My mother-in-law clearly hates me..I am having a baby in 3 month. I really dont want her part of my child...?

Question

but I know that wrong. There is no talking to her about how she treats me, I have tried that so many times and she just keeps faking it. She seems to really love her 1st grandchild after abusing him for 3 years. What can I do or what should I do. I have tried talking to my husband about it. He tells me to wait until the baby come and she will stop faking it. I just want to her have little contact with this new child as possible. She treats her grandchild now as if she is the mother because the birthmother is not in the picture and like I am not Sh*t. What can I do or sould I do, there is no talking to her, even my husband can not talk to her about this, we have tried on every visit.

Answer 1

Do you not want her in your child's life because you personally don't like her or get along with her or because you think that she is not a person who can bring anything valuable to your child's life? If it is because you personally don't get along with her, then it is a mean, selfish and spiteful thing to keep her from your child just to make things easier for you.

If she behaves in a way that you think will harm your child, emotionally or physically, then it is your responsibility as a mother to keep the child safe. If this means she can't be with him or her alone, then supervise their time together, or ask your husband to. If she is such a noxious personality that she can't be around the child at all, then keep her away. You should just focus on doing what is going to be the most beneficial for your baby, and you may not know what that is until after you see how she is with the child.

Answer 2

Well you dont technically have to let her see your baby as a grandparents she has no legal rights to the baby, and if you and your husband agree on distancing her from your child that might be the easiest route...Do what you think will be best for your baby, because honestly if you think you're just going to be setting your child up to try to make a grandma love it when there is no way she's capable of loving your child truly, then it isnt fair to your baby.  

Answer 3

Stop wasting your time on her. I do not have nothing at all to do with my inlaws any longer especially my MIL because she is nothing but a troublemaker.

I do not think i am a bad person for not wanting my son around her because all she does is lie, talks about everyone like a dog, starts fights, claims she knows it all, acts like the best grandma only when someone else is around...So i don't think my son needs to be around people like that.

My MIL did not see our son until he was 4 months old because all of her troublemaking even then i should have not let her seen him. She talks abotu me like a dog behide my back, last week we got into it and i cussed her out, my husband was sitting right there and said nothing because i had done nothing wrong, he got up and left right behide me and he has not talked to them since. He hated the way that they treated me and said he was done with them.

It is not worth the headache, hurt feelings and so on to just go around people like that thinking you are doing good by letting them have things to do with your kids.

I would not go around if that is all it is --is nonsense.

Answer 4

I'd tell her that if she can't treat you with respect she doesn't need to be a part of your baby's life. Tell her she doesn't have to think of you as anything else but she does have to know that this is your baby and you have the option to let her see the baby or not. If she still treats you that way then don't bring the baby around. Tell your husband that you have told her this and if she continues to treat you like c**p she cannot see the baby. Good luck and congrats with the baby!

I don't feel that you should let your personal feelings get in the way but if she thinks of you that way I'm sure she will be trying to find some way to fill your child's head with bad things about you. Not saying now but when the child is older. Some even go as far as trying to make you look like a bad mother to other people, maybe your husband or others in the family. Just don't let her get you stressed out because thats all she wants.

Answer 5

Talk to her. Say that you feel stress between you two and you'd like to work it out before the baby comes.

If things don't improve, then I think you should let the baby have some contact with her, but it's all your call. It is your baby first and foremost, not hers. But it's always good for the baby if the extended family can manage to get along harmoniously. So even if you have to do more of the work on this, it's worth a try.

Answer 6

First of all both of you should put aside your personal feelings for each other and think about the baby.  If she is good to the baby then you shouldn't cut her out of the baby's life because you don't like her or she doesn't like you.  However, she should also respect you and if it ever got to the point that she was downing you to you child, then I would take her time away.  Let her be around the baby and see what happens.  But a baby needs all the people that love them around them as much as possible.

Answer 7

All you can do is wait and see if there is any reason for keeping her from being in your childs life. If YOU dont like her, then no that is not a reason..that is being spiteful. If she however is in any way less than how she should be with your child, then take it from there..and you have every right to limit her contact. dont jump the gun though. You cant not let your child have relationships with his family because they arent nice to you.