My mom is seriously driving me crazy.?

Question

Okay, so, for a few months now, it seems, my mother has been acting crazy. I've been "seeing" this guy for a while, and I really, reallyy do not want to. like, it would be in my best interest not to.

And she's forcing him on me. She keeps saying "Send him an e-mail!" Every 10 minutes. And then Ill be on instant messaging and she'll barge into my room saying "Did he e-mail you? Call him. No, do it right now. You're being stubborn, do it!" I dont WANT to call him. I seriously, full heartedly do not want to.

And then while she's in there, she'll look at my IM's and she'll go "Who is this person?" And ill say "Oh my friend ____" and she'll go "How do you know they're not a rapist? How do you know they're not going to come find you?" and she NEVER leaves me alone about it.

Just recently I was on the phone with a friend, she barges into my room and goes "Is that Christine? Ask her if she needs a ride...GABBY! Ask her if she needs a ride!" And im the middle of a totally different conversation, so I'm like "No! Later!"

And then after I raise my voice even the slightest, or have an annoyed tone, she gets this puppydog face and pouts, and walks away all upset. It annoys the h**l out of me because if Im frustrated, I'm going to show it. I'm not going to fake being okay with her doing all these things because they're seriously frustrating and annoying me more than anything right now.

The worst thing is, she threatens death. Like, me or my brother will get annoyed or something and she'll go "Youll be sorry when I'm gone!" and she'll get that pouty upset look. I think that's a terrible thing for a mother to say, or act like.

And it's causing me harm, because I've become crazy myself because of it. I'm now annoyed by the stupidest things, and I'm not even allowed to talk to my mom about any of this, because when I try to, she completely ignores me and does not care one bit, whatsoever.

Ill try to talk to her about things that are bothering me in my life and shell go "Okay, sorry about that." and she'll ignore what I have to say..

Am I being crazy? Or would this annoy you too?

God, please, somebody help me. I feel like Im going insane.

Answer 1

your not crazy.

your mom can be over the top sometimes.

you gotta tell her, and correct her wats rite and wats wrong to say.

Answer 2

Without her knowing take her to a psychiatric clinic and leave her there.

Answer 3

Alright, now I'm not really qualified to offer advice, seeing as I only found your question by chance. Maybe it was fate. That aside, listen to this with an open mind and a closed heart. Think about what I say and don't get hurt, okay?

On the topic of your mother and this guy, you have to explain to her that he is not your sort of guy. Now, when I say that, I don't mean walk up and go "[Name here] isn't my sort of guy". I mean actually have a conversation. Tell her what about him doesn't do it for you! Tell her that if you keep wasting time with this guy, you may miss out on a guy you actually have things in common with. Heck, even that nice nerdy guy you barely talk to but is always so polite when you do. (You know the one I mean. There is always one.)

As for the instant message rapists, she has a point. If this person is not a friend you know in the real life, there is no telling who they are on the internet. I personally, in my youth, found great pleasure in pretending to people I was not, just to mess with those on the other end. There are some sick people out there. She just wants to protect you. This is a GOOD thing. It is a way of showing love. I know it can seem a bit annoying, but truth be told, it is a sign that she has your interests at heart.

On to the topic of giving friends rides. I am normally not one for negotiating with terrorists, but, if prompted, maybe the easiest way of dealing with this issue is just to ask the question. It can take 5 seconds if properly executed. You say "Hey Christine, my Mom wants to know if you need a ride" she says no, you relay the message with a smile, tell her thanks and then go back to business. No puppy eyes, no anger. This is just a sign that she wants to be involved in your life. It is also a sign that she is seeking some sort of acceptance from your friends. Maybe she thinks they hate her?

Lastly, on the topic of dead and dying mothers. I don't think she is threatening death so much as trying to find a way of saying "All I want is for you to love me and give some kind of gratitude for all I do for you." I know that isn't the message that comes across, but it is the general sentiment, I assure you. When you or your brother get annoyed and put on your angry face, she might feel a little bit hurt. Generally, a parent likes to think that they do things for the sake of their children. They like to think that they make sacrifices for, build a better life for, and work very hard for their children. I don't know you, Gabby. I don't know your mother. When you try to tell her how hard it is for you, the "Okay, sorry about that" may just be her way of saying "it is hard for me too".

You can dismiss this as what it is, a block of text from some stranger on the internet. However, before you do, I have a small homework assignment for you. Think back and hard for at least 30 minutes. Find some things you did wrong. (I know there is SOMETHING) Now, try to fix it, if it can be. Regardless of if it can be fixed, or if it can't, the next step is to go up to your mother and apologize. Then thank her for something. Anything will do, all you have to say is "I'm trying my best to be a good person, I know you are trying your best to be a good parent." Even if it isn't true, it is a powerful message.

Best of luck in life, Gabby. Here is hoping this is the worst thing that ever happens to you.

Answer 4

It sounds like you are going through a very hard time and it sounds like you love your mother so much. It sounds like you are in ethier your teens and or early adult hood this may make your mother feel as though she is losing you as her little girl and that she is worried she is no longer needed by you and she shows this by saying her death threats because she wants you to react to that. These death threats may not be serious but do take them seriously. The next time she is trying to force you to do something acknowelege the fact she may be trying to keep you dependant on her and than try to figure out a way that you get what you think is best for you without hurting your mothers feelings. Try simple things to get your mom to back off like asking her to drive you somewhere, could she do this for you, ect.

By acting as if you still need her in someways she will back off a tad bit. And the next time she utters those threats say Yes, mom I would feel horriable if you were gone, you are my mother and noone can replace you. But when you say those things it worries and scares me if you need to talk about something I am here to listen just as you have listen to me over the years but if you seriously want to die you need to talk to somene professional.

Answer 5

well, I can see what you mean. you need to have a long talk with your mom, but since she is not someone you can have a conversation with, you should write down what you want to say and let her read it. explain about the boy, explain about the guilt trip, explain about her not listening when you try to discuss something with her but most of all explain to her how she is driving you crazy, literally. not good for a young person. I hope that helps, and if id don't, just try to ignore her, if you can. don't let her drive you insane.  

Answer 6

I'm going through similar situations with my mom even after I moved 6 hours away! It has improved a bit. I think when you move out and live on your own you will start to feel a bit more freedom. I know from experience it can be frustrating and the guilt might make you feel bad. But remember the way your mom reacts is not your fault. And if she guilt trips you it is her problem for doing so. The hardest part is sticking up for yourself and what you want. If you don't want to date a boy, don't and if she tries to be stubborn about it remind her it is your life. It sounds like she's having a hard time letting you live your own life. Counseling might help. Good luck and be strong because what you want in life matters!    

Answer 7

OMG, you poor thing. You mom is nuts.... no.... she a NARCISSIST!!!

rEAD THESE BLOGS. sEE IF YOU FIND SIMILARITIES.

http://blog.dantesinfernowithchildren.co...

http://www.narcissisticparents.blogspot....

and read this book. It will explain to you how to deal with such people and not go crazy yourself.

Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grownup's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents by Nina Brown

Answer 8

she sounds like she is trying to be a buddy instead of a parent. perhaps she doesn't know how to be a parent. It's too bad she does the guilt trip on you. I don't have any advice for you. I am sorry. There is really no good way to boss your mom around. But it would be nice if she would be a parent and let you be the kid. That's all I can say.