My mother in law is buying a walker for my daughter today. Is it ok to email her the dangers and info on them?

Question

I never speak with this woman. I tell my husband things he should discuss with her (but he never does). I recently discussed with my husband that I don't want my daughter using a walker. They can delay normal muscle control and mental development, children can roll down the stairs, get burned, reach higher things, and even with adult supervision babies can be hurt because you can't respond quick enough.

I never email my mother in law, and I try to get my husband to voice OUR concerns, but he said that "Since it's free, don't worry about it." Well I dont' care how much it costs her, I dont' want to use it. It was probably already purchased or it will be purchased tonight before she'll get the email. If I email her and ask her to return it, will I look terrible? I'm going to give her links and references. I'm my daughter's mother and I'm looking out for her best interest!

Answer 1

do you want you kid to be able to walk? Thats why they invent these things so kids can be able to develop at all. Im betting you even had a walker..chill out.

Answer 2

I would not use email that way. It's a bit rude. I understand how you feel from your other question and this one.

She hasn't given it to you yet. I would just wait and see if she brings it. When she does then you can tell her how you feel and your concerns. Let her take it back then. I think she will be very insulted and upset if you email her that information.

Put yourself in her shoes.

Answer 3

Maybe you can print them out and you both can go over all the info together....

Answer 4

It's time you talked to her.  She obviously wants to be a part of her grandchild's life and to do something nice for her.  

Before you talk to her, think of some gift that you would appreciate.  A gift card to a snazzy children's store nearby, or an educational toy set.

Then call her up and say, "I think it's very nice of you to offer her a gift and I want to say thank you.  I really appreciate it, but may I suggest these options instead?  (suggest them)  You see, I will not allow my daughter to use a walker, but I do want you to have a healthy and active part in her life."

If she asks "Why?", tell her that you've considered her options and are taking the best care of her that you can.  Don't criticize the walker.  She will just use your arguments against you.  Just keep saying, "I am doing the best I can for my child, and a walker is not part of that right now."

The operative word there is "my child."  Not hers.  If you show that you're willing to let her be a part of your child's life by giving a gift, but want the gift to be used and remembered by the child, then she should back down and give another gift.  

If she tries to derail you by criticising you, just say, "This phone call was about the gift you are offering to give.  We can discuss that another time."

It may be hard, but it might go to great lengths to soften her up if you stay calm no matter what she does.  

Get your hubby to promise to give you a foot massage afterward, or take a nice hot bath afterwards to relax.  

Good luck!

Answer 5

listen i'm with you in the walker thing. I'm not a mother yet but i'm a full time nanny so i'm pretty much up to date in all those sort of things. My charge's doctors told us not to use the walker because of the above mentioned reasons. I think you should call your mom in law and let her know your concern and tell her that you've emailed her some stuff that she can look over to better inform herself. I think she will appreciate the fact that you are involving her in the welfare of your child and i'm sure she is as concerned as you are about her well beign and will not take offense in you trying to protect your child in unnecessary harm.

Edit- to all those giving you negative comments about your parenting, i don't see how being concerned about your child's development and well being is making you a bad parent. i think it does just the opposite. I think it makes you a wonderful parent.

Answer 6

Ask her to get something else.

I have 6 kids and never had problem w/ them.

It's your child and your decision.

GOD BLESS

Answer 7

What are you going to do when she starts walking on her own?  She can fall down the stairs, reach higher things, get burned (I assume you mean by the stove, etc), and even with adult supervision she can get hurt (all while walking on her own).  They have these things you buy to "baby proof" your house, such  as baby gates for the stairs and to block off the kitchen...maybe you should invest money in some.

Answer 8

where the h**l did u hear that.....looks like u dont want ur baby to learn how to walk and u dont want to supervise in the meantime...u suk as a parent

Answer 9

You have bigger issues than the walker if you don't feel you can talk to your mother-in-law about issues concerning your daughter BUT that's not your question so in regards to the question since you stated you never email her than yes it would be rude to email her.  I would call her and tell her thanks for the offer but you don't want a walker and if she wants to still get something a _______ would be appreciated.  If calling her is really not an option than take the walker and go exchange it for what you want.

Answer 10

yes. cut her some slack. i think your issues are a little more deep rooted than a walker. and if you are supervising your child then what is the big deal? i didnt want my son to have one, but my father bought him one and he loved it. still walked at the age of one. are you going to leaave her in it all day? prob not. so dont worry about it delaying muscle development