My mother in law is stuck on one grandchild.

Question

I have a 2 year old daughter named Arianna and a 7 month old named zach. My mother in law sits there and always buys things for Arianna and nothing for zach, I have had so many fights with her before regarding my kids because she "knows it all" and I am somone who will not take advice unless i ask for it, give me some input.

Answer 1

This is simple - every gift she gives Arianna, you give it back. Tell her thank you but no thank you. We teach people how to treat us. So, you need to put your foot down. There is NO WAY that I'd ever let anyone treat my children as unequals. This is dangerous. And as they grow it will cause a serious RIFT between the kids. One will have high esteem and the other will feel like sh*t.

You tell her that YOUR rules for your home and your children are that we give everyone a gift OR no one gets a gift. Tell her that you appreciate the offer, but here it is back. Mail it back to her, send it back with a note.

This is easy to solve - once you FORBID the gifts into your home, then she'll stop. You are the father right? You and Your Wife are adults right? Not children right? Then ACT LIKE IT. You and your spouse (or baby mama) need to have a talk and get on the same page. Tell her that her mother will NOT bring another gift to Arianna without sometihng for Zach. You will NOT ALLOW IT EVER AGAIN. Tell her that it will find its way to the garbage or back to her home, but not in yours. Your mother-in-law doesn't respect you. So she plays you for a fool. You pay your own mortgage right? You wipe your own A** right? So, what's the problem. You are letting an old-bag cause friction in your home. Zach is too little now to feel hurt, but as he grows he will notice, so you nip this in the bud NOW. Show the know-it-all your A** to kiss. Tell your wife that you will NOT allow any child from your seed to be treated like a 2nd class citizen; Zach is JUST as much her grankid as Arianna and YOU will not allow him to be made 2nd class; he's not a slave or immigrant!

Your wife sounds like she's a push over. As a mother of a 3 month old, I'd kick my Mom's butt if she tried this. My Mom is very pushy, but I push hard as h**l back. Your wife needs to get a pair of balls and a backbone. My Mom might try this until I gave her gift back. It would cause a fight temporarily, but it would be worth it to make a point. If your wife can't man-up and get some balls, then YOU do it. You take the stand. THIS IS SO DANGEROUS in any household. Your mother-in-law may not think that Zach is attractive or as good or whatever. Who cares what she thinks. They are your children and you've got to stand up for him. He's an innocent, beautiful baby boy. Also, you don't want him to ask you when he's older 'why didn't you put grandma in her place, you don't love me either'. See Zach will start to believe that YOU weren't man enough to put grandma in her place.

Simply tell your mohter in law, that you have noticed that she brings Arianna something and that you find it nice and you appreciate it, but you've noticed that she doesn't give Zach anything. Give her a chance to explain why. THEN tell her the rules from NOW ON. And mean it. Tell her that any future gifts MUST come in two - as twins. When she buys for Arinna, then buy for Zach. If she says 'well, I can't afford it, then you say 'well, its best to keep all of your money and don't buy anything because Arianna cannot accept any more gifts without someting for Zach; say 'Arianna loves Zach and wouldn't want him slighted'. So, it's best you keep your gifts at the store! PERIOD. MAN UP! KICK THAT GRANDMA'S BUTT

Answer 2

When she come to he door and you see her with a package in her hand, ask if she has something for Zach.  If not, tell her to take the package back to her car before she comes in.

Remind her again that she cannot get one child something unless she gets both children something.  Stick to it.  Don't let her get away with it.

I am a grandmother.  Sometimes I buy for one grandchild.  My daughter has 5 children 2 are twins.  The oldest child had out grown his scotter so I bought him a new Razor two wheel scotter.  The one he had was handed down to his 3 year old brother.  The 5 year old girl picked up her brother's scotter and begin to ride it and she did a great job.  She came to me and said, she was big enough to have a two wheel scotter now also.  I got in my car and went and bought her a two wheel Razor scotter.

I try to buy for the child that has outgrown something and needs a larger one.  My 5 year old granddaughter is out growing her bicycle so I will need to go buy her a new bike.  The others do not need new bikes yet.

My grandchildren understand the reason one child may get something and the others don't.

It will come there time soon to get something new and I always won't let the little one have to take the hand me downs.  He deserves something new also.

I do not buy small toys, they all have enough toys.  As they get older and can play harder games, I will buy them a new game.  But it will be for the whole family.      

Answer 3

tell your mother in law that zach is her granddaughter, just like arianna.  

Answer 4

I knew a woman who had the same problem with her mother in law ; here what she did ;;;After the mother in law bought a toy for the one kid [her favorite ] and give it to her dearest ; the mother took away the toy from the kid and give it back to thee mother in law and said ;;;I told you ; it was equal or nothing so keep the toy ; and she left . The mother in law pout for a couple of weeks but got over it and the problem was solved . None of my business but why your wife     never warn her  mother ; that the treats are equal or its nothing