make well educated decisions.  

Good Luck,

Momma_Bear

PS- Being an ostrich and sticking your head in the sand isn't going to help any situation no matter how big or small.

Answer 3

Only 2 different partners...yea and I'm sure those 2 won't be your last so what are you gonna say when your 20? Only 8 different partners? and at 25 only 12 or 14?

I think your mom should have a good LONG s*x talk with you and let you know its not ok to have s*x at your age...let alone be a s**t about it! Remember once your baby is born and your "partner" is gone because he doesn't care. You won't be going to prom or staying out late after the high school football games. You will be home with your baby being a mom....I think you need to take a good hard look at your life and realize whats more important s*x with guys who don't respect you...or maybe grades and going to college

I was young once and thought yea everyone who is telling me study stay way from boys is crazy and just doesn't want me to have fun...yea now I look back I wish I would have! They are saying all that because they where in your shoes and have regrets!

Answer 4

Only 2 different partners...1 is already enough, u really need to talk to ur mom the earlier the better

Answer 5

You should be up front and honest with your mom, I know its embarrasing but its something you need to do. Trust me if you are up front with her she will take it better than finding stuff in your room. Im not saying by any means that she is going to say "yeah go have s*x with whoever, whenever"...I just know from experience being honest is always the best route.

Answer 6

My advice...

Drop the 'I was sooo stupid' attitude, and drop the 'only' 2 partners at 14 too.

First of all, kids do experiment.  That does not make you stupid.

If anyone is stupid, it's a certain person in your house who was going around boasting 'MY daughter does not do THAT'.

It's not something you need to confess, or apologize for. It's part of your own, private life (even though, arguably, this wasn't the smartest decision in your entire life).

Secondly, what's done is done.  Water under the bridge.  Feeling sorry is too late, it's hypocritical, it does not change ANYTHING, so it's totally pointless.

I'm not saying it's right to have had 2 different partners at 14, but I am saying that both you and your mother need a little reality check here.   It seems like both of you are living like you are the innocent little girl who does not do dirty things and listens to her mother who knows everything.

That's not really the situation here.

So stop feeling sorry, and see if your mom has anything constructive to say.

She may fall back on the mother-to-child approach, in which case you can give her a big well-deserved 'whatever'.

Yet, she may surprise you.

Answer 7

Just talk to her. It is your mom and you shouldn't feel that way.  

Answer 8

i say you go talk to her, it may feel awkward at first, but its gotta happen and the sooner the better, that way you wont be on awkward terms until she brings it up, remember, she may feel awkward about confronting you too

Answer 9

you too young to be having it with anyone. talk to her..now

Answer 10

go and talk to her.

i still haven't really told anyone about how i lost mine, and i was 14 too and know i am 15.

i let people find out and when my sister found out she sorta told me to tell my dad to take me to the OBGYN, but i really do not want to,

but it's all up to you.

Answer 11

Talk to your mom sweety. If you build a strong positive relationship with her, you won't need to find it in s*x. 14/15 and s*x does not=stability and happiness.

Answer 12

Talk to her - the sooner the better.  Explain that you know you made a stupid decision, but now want to take responsibility.  I know it's awkward talking to your mom about these things, but when it comes down to it - she is the one that truly has your best interests at heart.  Remember, she was once a teen too & could probably offer some very good advice.  

Answer 13

Its time to own up to all of your decisions and start talking about them.  It will be uncomfortable and awkward at first, but in the end, its well worth it.  It could also be an awesome bonding experience for you and your mom if you keep an open, nonjudgmental mind.  Perhaps you could ask her if the two of you could go out for a nice lunch and just have some girl talk.

Answer 14

You should talk to your mom. I think she probably cares enough about you to hear you out. However, at 15 and having two partners already that's a bit young to be sexually active so I would slow it down if I were you..

Answer 15

You should go and talk to her.  You know, I think she's taking it fairly well if she hasn't mentioned boarding or military school.  And you're Mom is right that if you're sexually active, you need to go in and get checked out and start taking birth control (figure that's what the appt is for).  You may not be having s*x all the time but it only takes one time to get you pregnant.

Answer 16

You should do the s*x talk with her and let her get it off her chest but if you feel uncomfortable talking about what you've done or when you "flipped out" on her then don't bring it up

Answer 17

I know how embarrassing it can be talking to you mother about this subject but you need to ......for your help and hers

good luck  

Answer 18

just go talk to her. you can get it over with and show her that you are a mature individual who does not plan on flipping out on her.