My mom.....?

Question

ok, today, i admitted that i am a vegetarian to my mom. i have been for like two or three months. i thought she would be ok with it, but she has been mocking me and trying to make me feel tempted to eat meat all day!!! its horrible!!! did your parents do this at first? what can i do to make her respect me? why do people do that? : (

Answer 1

For starters...she must not be much of a Mom if she didn't notice.  The fact that she didn't notice says a lot about her parenting.  If she tried harder to have a close relationship with you, you wouldn't have had a problem sharing it with her.

Secondly, making fun of you is very disrespectful.  She shouldn't treat you that way.  That's not OK, even if she doesn't agree with you decision.

No, my parents were not like that with me.  My husbands parents are another story though.  When we visit them we have to take our own food with us because they purposely make sure there is nothing for us to eat.

My advice to you is this:  Next time your Mother starts making fun of you or tried tempting you with meat, ask her why she is doing it.  Ask her if she even cares about you.  Then try to explain to her why you made the decision to go vegetarian.  If she won't listen, don't bother talking about it anymore.  Tell her that she is treating you really unfairly.  

Or you could print some literature off the internet.  Include things about all the reasons you went vegetarian.  Leave it for her all neatly stapled and highlighted.  She can read it while your not around and maybe that will help her understand.

What you eat is you decision.  If you are old enough to want to be a vegetarian, no one can stop you.  You have obviously been making all of your own meals.  That means it will not cause her trouble.

She sounds really immature and situations like this show people's true colors.  You can learn from this.  You won't treat your children like that when you have kids.

Teasing and tauting makes us stronger, whether or not we realize it in the moment.  It's just too bad when that teasing and taunting has to come from our Mother.  We are supposed to be able to trust our Moms.  I am so sorry you are going through this.  All I can tell you is stick to your own beliefs and shrug off comments from people who don't understand.  This life is not about making your Mother happy, especially when it seems like she doesn't think of your happiness.  It's about doing what you think is right.  Follow your heart and it will all be alright in the end.

Answer 2

Really? Geez, the my sibling mocked me for maybe the first couple of months and some people at school did for about a second. My mom never did that and the only person who still actually does that is my nine year old brother, and even he doesn't do that very much anymore because he likes the food I make.

So you mom is acting like a nine year old.

Answer 3

Ok, she's doing it because she cares about you and is probably convinced eating meat is important for you to be healthy. While in her own Mom way she respects you, to her you're also still the meat-eating girl she raised according to what she understood was best.

While you will need to talk to her about it, and be strong about your decision - remember that you mom cares about you, even if that means being a jerk about it occasionally as she was today :P

Answer 4

My mum tried everything to try to get me to eat meat and I suspect she thought it was just a phase I was going through [me being 14 and all].

She used the whole "you've just been sick, you should be eating well and not starving yourself" as well as telling me that vegetarianism started with hippies and that God gave us meat to eat and it would have looked stupid putting carrots on the altar.

None of which was relevant and she said that she would not eat meat when I came home for holidays from boarding school and yet she still does.

Oh and don't forget the whole "I just don't want you to jump into all this nonsense". She doesn't even know what she's talking about; I became vegetarian just after Lent this year and I have been researching it and thinking about it since halfway through last year. Grr. Parents. I haven't told my dad yet.

If you want her to respect you, just maintain your dignity. Don't bring up the issue unecessarily [I sense it will be your mum doing that anyway] and refuse to argue about it because then she will accuse you of being pushy or extremist etc.

I don't know why people do it though...maybe it makes them feel superior...God only knows.

Answer 5

People do this because they feel threatened.

You are threatening her way of life, and threatening the way she brought you up.  You are going against what she has brought you up doing.  See, parents are people too, and people are usually not very rational at all and just jump straight into their non-rational thought processes...  She's growing up and choosing her own path in life, she's not my little girl any more, she'll starve or die, she's saying that my cooking is bad, all those years I've fed her this and that and it was fine and now suddenly she doesn't want it... bla bla bla... It's basically based upon pure selfishness and narrowmindedness.  You just have to say calm and rational and never talk back, never let her/them push your buttons etc. and just keep it matter-of-fact "I'm vegetarian, and that's it... there are many vegetarians out there... there have been vegetarians since pre-history, and now I'm one too."  Anyway, just keep in mind that your parents and the rest of your family are just regular humans... they will act very much like if you just told them, "I'm g*y" for some reason.  Has little to do with what you have said, but what you represent to them.  In the simplest parts of her brain she feels that you are mocking her... you want to eat differently than she brought you up to eat and you want to sit there at dinner time and eat your own different meal with everyone else eats the same thing as usual... bla bla bla...  Yup... so, you must make it very clear that is has nothing to do with her or how you were raised and you are very thankful and respectful to how you were raised etc. but now you are going to try something different... like switching from piano to guitar.. it's really nothing... no big deal.  Try that approach.

Answer 6

That's bizarre.  Your mother mocks you?  Sounds like there are deeper issues.

You can always shut a mother up by saying something like, "Yeah, well when I was a child I turned around in the grocery store one day and you were GONE!  DO YOU KNOW HOW THAT MADE ME FEEL???  I can barely shut my eyes now because I'm afraid I will wake up alone and never see you again.  HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME???"

She'll forget about the vegetarian thing straight away.

Answer 7

yeah my parents kind of did the same.....they kept bringing home my old favorite meat meals..(Arbys roast beef sanwiches, and fried chicken) I was like ok mom, dad...i cant eat that c**p....they just didnt get it! And lately my mom always looks at my funny when i read the label before i eat a food, i tell her im checking for gelatin, etc...and she doesnt believe me that gelatin is from animals, I actually had to get online and look it up, and show it to her! She gets really offended when i dont eat a meat meal that she has made, sometimes she forgets and will use chicken broth or something, and before i eat, i ask " did you use chicken broth..etc" and she gets mad when i dont eat it!!  Also, she keeps telling me that " i am getting to thin, and that i look anaemic"....ummm okay? Im definatley not, i go to the doc regularly. She is just going crazy...

Answer 8

haha sorry thats funny, my mom did the exact same thing:]

ugh...adults.

Answer 9

No, my parents never did. Then again, I didn't try to hide it from them either. I suggest you apologize for hiding it, then explain why it's important to you. Make it into mother-daughter bonding time by asking her to help you cook a vegetarian dinner for the family.

(Just a hint... since they're obviously not vegetarians and are probably pretty meat-centered, I'd advise choosing a reasonably dairy/egg-heavy "central dish." Consider a cheese/veggie lasagna.)

Answer 10

tell her that she's just jealous cause your more healthier

Answer 11

My parents did that too.

Tell her why you went vegetarian,

Tell her about how slaughter houses and farms treat their animals

A good site to find facts to back up your opinion is goveg.org

Answer 12

my parents where a little confused about me being veg. at first but i showed them some videos on peta.com and i told them why it was important for me to do this. My mom made me start cooking my own meals but as soon as she saw some of the cool things i was making she wanted to try some. 2 years later my whole family is trying some veg. meals and they like it. so just give ur mom some time show her why you are doing it and offer to cook something for her. also there are great books at the library if you haven't checked yet.

good luck and dont give in .. trust me its worth it !