My mother is a control freak and easily manipulated?

Question

I left my home a week ago do to extreme physical abuse from my father, and I had acumulated over 10 months of grounding because he is extremely paranoid. If he suspected me of "lying" it was an automatic one month worth of grounding whether I was or wasn't.

I wanted to go see the kitten my friend just bought, but he decided it was a ploy to see a secret older boyfriend for s*x so I was beaten and grounded for a month.

I left, but I had to come back to go to the dentist and I stayed with the relative that lives nextdoor. I asked my mother when I could go out untill and she said "ten your father is getting suspisous cause you called" And I pointed out that if she wouldnt talk about it openly while he could hear he wouldnt be. And I complained that it just wasn't normal for someone almost eighteen to be made to come back during the summer at 10 pm. She freaked out, said she was comming to get me, and hung up. I called back once more saying she was being extremely unreasonable CONT

Answer 1

okay something bigger is going on here. if you are getting beat then you need to talk to someone. that isnt normal family behavior.

is seeing a kitten really worth it? lay low and assess your situation. if you are being abused you need to get help. is your mother being abused as well? you made her sound afraid of your dad.

you need to talk to someone.

Answer 2

hi, its your mom here.... and, you're grounded.

Answer 3

if ur dad is abusing u then u need to tell someone

Answer 4

I guess my question is why you are even asking your mother about a curfew if you don't live there anymore?  That should be the decision of the person who's home you are staying at.

Answer 5

I think your right, your out of her house so dont bother living by her rules, and what you described sure sounds abusive to me, although im no law expert, my advice dont let their manipulation and control destroy you anymore.

Answer 6

That's a horrible situation! I am so sorry. If it were me, I'd press charges, he'd go away for a long time even if you aren't living with him anymore.

Anyway, to your real question. NO do not listen to your mother or father. They're ridiculous. You don't live with them anymore, therefore they have no control over you. Why would you call her to ask her how late you can be out? Ask your aunt who is your gaurdian at this moment! I would completely ignore your parents for a while until they get the picture.

I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 7

I konw you haven't posted the rest of this yet, but if your father is beating you like this, you need to call the police. That's abuse and you need to get help for this (otherwise it will just keep going)...

NO. Your mother does not have the right to force you to submit to his punishments as they are clearly abusive.

Answer 8

uh im not so sure bout the "tell somebody". ur not even living in the house, so u konw what? f*** them. im serious man nobody has any right to EVER tell you what to do. ur the only one who knows whats best for you. so s***w ur parents man, theyre doing watever they do, but who cares, u shouldnt ever have to be affected by them. cut them out of ur life. push it. get radical about this, cause if ur resonable, thats obviously not going to work. like ... i dont really konw ur situation but come home watsed, prove his methods dont work. but above everything else, hold ur head high, and know that you are so much more then that. peace

Answer 9

honey i couldnt even finish reading this please contact someone go to a friends when you get a chance or grab a phone book there are plenty of hotlines in there that can help you get away from that man its not worth going thru the abuse thats not love

Answer 10

Well - you are not some little 13 year old. But, you are some little 17 year old.  I had a curfew until I was 18 - most of us do or did.  And I always respected my parents wishes even after I was 18.  Try going to your friends house earlier than 6pm - try noon.

Heres the thing:  Whenever I went out at night - my curfew was like 10 or 11.  My Mom would wake up at 3am to go to work.  You know what she did - she'd lay awake (tossing and turning) in bed until I got home.  So, she'd suffer and get only 3 or 4 hours of sleep just so that I could go play.  

There is nothing wrong with a 10pm curfew.  It sounds more than fair to me.