My mum attempted suicide and I don't want to visit her in the hospital...?

Question

She has brain cancer and she is going to die in the next six months. I'm not really sure why she attempted to kill herself because now she's worse off than before. My step dad/minister said that I have to talk to her but I'm just really mad. Is it bad that I don't want to see her?

Answer 1

wats a mum  

Answer 2

I am so sorry.  

It's understandable that you are angry.  I think that if I were in your situation, I would be angry too and would be very confused.  I think that if I were in your situation, I would... even though it is going to be extremely hard and painful... go and talk with her.  

I can't imagine what you are going through.  Just know that I am very sorry for what you are going through.

Answer 3

It is not at all unusual or weird that you're angry with your mother - you have limited time with her and she tried to take that away from you. Suicide is very selfish, and it impacts the people around you. I think what you need to recognize is she probably doesn't want you and the other people she loves to see her deteriorate, she is probably very angry and depressed over her diagnosis and doesn't know how to deal with that.

You need to set aside the anger and try to understand where she is at right now. You will most likely really regret not seeing her. There is nothing to say you can't tell her exactly how angry you are, but you can be angry with someone and still love them and that is what she needs.

Answer 4

Just cool down and think about it. You are the only one who could talk sense into your mum. Let her know you care. Bring her on a holiday for her to be happy before she passes on. Stay strong

Answer 5

forget everthing n remmber one thing that. she need u this time. u have to be with her. understand her mental state. u make out her 6 month.so interesting n lively that she forget she have cancer. i m sorry i dont the level of cancer she have. but wht i want to say is that. she is not able to see her self dying daily. dont make her feel that. make her feel special yet not symphathic. i hope everythig will be fine.. i ll pray from god to cure her cancer

u play u part as her daughter.

daughters are mom best frnds

let her live her rest live with smile. :)

Answer 6

please do visit her

trust me,

your moms gonna die and you cannot replace your mom at all. without your mom, you would not be here at all. its your last chance and think about it this way. step into her shoes. would you be mad/sad that you couldnt see your daughter and tell her that you loved her? even if i never liked my mom at all, i would at least say thanks.

and later on, you might regret not seeing your mom and you cant undo history.

youre not bad that you dont want to see your mom, i would say maybe confuse?

i hope you make the right choice and take my advice. and im sure your mom would be glad to see someone she loved before she goes..

(unrelated)

listen to the song listen to your heart by DHT, its similar in your case, except its about relationship and not  family

Answer 7

Well number one: it is bad that your mom attempted suicide, and i would be mad if i were you too

and number 2: even though she did that she is your mom, and she doesn't have much time left. Forgive her and spend the last six months spending time together

Answer 8

Everyone copes differently! When you are ready to see your mom you should see her.

If you don't you might regret not seeing her when your older!

My uncle committed suicide in Oct 2006.  It is very hard to deal with I know! He attempted to do it about a year before that too.  

Answer 9

My guess is that she found out where she stood in life and wanted to get it over with and not drag it on.

I don't know the background in your family, but to know that your mother only has a few months left in her life, I would have to go and talk with her. There are things that people do during their lifetime, but when it's at the end everything needs to be put to the side and try to enjoy the final times that she will be here.

I hope that you can work something out and be able to talk with her before she passes away.

Answer 10

You need to go see her.  Believe me, when you're older and she's gone, you'll regret it if you don't.

I avoided going to see an uncle that was more like a grandfather to me because I was mad at him for giving up, he was always there for me as I grew up even more than my real grandfather was.  The day they called and told me he had maybe hours left at most, I was crushed.  I've spent a long time now hating myself for not going and making things right with him before he was gone.  

She probably was afraid of the pain and the medical bills she'd run up and wanted it to be over.  It could also be something that the cancer caused.  Sometimes things affecting the brain cause behavior that isn't typical of a person.  Don't punish her for something that may not have even been within her control.  Terminally ill people have a different thought process than normal people do sometimes.  She needs you now more than ever.

Don't waste the time you have left with her being angry.  Be angry after she's gone if you must.  Right now, share every precious moment you have left with her.  Be as loving and supportive of her as you can be.  Talk to other family members or friends or your minister about your anger and frustration.  Make as many pleasant memories as you can with her now.

And no, it's understandable that you don't want to see her, but you really need to get past that and go see her anyway.  

Answer 11

Yeah, it's bad. She needs you most now. You will not have a second chance. Now is not the time to punish her. She is not living her life for YOU but for HER. It is OK, that she is selfish about this. This is her time and not yours.

Don't s***w YOUR life up by being mad at your mother at this time.

Answer 12

I can understand why your ma wants to die.  Many who are terminally ill find comfort in choosing their time to go before they lose control.  Cancer treatments are also incredibly painful.  I understand why you are angry, but go and see your ma.  Spend as much time with her as possible and cherish it.  You only have one ma and her time is limited.  Anger is a burden to carry around and you don't want to spend the rest of your life regretting the fact you didn't go see her.  I wish you the best.  Make the right decision.  

Answer 13

Honestly, if I had brain cancer and had only six months, my husband were a minister, and my daughter didn't even care to see me in the hospital, I would have wanted to kill myself right away.  It is only understandable (and sad).  I think, in fact, she is quite brave for doing so.  Don't be so selfish, and try to show her you love her (if you do).