My mother said I beat my child?

Question

My mother's unstable. She's trying to have arguments with me and don't. She left a voice mail on my phone saying that I called her "old lady" which is a lie. Then another saying that I beat my child. I could not believe she said I beat my child. How to deal with such a horrible lie?

I'm a stay-at-home mom and go above and beyond for my child and he's my life and if I've done anything right it's parenting him. I've put so much pressure on myself to be a perfect mom. Now I have my mentally unstable mother saying I beat my child. I couldn't believe she'd say that and stoop so low. How to deal with this lie? Forgive and forget...how?

Answer 1

Does she have a significant other in her life? If so, you need to talk to that person and see how she is dealing with other areas of her life. As her daughter, you have a responsibility to make sure she is ok, up to a point.  After that, you have a bigger responsibility to your child, to keep him safe. Be careful! (And quit trying to be a perfect parent, there is no such thing, you will be doing your child a bigger favor by showing him how to deal with mistakes than by making him think you are perfect now, and finding out otherwise later!!)

Answer 2

I know she's your mother, but it may be time to cut ties until she gets help.  Its not healthy for you, and its definitely not healthy for your son (even if he's a baby) to witness your mother verbally abusing you.  

I have no idea what kind of relationship you have with her (was she always like this?  does she have any kind of a diagnosis?) - but if it were me, I'd just tell her straight out that you feel she needs help, and until she gets it, you and your son will not be seeing her.  Don't answer your phone if she calls and don't listen to her messages if they are continuing to be abusive.

Try not to beat yourself up.  You know you're a good mother.  Your mother is mentally ill.  Try not to take her personally.  YOu may even want to consider counselling yourself, if nothing else just to vent and gain coping mechanisms.

Good luck!!

Answer 3

well just pretend she never said that and move on if you know youre a great mother than no worrys

Answer 4

I think you only option is to have her put to sleep.. I know you love her but her better days are done and shes just in misery now..It wont be easy I was really sad when I had to do it. my mom kept chewing my shoes and poopin on the carpet

Answer 5

I'm very concerned that as mentally unstable as she is that she may call Child's Protective Services on you. They would take the child away first and then investigate. You would do well to be sure that someone who has some authority knows of the accusations that she's making so this won't happen. Talk with her doctor; let them know how she is acting. If she is married or you have siblings get together and get her into counseling. She may need to be on medication to balance her life. She sounds manic depressive to me.

Your first obligation is to your child so stay away from her until she gets the help she so desperately needs.

I wish you well with this.

Answer 6

Maybe forgive, no one can tell you not to or to forgive, its up to you, but never forget.

But honestly, i know she is your mother, but i'd cut all strings with her till she gets help. Don't have any contact with her. Your doing the best you can and you don't deserve the accusations.

I'd cut her out of your life, for now. Tell her till she gets help, she can't be a part of you or your childrens life.

Answer 7

You may have to limit how much contact you have with her.