My mom is trying to plan my wedding....

Question

help. my mom is trying to plan my wedding and wants everything to be done her way. what should i say to her. i already told her that its my wedding and i want to plan it, but that didnt seem to work

Answer 1

Try not to be too hard on her. Usually the Mother of the Bride plans the wedding shower and I think a few other things (traditionally) perhaps you could keep her busy with that stuff while you do your thing.

If that doesn't work, tell her straightforward.

Answer 2

It depends on if she paying for parts of the wedding. Be honest with her and tell her how you feel, its your wedding and you should be able to plan what you want when you want. I wish you the best of LUck!

Answer 3

You have to be honest and blunt with her. Nothing else will work in this situation. Be diplomatic and consider her feelings in the way you say it, but you have to tell her how you feel if  you don't want her to run things.

Answer 4

be blunt. Tell her to back off, its YOUR wedding and YOU are the one getting married, not her.  

Answer 5

You need to give some more details.   Is she really trying to plan it...as in calling up vendors and working out contracts?  In that case she's over the line and you need to have a frank but polite conversation with her.

If all she is doing is making suggestions like saying,  "The centerpieces should be dasies!" then let it go.  She's not doing anything wrong.  She is just being a mom and taking interest in your wedding and trying to HELP you.  Accept it and be greatful that she cares, some people aren't so lucky.  If she suggests something truly horrible (like when my grandma wanted to do watermelon swans filled with ambrosia salad dyed purple for our centerpieces) then all you do is say "Mom that sounds so nice but John and I were talking the other day and we really want to go with _____________"

Be careful about how quick you are to push her out of the equation and how you handle it.  You might regret it later when you want her help with something.

Answer 6

It could be your mom is trying to make you the wedding that she wanted so badly. Sit her down and tell her she needs to back off. This is your day and your wedding not hers. If she loves and cares about you she will listen. She does want what is best for you but you have to tell her that what is best for you is for you to plan your wedding. If it does come down to her not listening you can try and say that she is no longer welcome to the wedding. It is harsh and cruel but it just be the way to have her back off. I wish you the best of luck and congratulations on your special day.  

Answer 7

You are going to be someone's wife so it is high time you stand up for your self.  How much does this bother you?  How badly do you want to get control of your wedding?  Time to have a heart to heart with mom and tell her what it is that you don't want and what it is that you want.  You tell her that you need to plan your wedding as the first step in being able to a good wife that can organize and run a household and raise a family.  Tell her that if she continues the way that she is doing you will never be able to have that confidence in yourself.  Tell her that you love her and you know how much this wedding means to her but it means even more to you and you want it to be like this and then tell her what it is that you want.   Stand up to mommy now and do what you must to make it stick or get ready to remain under her thumb and control for ever.  it really is up to you. If she is paying for everything and will not change then you might have to give up the dream wedding and plan something you and your fiance can afford even if it is city hall and a nice restaurant with friends afterward.   When things come with a hefty price tag you had better be sure that what you are really willing to pay the cost before you accept..  Time to be a woman now and not mommy's little girl.

Answer 8

If you and your fiance are paying for the wedding yourselves, you two make all the decisions and plans. It is nice, however, to still accept suggestions from both sets of parents'.

However, if your mom is paying for the wedding, you've given over control.

Answer 9

This just happened to me, but I had to just stay firm and let her have somethings and than let me have the rest. Give her one task that is all hers, she will feel like she is involved and being able to do some with out you telling her  you don't want her help.

We are excited to get married, but our mothers are even more excited to help us. Don't hurt her but be firm.  

Answer 10

If she is paying unfortunately there is not much you can do. I would however try to compromise with her.  Sit down with her and tell her what you like of her ideas and how you can incorporate your ideas together.

If she is not paying then be firm and just tell her you are doing it your way and that is that.  

Good Luck