My mother always annoys me.?

Question

I am a 24 year old man, i have 2 children aged 4 and 2 and a half. I get my kids on a tuesday at 12 until a wed at 6 and a fri at 12 until sat 6. the problem is that i stay at my mums house when i have thet kids so my mum can help, but she is always wide thing to me whenever i make a decision regarding my kids eg. last nite i put them to bed, they were watching a film and then they asked for a drink after bout 30 mins, i said no as i am potty training my girl who is 2 and a half, my mother then made a song and dance about it. I want to no if i am being bad or am i right. And these kind of comments happen about at least 6 or 7 times when a have the kids, it really annoys me. And it is not just bout the kids she makes these comments its about everything. What do i do as it is getting me depressed. I have tried talking to her but it doesn't change anything. HELP ME.

Answer 1

In the end they are YOUR kids. All mothers think they know best. What you have to do is just sit down with her and say "Look, I realize I'm staying in your home, and I really appreciate everything that you help me out with, I really do. But they are, my children, and in the end I make the decisions"

I really think it's important that you do that. When they're older, if your mom always contradicts you, they're just going to go to her to get out of everything because they know you will fold and grama will let them do what they want. To make it work you both have to agree to let one person make the decisions, and BOTH of you have to stand by them. Kids KNOW when there is a weak link.

I think it was probably ok for your kid to have a drink, but she needs to know that if you say no, you mean it. If she tries to contradict you, or do what you said not to, change it back. Like if she said "Sure you kids can stay up for another movie" when you didn't want them to, then I would go turn the movie off, explain to your kids, that they should respect grama, but Daddy's decisions are final. Don't fight about it in front of them either. Take them to bed, discuss it afterwards.

It's either that, or if it comes down to it, don't stay at your mom's house. She might respect you more if you did that. Maybe she thinks you staying there for her help, means you think you aren't capable of taking care of them.

Answer 2

My mum was just as bad when i had my first!  she was very controllin but when my kids got older and started havin a mind of their own she soon stopped! just bring your kids up  your way, take no notice! good luck

Answer 3

You take them to your mother's house so she can help you take care of your kids, and that's what she thinks she's doing....helping you by giving you advice about how to care for them.  If you don't want to hear the comments, keep your kids at your own house and don't make your mother have to tend to them while you sit and hand out rules.  

Answer 4

are you divorced?

Answer 5

you know something i think its a granny thing...both my mum and mum in law did it with me...you really have to put a stop to it now or else you will end up with spoiled whinging kids..due to no fault of theirs..calmly remind your mum that these are your kids and you are raising them your way..i bet she didn;t like it if anyone tried to tell her to raise you..if that doesn't work is there anyone else who could talk to her for you..maybe she thinks she's helping...she should be proud that she's got a son who is actually bothering about how his kids are being raised and is taking an active roll in their lives..good luck and well done x

Answer 6

if u r potty training shouldnt u of given her the drink

so u can teach how to use the potty when she needs to go

Answer 7

Very calmly tell Mom that she raised you, and now you are raising yours. You appreciate her help, but to please not say things and go against you when you are taking care of the kids.  You may want to stop and listen to what she is trying to tell you, because she has been through it before. You don't have to do as she says, but you could at least listen and see if she has a valid point.  

Answer 8

I think she is jealous about the kids and try to give her the same service that you give on your kids.