My mother in law doesnt want us to find out the s*x, we do, what do I say?

Question

I am 18 weeks pregnant and I really want to know what the s*x of the baby is. My husband was a little optimistic about it at first but now he says we can find out and he is okay with it. However his mother completely insists that we don't find out. I got rude with her the other day because she was being rude about it, but I don't wanna argue with her! Its our baby!!

Answer 1

it's your baby, if you and your husband decide to find out do it, don't tell her then. she's making decisions for you about the baby now wait til after ughhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Answer 2

Just do what you want, you are the parents. If it was my mother in law, I would find out and then make an announcement at a Sunday dinner or something. You can always say, "We're naming the baby ----- ------" and everyone will know!

Answer 3

ah tell her its your pregnancy and not hers and it is your decision to know.  And look at the perks of finding out, you guys can get everything you need instead of going neutral.  Just don't tell her the s*x.

Answer 4

I don't understand why she thinks she has a say in that?. your the one that's pregnant not her it's your baby. you and your husband want to know so you go ahead and find out. good luck. and tell you mil to mind her business

Answer 5

you two find out and don't tell her. im 18 weeks pregnant too and i can't stand it when people stick their noses in and tell me what to do/not to do and then get arsey when you tell them no! stand your ground and tell her firmly if you don't this is just the beginning of battles!!

Answer 6

Its your baby. Do what you want. If you dont know, your baby shower will be harder because they have to be "boy/girl gifts" that either one can have. It wont be as much fun because if its a girl, it needs a girly room, not girl boy room. and vice versa for the boy. Go ahead and find out. She doesnt have to know until the baby shower!! =]]

Answer 7

Well i was dealing with this same issue at the begining of my pregnancy and now in four weeks im going to find out. But i told her i was going to. You have to take charge! For me not telling her just didn't feel right cuz why should you hide it from her? It's your baby and your decision. Out of respect i told her we would find out and if she changed her mind we would let her in on it. Do what feels best for you. Good luck.

Answer 8

Yup, it is your baby! If she doesn't want to know then don't tell her.  

Answer 9

Just find out, she is no one to tell you what to do....just go to the ultrasound appointment and find out and do not tell her...let her find out once the baby is born....I can't stand MIL's like that! These ladies are CRAZY!

Answer 10

um whos womb is it growing in? who goes to the doctors appoinments and whos going to have to go to god knows many hours of labour you will have to go through?

Answer 11

Find out what it is and don't tell her what it is. After all it IS your baby!

Answer 12

Your MIL is not the parent, tell her firmly but politely that you'll do as you wish.  

Answer 13

You tell her its none of her business if you find out or not!  If she doesnt want to know the gender, then don't tell her what you're having.  But she has no business telling you what to do here.

Good luck!

Answer 14

You find out what the baby is and don't tell her.  Eventually she'll figure it out when you start buying stuff, but honestly, it's not her decision to make!

Answer 15

It's your baby; find out what it is and don't tell her.

Answer 16

Your last sentence just answered your question. It's your baby. (Besides you don't want just green and yellow for your baby shower gifts. You may want to start decorating a room or deciding on names.) Good Luck. May God bless your baby.

Answer 17

as you said its your baby and you will be brining it up you make the discision with your husband, or do it and dont tell her.good luck.

Answer 18

Find out the s*x of the child if you want and don't tell her you know.  

Answer 19

It's not your mother in law's say whether you can find out the s*x of your baby. Do what you want! Good luck!

Answer 20

Well she doesn't need to know! Find out the s*x, and just don't tell her. Or, you could let it slip just to annoy her. It's not baby, and fair enough if she didn't want to know what s*x her children were, but it's not like you are a mini-her.

Good luck!

Answer 21

Exactly, it's your baby! Find out the s*x and don't tell her.  Stay strong now because if she is being insistent about this wait until the baby comes... you need to set limits early on!

Answer 22

Don't argue with her.  If YOU want to find out (and baby cooperates) then do so.  Don't tell her if she doesnt' want to know, and if she brings up the subject/gives you a hard time, change the subject.  It's not her decision or her business.

Answer 23

It is your baby and if you want to know, then find out. Who cares what she thinks over such a silly topic? The only person's opinion that would matter just as much as yours is your husbands. Since he is okay with it, your decision is made. If she doesn't want to know, then don't tell her when you find out at your upcoming ultrasound.  

Answer 24

It's not her baby so she can't be making the decisions for you!!  If you want to know then go for it, it'll be better to be able to buy pink/blue clothes and toys and you can start thinking of names.  I'd want to know the s*x too and wouldn't let anyone talk me out of it.  If they don't want to know then don't tell them  Your mother in law can stay in the dark too.

Answer 25

You are absolutely right that it is your baby.  If you and your husband completely agree about wanting to know the s*x of your baby, go for it. I am pretty sure your MIL's reaction is based on the fact that earlier generations never found out.  Talk to your hubby about it again, and if he is truly on board, do what you both deem best.

Answer 26

Like u said u are the parents and some moms are old fashioned and like to be surprised but more and more parents want to know the s*x of the baby to plan the nursery and clothes appropriatly... just tell your mom u will find out the babies s*x and u will not tell her so she can be surprised...she will get over this i promise... but she is old fashioned and they never knew what they were going to have till their little ones made their appearance in the world...  

Answer 27

She doesn't get a choice.  It isn't her baby.  You can find out and not tell her, but if you tell anyone besides you and your husband then she's bound to find out.  There is no need to be rude to her, but she is just going to have to accept that this is one decision that she doesn't get a say about.  She might as well get used to that now.  As you are raising your child, you will be making the decisions and not necessarily taking her advice.  She needs to realize that this is your child, and she does not get to make decisions regarding the baby.  Just tell her that you are not going to argue with her about it, it is your baby and you will do what you want to do.  If she does argue with you tell her that if she continues to argue with you about it you will likely limit her time with the baby because you refuse to argue with her about these things.

Answer 28

LOL.  I'm not laughing at you but at her.  First of all she isn't YOUR mother.  Second of all it's not HER child.  She can't control you.  If she doesn't want to know that's fine but she can't stop you from doing what you want.  As other people have suggested you can always find out and not tell her.  That way both sides get what they want.

Answer 29

Uh, let's see. You're carrying the baby, you're caring for the baby, IT'S YOUR CHILD.  Who the h**l cares what your mother in law says? Especially since both you and your husband want to know!  OMG this is so dumb.

Plain and simple.  Find out the s*x of the baby and don't tell anyone else.  How hard is that?  Yes, you may have to hide the fact that you're painting the baby's room blue and your buying all boy outfits but who cares? It's your life and your child d**n it.

My own mother wanted us to find out the s*x of the baby, and we certainly did not.  She refused to buy any clothes for the baby at the baby shower.  You know those uni-s*x outfits that everyone buys you.  Nope, she was having none of that.  However, she went clothes crazy when it was a girl and we got about 2 dozen outfits - no joke.  So that's probably why she wanted to know the s*x.  She loves to shop.

So I say, found out the s*x and let it be a surprise for everyone else.  If she doesn't come over very often then you'll have an easier time hiding things from her.  Or better yet, close the baby's room door shut and tell her it is a surprise for everyone to see until the baby is born.

Answer 30

Just have a really good reason as to why you want to know the s*x....I know obviously its your baby so if you wanna know then find out....she got to do what she wanted for hers now its your turn!  When ppl ask me why I wanna know the s*x I respond by saying that its mainly b/c I dont want all yellow stuff at my baby shower and I dont want a baby shower after I have the baby either...I want to get the nursery set and ready before I have the baby and I want to have time to wash all the clothes and stuff so I can rest after I have the baby and enjoy my time with the lil one before I go back to work/school!  You could also add that you have a ceratin theme for a boy and one picked for the girl and you wanna know which one to use and you wanna get the nursery painted before the baby so it doesnt smell like paint!

Answer 31

Your husband should stand up to her NOW!!  If she is being this nosey while your pregnant, then you can only imagine how she will be in your face after the baby is here.  She will want to wrap the baby her way, feed the baby her way.. "No thats not right.. here let me"  It will get worse!!  Mothers, and Mother in laws can be very pushy -they think you know nothing and they know everything. When in fact we already have the mothering instinct when the baby is born, you will automatically just know what to do without someone else tellign you. You will be the one who can read your baby better than anyone else, even better than your hubby.  

- I finally had to tell my parents, this is my child, I will raise him the way I WANT... you dont have to agree with me, but you have to deal with it.  You need to respect my wishes, or visits will be less frequent.  I need my son to know that I am the parent and I am the authority regardless of who is around.  I do not need your interference because it only confuses the baby.  You may offer your suggestions IF I ASK,,, but if I do not ask.. then please keep it to yourself.  You did not like your parents controlling you when you were parenting me, so stay out.

trust me If you dont take care of the situation now, it will get much worse when your baby is here!