My mother enables my drug attict sister?

Question

My sister is 25 years old and is severely addicted to heroin...my mother lets her stay in her house for free...even though about once a month we go through a week of my mom bitching because my sister steals or rips my parents off some how. Its like we just adopted her 7 month old baby and I pay out of my own pocket for her. It makes me so mad She is letting her have her cake and eat it to. She doesn't have to be a mother and can live and eat for free..she hasn't had a job in 5 years! My mom will not stop enabling the drug use....I'm so tired of this I love the baby but I can't watch them ruin her life. I mean my sister has never been left alone with her not even for 5 Min's , but still it makes me sick to see her holding the baby..I'm more of a mother than she is i take care of her when shes sick..or when shes just tired...i take her to the park I take her to the doctors to get pictures done shopping I bathe her My sister only is interested when she is being a good baby and is happy the min she is tired or needs a change my sister sneaks out the back door...wont even say goodbye..i don't live with my mom and the baby stay with my mom during the week because of my work schedule but i can't take it I don't know what to do I can't be around my sister i will end up going to jail for beating the living c**p out of her! I literally hate her and wouldn't care if I never saw her again. She is a loser and doesn't deserve to be called a mother...any one can make a baby doesnt make you a parent though!!! I am ready to cut off my whole family because it makes me nausiated to be around them for enabling her. I am loosing it over this. My fiancee doesn't even want to go to my parents house and I can't blame him! We both love the baby so much but don't want to be apart of how my family just lays back and accepts my sisters drug problem. The sad thing is that im 4 years younger than my sister and raising her child for her..I love the baby but I can't sit back like them..she should never have to see track marks on my 100 lb 5'4 sister and think thats my mom?? I can't afford child care so I can't take her by my self thats why im distraught and like I said im ready to walk away from them all I don't want to be associated with a junkie

Answer 1

Don't walk away from your family.  That baby NEEDS you.  Sounds to me, you are the only one with your head on straight..

Have you thought about asking your sister if you can adopt her baby?  That baby deserves a good life, and no matter how broke you are, you would do a MUCH better job then her mother is.  As far as child care, you apply for vouchers from the state.  I get daycare vouchers and only pay $32 a week for both my kids.  Something to think about...good luck.

Answer 2

Try to get your family to join Al anon.  They need to understand that they can be part of the problem.  If they won't go, I hope you will.  The link is below.

Answer 3

First, understand that your sister is an addict. So all the things you described are all part of the addiction.  Clearly it's a shame, It doesn't make it right, but somewhere in your sister she feels ashamed, so she uses to relieve that pain. It must be very hard on your family. It sounds like your mother feels in some ways it's her fault, so she puts up with her in hopes she will get better. This is called Co-Dependency and it will DESTROY your sister.

She needs a long term treatment program so she can work thru the issues that cause her to do Herion. The Hardest part is the first 3-months of sobriety. Once she gets thru the withdrawls, she may start feeling better and feel strong enough to do a little, and she will go right back. She needs at least a year of solid treatment to work thru her issues and understand her addiction.

Remember, its easy to point out all her flaws right now. The best thing your Family can do is tell her you love her but she needs help. So give her a suitecase and ask her to leave.

That's right,  Tell her in a calm firm voice " It is time for you to leave, We love you, but we are not going to put up with your addiction anymore, so please leave right now"  not tomarrow, not in a few hours,

Right Now.  

Don't give her money or any options. This may seem harsh but this is the REALITY she put herself in and she needs to be responsible for herself.  

She needs treatment and fast. But, let her make that decision you can't force that on her. She needs to want it on her own, otherwise she will make excuses. She probably will cry or get angry and yell, but just stay calm and view her as a person who is on drugs. Don't shame her or feed into her comments, So don't yell back. Just ask her to leave right away..

Your family needs to show her some REALITY.

This is the best thing you can do for her.  

Answer 4

So, because you are mad at sis and mom, you are willing to walk out on this child? Grow up! First, find a way that you can talk mom and sis into you adopting this child, THEN leave! You are this child's only hope, Once you adopt her, there is a lot of help out there for mom's with children. Don't intimidate, Don't act better than them, just take care of business...you know the saying....Stay close to your friends....Stay closer to your ENEMIES