My mom won't stop judging me. What should I do?

Question

I like to expres myself in the way i dress. If I'm happy, I'll dress in bright colors, if I'm sad, I dress in dark colors. I recently grew very depressed over something, and i fell into the whole "emo" style. And even before i started dressing this way, i cut. My mom never really noticed until some of my friends moms mentioned it (thanks for noticing mom) and THEN started getting on my back about being depressed. Of course, she noticed how i like to express my feelings in the way i dress. Now, she won't let me wear eyeliner, skinny jeans black clouths or any of my "emo" things. Now, whenever she shes me cry or something, she says "I thought we FIXED that problem when i helped your dressing???" and it's getting annoying. It's not the way I dress, it's the way i feel on the inside. She thinks that by taking away my emo stuff, she can change me! What should i do?

Please dun be all "this is the classic emo question" or call me a poser..

Answer 1

AHHHH! i have the same problem.

these past 2 years, i have started wearing the "emo" style, cause i have just been... well, a lot of stuff has happened. and it makes me feel better, being all dark, it helps me cope. and yeah, i cut a few times, mom didnt notice, even when i had scars.

my mom got all mad when she realized what i was doing. she said that i used to be this "little ball of sunshine" and now im this "depressed black blob." (which i am not. im spunky and up beat if im in a good mood, which is often, i just love black.) she got all pissed cause i listened to MCR (still do ♥) and she was fed up with it all. said i couldnt wear black, i HAD to be happy, and i couldnt listen to MCR. i listened to that c**p for about a week.

then, i couldnt help it. i went back to my "old ways." and, of course, my mom got pissed. so i yelled. not really yelling, but i told her EVERYTHING. why i cut, why i liked MCR, why i was depressed, why i wore black, how it made me feel. i mean, my aunt died of cancer, half of my family has been diagnosed with it in the past year, and this is how i deal with it. it's who i am now, and no matter what she says can change me. she thought about it, and now shes tolerating it better.

so, what i would do, is talk to her, you may have already tried that, but listen. what you could do is tell her, "ok, you may not like this, but hear me out, and then after i explain everything if you still dont like it tell me why." and explain EVERYTHING to her. why, how, when. all that good stuff. just flat out tell her. yell if it makes you feel better. but you need to explain it, and if you are depressed for no reason, say that! and say i know at least one other girl (me ;) who has the same problem. LOTS of people go through that, it's normal for us teenagers.

i hope that helped. good luck (:

Answer 2

I think you need to tell your mom how you feel. If you have feelings of depression, dressing a certain way will not fix them. You need to talk with a professional person. Either a doctor or counselor. They can find out why you feel this way and help you deal with the feelings you have "inside". Please give your mom a chance. Sit her down and tell her that she needs to just listen instead of talking. Tell her you think you need professional help. There is nothing wrong with the way you dress, but it won't fix your problem. Good luck.  

Answer 3

im sorry to hear that your mom judges u like that and obviously what she is doing does not work and is pretty inconsiderate.  the only piece of advice that i could give would be to just sit down and talk with her.  Get your point out is important, but when talking to her just try to put yourself in her place and interpret it from that angle.  keep in mind that truly ur mother does love you and just wants the best for you, sometimes that is hard to see.  if all else fails talk to the counselor at your school and maybe the three of you could talk about it.

hope this helps

Answer 4

oh wow...i had about the same exact same problem..and the thing is dont get mad at your mom when she says that..its just that she doesnt know how to deal with what your going through and doesnt really know what to do about it....shes just really worried about you and at least be greatful that she cares..and just be like mom its not my clothes or this emo trend that makes me this way..and just tell her you need someone to talk to..and you yourself should confide in  someone..you feel comefortable..and oh dont cut yourself!!please!!we all have problems..i have problems...but i realized that cutting yourself doesnt solve anything or help you progress or anything..oh and shes not trying to chnage you..she just trying to make you happy..just really talkt o someone..that can help you with this....one day you'll just realize that maybe the things that depressed you werent so big or were able to be solved..and you'll gte ovr it..hey it happened to me...i spent most of my high school yrs being"emo"about things and eventually one i realized its not worth it and decided to move on..oh and just smile in front of your mom from at times...when your dressed  with "emo"clothes so she can realize that you can be ok and happy and still dress like that...[sorry for writing to much [= ]

Answer 5

yeah my mom's been like that recently ... for example my favorite black jacket which i usually wear when i'm gonna meet new people just got broken (well the zipper got broken) and my parents won't let me get another black one cuz they think that the jacket is why i'm anti-social which is sooo dumb ...

i think you should talk to her .. let her know that you're still yourself but you like to express yourself by what you wear ... it's not the clothes that are controlling your emotions .... you just show yourself by what you wear .... make sure she knows that when she takes away your stuff she's not making you any better ....

hope this helps !

good luck ! *hugs*