My mom says I can have s*x even though I'm 14 and my friends say that it is the greatest.?

Question

People have screwed me over before, (tricking me), and I was lied to and bullied a lot so i am not sure I can trust my friends because well... they aren't that trustworthy- actually they really aren't even my friends. I move and change schools so much and I'm sick of being the new "innocent" girl. I hate it so much because I am way more mature than most people my age. I even do my mother's taxes and help her with adult situations but I am very private about my problems or when I am sick, or how I feel. You could say I handle everything like an adult, except boys. My mom says I can have s*x and get on the pill when and if I wanted but I'm afraid it will not be good and hurt.

I am supposed to be starting high school, today was my first day, but didn't start because we are moving again to Massachusetts.

I'm a smart girl so no need for advise, everyone tells me I'm smarter than most adults, but i don't talk about s*x and that stuff because I have no friends and you don't know my mom, she'll just make me feel uncomfortable.

I analyze people a lot, I'm really good at personal profiling, I always win in rock, paper, scissors because I can like read people's mind's by their body language. But there is this boy I'm crazy about and he slapped my butt and he likes me and I like him.

Please don't tell me what to do. I can make my own decision.

I just want to know the real deal from personal experience... when was you first time how old were you, did it hurt, stuff like that. Did you regret it? Was it good/bad?

Answer 1

PLEASE!

Please wait.

your only 14 you have you whole life ahead of you.

dont you want to wait till its with the right person?

s*x is a very personal thing. wait.

trust me. you will thank me.

im not saying wait till marrige if u dont want to jus wait for the absolute right person.

Answer 2

okay just wiat s*x at fourteen is illegal isn't it i mean am i wromng or did they change the age. soi dont especially if u could b caught and arrestred

Answer 3

I was 13 and yes it hurt but not horribly. I wasn't good at all, I wasn't even sure what I should have been doing or if he was even doing it right because I was too young to know the difference between good and bad s*x. I regret doing it though. The only reason I did it was for the fact of saying that I wasn't a virgin. I wish I had saved myself for that special someone. Life doesn't always go as we'd like to plan for it though. If you do engage in sexual activites, make sure you are protected. Definitely get on birth control and use condoms. You should also know that no birth control is 100% effective. I wish you luck no matter which decision you make.

Answer 4

I was like you when I was your age and for own experience, it shall be better to wait until you get more mature and meet the person you will really love. I'm really glad you have communication with your mom and that she told you to take the pill, most mothers freak out or are closed about the subject. Im also still a virgin, but my sister told me how it is, here I pass the advice if you still decide to have s*x:

1) Start taking the pill and wait a month for the contraceptive effects to take place. Condoms can break and you don't need a pregnancy now, still tell your partner to be covered. This combo never fails and also avoids sexually transmitted diseases.

2) No matter how you plan it, it will hurt and you won't enjoy your first time. You will fill a hard tingling pain when your hymen breaks and then a lower pain will remain. The few days after will probably hurt a little bit.

Answer 5

If you're going to have s*x, get on the pill and do that for a few months before you have s*x, and always use a condom, it's extra protection against pregnancy and it will help protect you from disease. I would not suggest starting to have s*x at 14 unless your heart tells you this is the right person and you are ready. Don't let anyone pressure you.

Answer 6

Um Yeah, like I was 16 and yes, it hurt, and no it wasn't a good experience, I wish I would have waited A LOT LONGER!!  You are too young to be even worrying about this, mature or not.  Have fun, make some new friends in Mass., (girl friends), don't even worry about guys yet, most are after one thing and one thing only at this age.  You seem very mature, and I know your mom sees that also, and that may be why she said what she did, but just wait, seriously, you don't want to make any mistakes like that, they last a life time!!  Good luck hun at your new school!!  I hope you eventually get to settle in one place so you can have some close friends, now is the time where you make friends that last a lifetime, through good and bad, and everything in between!!

Answer 7

first time I regret cause of course it was not my last s*x does not improve a relationship and it does not look good saying I had s*x at this age or I have been with this many people. Yes it hurt your taking something that is closed and has not been entered and slamming a long hard thing in it. its uncomfy, the first time should be something great and romantic with someone thats perfect. I thought I was ready but I look back and say I was not. I say wait till your older but if your gonna do it BE SAFE use condoms and birth control, the std risk is scare especially cause you can not trust men they can and will tell you what you want to hear. I heard my ex tell a girl at a part he was only with one other girl but yet 3 of us who had him were there. (we blow his spot and enjoyed it) Men will brag about you and what they got from you becareful and dont get tricked.  

Answer 8

You do seem very intelligent and if your as smart as you think you are you would wait to have s*x.........

But as for your mom telling you to have s*x @ 14...... She needs help

Answer 9

your mom should have never said that!

you should wait untill you find that someone. dont just have s*x just to say you have.  

Answer 10

Wow, he slapped you on the butt?  Sounds like he's a keeper! Seriously, judging you only from this diatribe, I would say you are several years away from being mature enough to handle a serious relationship.  And your mother is a fool is she wants you to risk std's and pregnancy in lieu of a good education.  JMHO.  Good Luck, sounds like you will need it.

Answer 11

honey I'm still a virgin and I'm 18. I'm waiting for the right one and when i can feel it in my heart and know its right. I've gotten the same thing about being more mature. (It will pay off) Someday you are going to end up in making a good decision instead of a bad one you'll regret because you can predict things in that sense. It doesn't matter what your friends think. One day they will ask you for adivce and they won't take it and make a bad one. Keep being smart. Oh by the way no one needs to know how innocent you are. (I can say i'm not completly innocent, I have done things.) But noone would think i would be so mature by my rocker exterior. Good luck!!!

Answer 12

If you are really smart, YOU WILL WAIT.  Your mom is being stupid by saying its ok at your age.  You are still a child.  Birth control is NOT 100% effective even when used as directed.  What would she say when you came home and told her you were pregnant?  She would definitely eat her words.  I was 16, and to this day I still wish I had waited until marriage.  Granted, I wouldn't have my daughter, whom I love so dearly, but life would have been ALOT less complicated.  Theres more to life than high school TRUST ME.  Boys as well.  My advice would be to at least wait until you are capable of raising a child in the event of an unplanned pregnancy.  Don't let anyone fool you into saying that using birth control and/or condoms will prevent pregnancy, because the ONLY way to prevent it is abstinence.  So seriously, I think you should at least wait until your 18.  My first time hurt, and it was no where near as fun as friends claimed it to be.  Its all hyped up at that age if you ask me.  Boys your age have no idea what they are doing anyway!

Answer 13

so you are just going to have s*x to loose your virginity?

its not worth it, wait until you meet someone you love.

Answer 14

HAVE s*x WHEN U GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP AND FALL INLOVE THERES 2 MANY RISKS STD AND BABYS I HAD s*x AT A OUNG AGE AND IT DID NOTHIN BUT MADE ME FEEL LIKE THATS ALL I WAS WORTH AND I THINK UR MOM IS SLOW LOL WTF IS WRONG WITH HER NO HONEY KEEP YA LEGZ CLOSED AND YA HEAD IN THE BOOKS  

Answer 15

it was about 6 years ago i was 14

yes it hurt and yes i regretted it

and it was the worst s*x ever!!!!

good luck =D

Answer 16

Please wait, you won't regret it.  

Answer 17

i was 16 and no it didnt hurt as bad as i thought it would but it did a little. i was very much in love with the guy. im now 19 years old and am married to the same guy.the is the onlt man iv ever been with. we have been married jost over a year and now have a new baby.i regret it because our honeymoon wasnt that great we had all ready had s*x befor so we just went out to eat every night got a movie and went to bed

Answer 18

I would wait. Don't do something just because you want to prove a point. Wait until you find someone you really care about. 14 is too young of an age to lose your virginity. Wait until your ready and it will be better than if you are not.

Answer 19

I thought I did not want to be a virgin anymore.  I wanted to be accepted by the other kids in high school.  So my first time was in the back seat of a car with a friend of mine.  It hurt a lot.  I bled all over the back seat.  It didn't make me more popular.  But I did get a reputation for being easy.  Then all the guys would come up to me and act like they liked me, but they didn't.  They only wanted me to do it with them.  They would tell me anything to get me to do it, then they would brag to their friends.  Everybody started looking down at me and talking behind my back.  I never got a real boyfriend all through high school. I regretted not waiting.  It was the worst decision I could ever have made.

Answer 20

lmao ok so s*x at 14 is a big fat NO! Im 18 and have a boyfriend who i love with all my heart but i dont even feel ready to and we've been dating for a long time. lmao and ah sorry but you said your moms a single parent? well shes stupid for telling you; you can because just cause your on the pill doesn't mean that you can't get pregnant....i guess she wants you to be a single mom too..

Answer 21

Ana, I have heard many, many people say that they wished that they HAD waited to have s*x, no matter how old they were.  I have NEVER heard anyone say that they were glad they started having s*x at an early age.

s*x is a deal-breaker -- once you start to have s*x in a relationship, the rest of the relationship development goes out the window, unless you have spent a loooong time establishing and growing the relationship. By a looong time, I mean MONTHS, if not years. Just jumping into s*x results in a relationship that is defined by s*x, which is a pitiful reason for a relationship -- I mean, you can't have s*x 24/7! At some point, you have to learn to like, enjoy and respect the person you are with.

The first time I had s*x, I was 18, and even then, I wish I had waited.  You NEVER forget the first person you had s*x with.  Even though I had known him for two years, and we dated for another 18 months after that, and I still remember him with fondness, there is a part of me that wishes I hadn't.  It didn't hurt -- it didn't really feel much of anything, because we were both so scared :-)