My mom told me to chat more with my coworkers and when I do, she doesn't like it?

Question

So I'm 17 and I just recently found a summer job. My mom always told me to start working and get some experience and she told me to chat with the other employees 'cause it's networking. Before I got the job, I either stayed at home all day or went shopping with my friends and ate dinner together. So then my mom told me to find a job and chat more with people and now after 3 days of work, I'm like best buds with all the other employees at work. All the employees are guys except for the receptionist and two of the guys are in their twenties. Then today one of the guys offered to drive me home. So overall, my day went well so I wanted to tell my mom about it. Then she began to tell me to be careful 'cause the guys are older than me and they might take advantage of me and stuff. And her facial expression tells me that she doesn't want me to be friends with them but the thing is, she was the one who told me to chat with the people at work.

Answer 1

Sounds like your mother is just being a mom.  Do be careful though with the older guys.

OK.  What I think your mother really meant about talking is that you need to communicate with others and socialize.  However, never get too close to your fellow employees.  I'm like that.  I don't want to get too close to my coworkers because if something goes wrong while I'm out with my coworkers, it stirs up stuff in the workplace too.

Answer 2

I know what your saying. My mother always assumes the worst or jumps to conclusions to quickly. I don't know what to tell but I can assure you you that your not the only one going through this, if that is any help.

Answer 3

She told you to be friendly and chat with your co-workers...not ride in a car with them.  You don't know these guys well enough to trust them alone in a car with you...just smarten up and listen to your mother.

Answer 4

Your mom is just worried for you and looking out for you.  That's what a good mom does.  Just reassure her you are just "networking" and you'll keep it all on a friendly basis.  You don't need to tell mom everything, filter what you tell your mom about work until she understands that you can handle yourself at this job.  And assure her that if any romances start budding, you'll invite the guy home first to meet her before you go out with him (don't tell her you go to lunch with these guys already).  Your mom knows you are still innocent and the guys at work may be wolves and sharks.  They do exist at work and you don't want to find out how a guy you thought was a nice guy can suddenly turn into a rapist.  Or one who misinterprets your friendiness as wanting to get more involved when you don't want to--then you'd have to hurt his feelings and tell him to stop and he might want to get revenge on you by saying bad things about you around the office, or mentioning to your supervisor how you flirted with him and lead him on falsely, etc.  The relationship between men and women at work is tricky and it would be so easy for an innocent young girl to say or do the wrong thing and ruin your reputation and/or get fired from your job.  The guys are full-time permanent employees so already have established records with the company; if it came between what he said and what you say went on, it may not go your way even though you are being honest.

Answer 5

Mothers have a HARD job!  Especially mothers who are dealing with culture shock in addition to motherhood.  When yours advised you, before you started your job, to make friends with your co-workers, she probably didn't envision a workplace full of young men just a little too old for you to date.  So now she seems to be saying the opposite, but I think she's really just trying to get you to strike the right balance--be friendly but not TOO friendly.

Answer 6

yes

Answer 7

Your mom means exactly that:  chat with them, not be friends with them.  It's very clear what she asked of you and you're taking it a step further than that.  And listen to your mom, she knows what she's talking about.  It's easy for a girl to think she's just friends with a guy, but guys don't see it that way for the most part.  They usually want the friendship to go further (whether they tell you this or not) and you could find yourself in a very difficult situation to get out of.  Once again, listen to your mother.  She knows what she's talking about.  She's not being overprotective, she's just taking care of her child.  And no matter what age you are, you are her child and she has the best interest for you at heart.

Answer 8

dating  co workers  IS a  bad  idea.  if  things  go  badly  then  you  have  a team  full  of  people  who  will  hear  about  it  and  either  call you  a sl*t  or  a  heartless  b*tch.

be  nice but  be  professional