My mom is making me almost break down... I can't handle it. I need help???

Question

The thing is that i used to be considered a major nerd in school and nobody ever liked me because I was an obnoxious know-it-all. The thing is was that I just put that up because I thought "Oh, they stereotyped me, I might as well become a nauxious nerd, since I am that bad. What do I care?" The thing is that I always knew that it shouldn't matter, cos I am a good person, but we have to admit that even the least shallow people like to feel like they look good. I always felt ugly, had a unibrow, greasy hair... I realised I deserve better, so I got a part time summer job, bought clothes, make up, starting doing my hair (this happened over the past three years), but I still am a straight A student! Obviously I care about school, it's important to get an education, I just think that I can balance it with taking care of yourself as well... For me, the perfect day would be just lying on the couch, watching tv and eating. And this summer, having a job, I don't get that very often. So when I do, I lie around, watch stuff like Top Model, Project Runway, Entertainment Now, Ellen Degeneris and all that... I have a right... And now my mom always keeps telling me that I've become a shallow ***** and is all about shopping, doing my hair and watching shallow tv-shows. Apparently, I don't help around the house and I am absorbed in my own little world of glamour... But that's not true! I get up in the mornings to clean up the entire kitchen and do it in the evenings too when my parents finished dinner and watch the news or something .It's just that nobody notices. ANd now I hear my mom constantly telling me that I do nothing, I am lazy and shallow and love myself way too much. How is that supposed to make me want to come home in the evenings and help around and spend time with them? My mom says that I am one of those people that once I make it into showbiz (that's my dream area of profession - movie director, actress or designer), I will become a rich snob and ignore all my family, because that's how shallow and self-absorbed I am.

It's really starting to get to me. I don't want to show it, because I want to be stronger than that, but as soon as I am alone, I can't stop crying and any little thing can trigger more tears. I try to ignore it, but I live with these comments every single day. Have I really become shallow? Am I that bad? Is watching all these shows involved with fashion making me a worse and more superficial person? I can't handle it. I feel hated, unwanted and like I am a horrible person. Somebody, just help in any way please...

Answer 1

oh my god why your mum tells u that because u care about your self now well i dont think u r becaming superficial person i do watch that programmes too i care about my self because no one is going to care about u and im kind of a nerd too i dont understand why your mum is so mean with you come on.You must tell ur mum that her agressive comments are getting u because its hard to hear that from a mother

(i dont care what people say i just listen to my mum)

kisses from uruguay

Answer 2

You my dear need to get a grip on life. Grow up and stop being a jack---. Do you really do all the things you say you do or are you just babbling to make yourself sound better than you probably really are. Normally when a person does what all you say you do, it does not go unnoticed. So, give us the real story here.

Answer 3

I can kinda relate. I dont know you personally but from what I hear. maybe you dont relize what your turnin into. I watch those shows all the time last year and my mom told me the same things about the shows and my attitude actually changed. I became really short tempered and mean. The shows could be having an affect on you. As for the hair and stuff, so what you wanna look good, i dont think that is what makin you different. You can be really pretty and really nice at the same time. I dont think your hated or unwanted you just dont exactly have your priorities straight. Try watching different things or try to keep yourself always doing something and if the comments continue try ignoring them or try explaining yourself to you mom.

Answer 4

you need to grow up and also your mother does. Shouting at you that you will become superficial when you become famous (unlikely) sounds like she is just as childish as you.  

Answer 5

"the thing is" this.... parents will be parents. this we know will never change. I think its great that ur taking pride in ur appearance. but its important not to cross into the territory of being "prideful".  U've also taken on the responsibility of getting a job. Great! So mom doesn't notice ur efforts? been there done that. Try this, every time you do something around the house, let moms know. just simply say when she walks in the door " hey, mom, i cleaned the kitchen( or whatever it is u"ve done), does it look ok?" that way she either puts her stamp of approval on it or not. if she doesn't then ask her how she wants u to do it. that way ur both on the same page.  As far as lounging around, yes, everyone is entitled to relax. Again, simply say" mom i would like to sit and watch such and such on tv, is there anything u'd like for me to do before i unwind and relax?"  This way if an argument erupts you have her own stamp of approval to back you up. theres nothing wrong with wanting to better ur appearance just as long as it doesn't consume you. hang in there. pretty soon u'll be in hollywood, living on ur own, and showing ppl that its ok to be beautiful, successful, and warm and compassionate to those around u no matter what u or they look like!

Answer 6

Way too long - I have no idea what your point is.

Answer 7

This is nothing new; parents not relating to their kids is normal. However, instead of withdrawing more and more, try to make it a point to do more to help out. (And try watching something other than that mtv/fashion/reality stuff...watch some news or something). Maybe your mom just wants to spend more time with you. So, make sure she knows that you still care, that you improved your looks just so your self-esteem was a little better, and prove that you're still as smart and hard-working as you were before.  

Answer 8

All you need to do is be you! You don't have to watch shallow stuff to be cool and to look cool. Stop self- pitying yourself. You're only putting yourself down and trying to please everyone. Don't do that. Try to help around the house as much as you can. Your family comes first and try to do more than cleaning the kitchen. You don't have to have everybody accept. When you start becoming self concious  you start to want everyone accept you. Just be you. And one more thing... stop watching shallow shows. They don't help.  

Answer 9

Forget her.

A lot of moms, like my mom, HATE change.

Once you've change, they'll hate.

It takes time for them to learn.

You're living a normal life.

Honestly, she has like 16 hours a day by herself, so your mom doesn't need to do any work.

She's probaly jealous of your beauty too.

It's ok to be beautiful and smart.

If you're just beautiful, then you won't have a rich life.

If you're smart, you'll be rich, but won't have a hot BF.

If you're both, your life is perfect.

Nothing is wrong with you.

It's your Mom.

Seriously.

She's telling you to become a nerd and ugly again.

That's what she wants.

If you want to go back to that life, it's all up to you.

She's shallow b/c she doesn't understand you.

She's self-absorbed because she wants her nerdy daughter back.

She doesn't care about the family becasue she doesn't care about what YOU think.

Answer 10

NOW I LIVE IN BRAZIL

A PARADISE

NEWS FROM THE h**l I PREFER NOT TO HEAR

XIMMAM RAYADJ

Answer 11

Just bc you are into fashion & like to look good does not make you a shallow person...inform your mother of that. Next time she goes on a rant saying you dont help around the house let her know that you did clean the entire kitchen while balancing a part time job & school. She really needs to cut you some slack...I mean all moms are going to nag you...just try & bear it until you can move out on your own...thats what I did. If the problem persists I'd def. sit her down & have a heart to heart..let her know you are that same girl & you arent shallow.

Answer 12

You need to sit down and tell ur mum that u are growing up now and that u want to look after urself as well as ur education.

Tell her that u still care about school and that u cant get much better than straight A's, and your still getting them so what is her problem.

Tell her that maybe u could understand why she is being so nasty if u was obnoxious and self centred, and getting E's at school.

The more she is saying these things, the more it is getting to u and u cant let her change u into something u are not. u are a growing lady and u need to grow up. summer holidays are all about laying around and doing nothing all day. thats what everyone does!

The best thing u can do her is ignore her. dont let her get to u. she will see that nothing she says will change the way u are, so she will soon get over it.

Answer 13

omg, i actually took the time to read all of it. it's sounds to me that you and your family lack connection. you need to sit down with your family and tell them how you feel when they say those horrible things. this is important because if you keep silence for such a time, no one will know how you feel inside. No, you have not become shallow. your parents are actually oblivious to the fact that, you actually do help around the house. you need to tell them. in addition, about you and going buying something nice for yourself is a good thing. there is nothing wrong with wanting to look attractive. this boots your confidence and self-esteem. i'm a 19 year old college students and i talk to a lot of cute girls. what i'm trying to say is that if you don't look attractive in society, especially girls, then you're going to feel like an outcast. To conclude, you just need to talk to your parents and try to make them understand how you feel when you hear those things. it's not that you're shallow, it's your parents fault for not appreciating what you are.

hope i helped and good luck

Answer 14

print out this question and give it to your mum, itl let her know how you feel as maybe she didnt even realise she was hurting you this much.  hopefully once she realises how down you are you can both talk things through and try to sort it out :)

Answer 15

Hey listen, a lot of people feel the same way.Everyone in this world is beautiful in a unique way.No one's perfect.If you think celebs are then ur wrong bcuz their pictures are airbrushed and stuffs.You know once I used to be exactly like you but as i grew up I realized that life's hard and I have to deal with it myself because it's my life and not anybody else's.So you have to go through a lot of difficult things in life.You just stand up for yourself.Have confidence.You can't just give up and cry yourself out.Your mm says the same as my mom.She says i'm lazy and stuffs.So...you're not hated.You love yourself and I know a lot of ppl love you too.They just don't know how to show it.Your mom's probably having some difficulties in life for which she's stressed and stuffs.So give that some time and im sure she'll be a better person.And yeah...so after u've passed ur teenage years you'll realize everything.You'll know that everyone's beautiful in their own unique way(unless they have a twin looking exactly like them..lol).Every teenager has difficulties in their life so cheer up.Don't be stressed.THis is life and it's meant to be like that.You can't complain but the only thing you can do is deal with it.STand up for yoursself.Hope i helped.I'm 14 going to be 15.Bye.I luv u.