My mothers is wrong but she turned it around on me to make herself feel better......HELP!

Question

My mother is an Alcoholic, she has been on the wagon though for a couple months. I realized tonight that she was acting funny so I approached her about it figuring that she had been drinking again. After asking her sooooo many times she finally admitted it. I went into my room so that I wouldnt get mad at her and I knew that in my room I could cool off and talk to her tomorrow morning. She came into my room after about 20 minutes and started accusing me of something I never did. And im not going to get into what she accused me of but I promise I NEVER did it. I got mad because she was just trying to find something to get the spot light off of her and put it on me I guess to make her feel better. We just got into this big fight and in the end she just told me that she dosnt believe that I didnt do what she accused me of. Im sooo hurt because it sould be about her and her drinking but now its turned into me trying to defend myself against a false accusation. I dont know how to handle this what should I do?

Answer 1

You need to get to a counselor or if your parents are seperated and your father is a nice guy, move to his house.

Answer 2

Oh sweetheart I feel for you. Im going through the same thing but only with my husband and he did the exact same thing to me last night in front of my mom. He tryed to make me look bad so to avoid the real problem. It hurt like crazy. So I can imagine how you feel and your just a child. He has been in and out of the hospital. I truly thought this was the last time since he almost lost his life, but he is still drinking. I learned something last night that I hope might help you.I cant force someone to do something they dont want to and trust me I tryed. Along the way I have been ran over and dragged through the dirt just trying to help someone I love. So my dear dont get in the car while your mom is driving because what will happen is every time you do you'll get into an accident. In other words dont let her beat you up because she is beating herself up. When you deal with your mother when she is like this well it is like standing infront of a speeding bus. So step aside live your life try to be happy . She has to hit rock bottom. Until she does she is going to run over everyone that trys to stop her or get in her way. Find family and friends to support you  through this horrrible time and instead of turning to your mother turn to them. Maybe one day soon your mom will feel the loss of not having you and want to do something about it. Im truly sorry I wish there was more that I can do to help. If you need someone to talk to feel free to email me. God bless you and your mother.

Answer 3

My god!

I swear all mothers are the same!(MENOPAUSE)

Jesus she accused me of stealing candies from my sister when she ate them!

Also booze Influenced....

I swear I'm going through the same stuff with my mom

Good Luck and I hope It doesn't get worse  

Answer 4

I'd let her cool off and I'd try to cool off too.  Tomorrow morning go up to her and tell her that you were falsely accused and you know it.  She doesn't have to believe you, but you'd rather she did.  Then I'd tell her that she has a drinking problem and needs help and you are there for her if she needs help, and you love her, all that good stuff.  But I'd cool off before anything.  good luck

Answer 5

You can get a wealth of information from this site:

http://www.al-anon.org/alateen.html

You might consider moving with a relative for a while.

She needs help and her drinking is making her aggressive.

You deserve to live in a healthy environment.

She will regret the way she is treating you one day, but until then....work on living a better life.

You deserve to be happy.

Best wishes

Answer 6

Honey, you know it is not your mother speaking but the alcohol unfortunately. Like you said, she is trying to get the spot light off of her and put it on you, very childish of her, yes, but that is her only way of masking the problem and making excuses for herself being this way. I used to have a friend who was in the same situation as you, only she was worse in that when she was a kid, her mother used to drive her back home from school being drunk and she would have crashed that car too many times if it wasn't for an angel watching over her. Try and take what she is saying with a bit of salt because as I said, it is really not her talking but her addiction and she most probably does not mean what she is accussing you of, but she just has to be right instead of being the one who is accused of. It seems like you are alone in this battle, do you not have someone else to fall back on in this time of need, a family relative, a friend? Your mother should be having a treatment because obviously without her realizing she is causing you great stress to see her wasting her health like this. In this case, you have to be the responsible one and make the decision about what is best for her and for you. You have to toughen up and get her to sober up but of course, you need some support in this from a friend/relative who cares.You cannot do this alone. It is hard and it might seem to her that you are punishing her or you hate her (she might really accuse you of that but again, she is not in the state to make correct judgement anyway) but you must not falter and always keep in mind that you are doing this for her own benefit.  

Answer 7

Tell her this: "Hey, mom! Why don't you get a life?! Stop saying I did this, when I did NOT even do this, and you are just trying to get the spotlight off of you! Do it again, I'll call the cops! Leave me alone!". YOU ARE WELCOME.

Answer 8

Just be upfront with your mom. Tell her that her accusation is unjustified and that she has a real drinking problem. Tell her that you love her and can help her get better if she wants to.