My mother in law has never and will never approve of me, when can I call it quits?

Question

My husband is in a wheelchair, he was electocuted when was 16, and lost both legs. We have been married x6 years. We have two beautiful boys and together have an American dream life. My mother in law refuses to acknowledge my prescence. He works for them in construction. He has told me she wouldn't like any woman that married him. He won't set her straight. I have talked to both of them about how I feel help

Answer 1

tell them both that you will no longer put up with their treatment of you.  either accept you or you can be on your way.  husband should stand up for you, mil should get to steppin.

Answer 2

Trust me he will never 'set her straight'. Best thing to do is fight fire with fire. Treat her like she treats you, cut off all contact with you, your children, and husband outside of work. Let her find out that it cuts both ways. If you pass in the store don't speak, don't have them over for anything - ever. When your husband starts to complain about it (and he will when momma finds out your serious ) inform him that his mother is the problem and she needs counseling. If nothing else it will force him to grow up and be a man. He also needs to find another job. Get tough, you will win in the end.

Answer 3

Realize that it is not his place to "set her straight."

She's crazy.

And crazy people do and say crazy things.

Let it go and love your husband and yourself.

Just kill her with kindness and be patient. She will not live forever.

Answer 4

A woman is never good for her son! That sucks because she doesn't want him to be happy! What can you do?  NOTHING!! Don't let her get the upper hand in your relationship, cause then she'll know that she has won the battle. Treat her the way she treats you, I promise she won't like it.  

Answer 5

Well i know that has to bug you, but in her defense as a mother myself I guess what her problem is is that he is disabled and she still feels like she has to take care of him.  You spoke with them and he really needs to tell mom to back off.  Remember she loves him as much as you love your boys and what if yours had an accident wouldn't you be more protective?  I know I would be, so just try to accept that.  I know she needs to give you a break but I would hang in there for your family.  If not suggest moving then he'll know your serious.

Answer 6

Kill her with kindness..... nothing annoys your enemies more...there is probably nothing you can do to change her attitude  so play along and beat her at her own game... you'll see a  look of confusion on her face in no time...works well and eventually when she realizes she can't get to you any longer maybe she'll come off her high horse...try it, ya never know what will happen

Answer 7

My motherinlaw is the exact same way.  In fact, me and my husband almost divorced last year over her.  I finally got to the point that I couldn't take her c**p anymore and when my husband saw that I was serious about leaving we went into marriage counseling.  Now his mother will have nothing to do with him or me or her grandson.  She wanted all or nothing.  Your husband is going to have to be the one to put her in her place and stand up for you.  If he doesn't, your life is going to be miserable.  We've been married for 19 years and I don't know why I put up with it for so long but I just woke up one morning last year and decided I could no longer take it.  His mother monopolized all his time.  He was never at home with me or his son.  Whenever his mother said jump he did.  My life was a really bad episode of Everybody Loves Raymond.  Only worse.  So, eventually your husband is going to have to have a talk with her.  If you want to discuss this some more just email me.  I hope everything works out for you.  I understand exactly the kinda h**l that you are going through.

Answer 8

She is just one of those mom's that will not be happy if she can't control her "children"....even after adulthood and marriage.  Don't associate with her unless it's absolutely necessary. Don't badmouth her in front of your children, though. There is no need to put them in the middle of the problem she has with you. I am sorry she treats you that way, but chances are she won't ever change...no matter how much your husband talks to her. =(

Answer 9

If you love your hubby and your kids then just ignore the MIL and don't go to see them and don't bring the kids around her if he isn't kind to you in front of them.  You shouldn't give up on your happiness and that of your kids because she doesn't like you.  Your hubby is telling you that she wouldn't like any woman so there is probably nothing he can do to make her be different.

Answer 10

h**l no. Sweetheart , it's her loss.

She's pissed because you took her baby away.

And you made him very happy.

What else matters?

Deal with it with dignity and pride.

Answer 11

You have been married to your husband for 6 years...You have tried to get your MIL to accept you and she hasn't....It isn't likely that she ever will.....As long as you and your husband are happy....don't dwell on trying to get her approval.....Your husband has already told you that she would never like any woman her chose to marry....so perhaps that is why he isn't wasting his breath in trying to convince her to approve of you...He should however tell her that while she is in your home...that she will respect you....

Answer 12

Well not every mother will like their sons other half. I was married before and my mother in law was a d**n psycho and always gave me c**p and cared not a bit what I had to say and she thought my boys were hers. I am divorced now so yea for me but it wasn't because of the mother in law. She didn't want me to marry him or any other girl except this one from like 12 years back and she was suppose to be the one...anyways back to the subject.. If you love your husband than fight for him, let her know your not going anywhere and you could care less whether she likes you or not. But on the other hand it sounds like you have a mommas boy and those are very hard to help because their mom comes before almost everything... You have t decide what you really want and if your tired of it then move and and see what happens. you deserve happiness but if its with your husband find a way to make it work even with the dumpy mother in law. I wish you luck.

Answer 13

If your husband won't stand up for you he is not a real man. If my mother did anything to my wife I would put her in her place. If you make the waters rocky enough every time you feel unwanted, I would think he wouldn't want to go through that every time his mother messes with you.

Answer 14

I have seen that before a few times. I bet if you were Miss. America she wouldn't like you. Some women think NO woman is good enough for their little angel.

If your husband is going to be a p***y about it, refuse to go where she is & refuse to acknowledge her in any way until you all have the showdown that needs to take place.

Answer 15

Get husband intop therpy with you there to nmake sure he values Your marriage over mommy and daddy. Perhaps he is afriad of losing the job. He;d find abother away from mommy and ddady's destrictuve attirudes.

Answer 16

Are you married to your mom-in-law or your husband? Calling it splits just bcoz his mom is indifferent towards you,is just so silly. You can maintain a safe distance from her and act in the same way as she does.You can tell your hus tht he may go and visit his mom whenever he wishes to or she may come hom and meet him.Just maintain a formal relationship with her . Am sure your hus wud understand as he seems to be a good guy.

Answer 17

Ignore the HAG! Quit her NOW! he cant set her straight, she is bent for life. you didnt marry her you married him so let her rott in her own misery and dont be pulled down by her c**p!