My mum's birthday is coming up. What do you think of this??

Question

You kept me safe for nine months in your belly,

You did all in your power so that I was born healthy,

It must’ve been tough to carry me all day,

But not once you complained or sighed in dismay,

I think…

When you first held me, your eyes filled with delight,

Well, for all I know, you shut them with all you might,

That would be mean, but what can I do?

You were the one, who always cleaned up my poo,

I think…

You taught me to walk, you taught me to read,

You stopped me from eating my very first bead,

You taught me to be kind, you taught me to be nice,

You were the one, who hushed all my cries,

I’m sure…

You sent me to school and made sure I learned much,

I learned history, the Brits, even the Dutch,

I learned geography, English, sociology too,

I aim to succeed, and it’s all for you.

Answer 1

woah thats really special, im sure shell love it,

your very talented and im sure your mum will be extremly proud of you

Answer 2

Your mom will love it and you have my applause and it brought tears to my eyes.  She will have tears of love and I thank you as a mom myself it made me cry and smile!!  Your mom did good.  My own son is many miles away and he sends me messages and your mom will love it.  My son works in California and I live in Alaska and your poem is precious across the miles and made many smiles!

Answer 3

It's cute, I guess, but those first two lines don't click at all.  I'd replace them.  Otherwise, I'm sure she'll like it.

Answer 4

She will absolutely love it. You have a great talent. I bet she is very proud of having such a poet. I loved it. The only thing that I did not like, were the two first sentences. That's just my opinion, though. Anyways, its A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.

Please check on my poems, I would appreciate your opinion. :)

Hopefully I helped!

Answer 5

its great! she'll love it forever. you might want to cut a verse or two out though, its a little long. and present it in a pretty way. handwrite it with a nice gel pen on colored paper. and decorate!

Answer 6

wow, dude... You're so talented...

Wish i could wrote like that... XD

Answer 7

Is this for real? Of course she'll love it! Not only because you wrote it, but it's clever and sweet! Good luck!

Answer 8

brilliant.

she'll love it mate =]

Answer 9

lol, i like it. especially the part about cleaning up your poo

Answer 10

i think she'll appreciate it. put it in a nice card with fancy borders and get her a small box of chocolates too, as a final touch

Answer 11

Thats so sweet. your mom is gonna love it.