My mom won't respect me as a parent?

Question

My mother refuses to stop criticizing me for my parenting abilities. I am a young mom (21) but I am married and no we didn't get married because I got pregnant. We had a huge fight because I don't trust my brother around my son because he is a drug user, and she says that I am spiteful and taking it out on him and she won't choose. Which is not what I asked her to do. I stopped calling her for 2 weeks, I would take her calls but not initiate any and it was so peaceful, and this is the 1st day back talking and already she has just ripped me a new one. Am I wrong to cut her out of my life and my sons because she won't stop hurting me?

Answer 1

You have to protect your son.  It sounds your mom is very hostile and you already said your brother does drugs.  Don't let them make you feel bad for making this decision.  Be strong!!!  You are being a wonderful mother to your son and don't let anyone tell you differently!

Good luck!

Answer 2

No you are not wrong. Drug use is a very serious thing. We almost lost a custody case because my husbands brother was a drug user and his daughter spent the night with him ONE time.  This is obviously a subject that you and your mother are not going to agree on, so I would just avoid it. She needs to be aware that she is not to take your son around your brother, but other than that I wouldn't bring it up.  

Answer 3

My mom was the same way... Until the day she died she was always ripping me one about my mother and grandmother skills...  What I learned over the years that my relationship with my mom was vital because even though she said tough things (mostly the WAY she said it) they were filled with love, concern and wisdom - so I decided to receive her advise without argument.  I chose to stop being critical of her delivery and glean the wisdom.  Life is too short and YOU WILL MISS HER when she's gone to take advantage of her crankiness and use it to your advantage.  Give her a kiss and a hug everytime you see her.

Answer 4

your first duty is to your son

the next time your mother rips you a new one tell her you are not making her chose but she must face the fact that your brother is a addict and you will not leave your son alone in his presence

Answer 5

Let her know in a kind way that she is a wonderful mother and has done her job with you wonderfully and you would like the opportunity to mother your own children as you don't want them to be confused about the roles you have in their lives. So it's okay to be your mother but you can handle being a mother to your own children

Answer 6

Well, you can ask this advice at Jamrie.com

People on the website, should be able to help you out.

I go on it all the time!

Answer 7

You have the right to protect your child the best way you know how. If you think your brother is a threat to your child, you have the right not to have him around him. Tell your mom she is welcome to see your son at your house, as long as she calls ahead of time and lets you know she is coming, and treats you right, or she is not welcome to come.   If she calls and starts to hassle you, politely tell her that you will not be talked to this way, and then hang up. If she continues to call then monitor your calls and don't answer when she calls. Your right in respecting yourself enough not to let even your mother talk badly to you. This will teach your child at an early age, that respect goes both ways. You sound like you are going to be a great Mom.  

Answer 8

just  talk  to somebody

Answer 9

No, sometimes we need to close doors. But leave it unlocked so you won't have to worry about loosing the key and so it will open again if the chance arises.

Answer 10

To your mom you are still young. My grandma still tells me stuff I already know. But the bigger concern is that she doesn't respect you as a parent. The baby is yours not your moms. If your son turns into some psycho (just an example) than poeple look back at the mom and dad...not grandma. So if she doesn't respect the way you raise your son she certainly isn't going to follow the rules you set. I wound't want my son around my brother or sister if they used drugs (have you seen internet videos where people let their kids use drugs) So that is understanable. If you want your son to know what love is than you need to keep him in a healthy environment. Just because your mother is family doesn't mean she's friendly. Don't bring your son around your mother until she promises to obey your orders as a parent. If she can not than atleast he has two loving parents and in this day in age that is more than enough to raise a child.