My mother-in-law has been here the whole summer, helping out while

Question

Iam on bedrest...my husband and her gets into it everyday about how to raise his special needs son. How do I keep from pulling my hair out or telling her off. Keeps asking me why am I even having this baby,or making statements like: her son dont need to be there for the birth because his son is more important than this birth. At this point I dont want her around my new baby. She leaves on 8/20/08. Should I say something?

Answer 1

The more you say, the worse it's going to get.  I'd wait it out, since she's leaving in less than 2 weeks anyway.  I'm sorry you're dealing with this, but it sounds like your husband is supporting you.  That's really great.  Good luck honey.

Answer 2

Tell her it is time for her to go home.  Speak to your husband about how you feel and ask if it is really worth having her around when it causes so many arguments.  I'm sure all the arguing isn't good for his special needs son, or him, or you.  

Answer 3

what is she around for?  it sounds like the whole point of her being there is to take care of the kid and household duties.  so why is she itching about helping.

how dear she make you feel bad for having a baby.  no matter what the situation is, i think its wonderful for you to be having a baby.  

yes, i think you should say something. just don't say it in a moment of anger. wait till you are both calm and just say how you feel. if you let her get away with it this time,  you will have to put up with it everytime she visits

good luck

God only gives you what you can handle. so i think your husband and you can handle this without her.   u already have enough stress. she is there to take the stress off, not add more.

Answer 4

Your thoughts should be for your health and of your unborn child.  Your mother-in-law should be your husband's issue.  Talk to your husband and tell him how upset this situation is for you.  He should be the one to resolve the issue with his mother.  He should be advising her that her opinions need to be more positive around you and that if they're going to fight, it would be wise for them to take it outside of your hearing distance.  There is no sense to their arguing about things they are not resolving.

His special needs son will not take a back seat to your child with your husband by his attending the birth of this child.  He should be there with you.  Why is his mother there to help if all she is doing is finding fault with the way the two of you are raising him?

If her being there is really helping the family out, then biting your tongue and biding your time until she leaves might be the best way.  But it's been my experience that unresolved issues generally continue to rear their ugly heads until a compromise is reached.  It's your immediate family we're talking about, not her's.  Yes your husband is her child, but she raised him and now she needs to let him raise his family as you and he see fit, not her way.

Good luck on a healthy birth and ultimately a peaceful co-existance.