My mum called me 'a waste of space'?

Question

My mum asked me yesterday if I was free to babysit tonight and I said I wasn't. She asked tonight if 'I was here' and I said yes. She asked me earlier today if I was still babysitting and I said I wasn't. She said why and I said I had told her before I wasn't babysitting tonight. She says that she said 'are you in to sit (meaning babysitting)' and I know she said 'are you in tonight'. She then called me a waste of space. All my life my mum has verbally and emotionally abused and bullied my brother, my father and I. I've had such a c**p self esteem for all of my seventeen years and it's really doing my head in. My parents recently got divorced but we're waiting for the house to sell (obviously before we can move) but the housing market is really sloooooooow at the moment. It does my head in how she's constantly putting me down - she's called me a 'slag' before because I wasn't hungry for dinner, I've been called a '*****' since I was about five. Any supportive words please? =[

Answer 1

Your mom has problems and she needs some help. You are 17 so you are old enough to legally decide which parent you want to live with so my best advice would be to live with your dad.

Answer 2

thats mean  obliviously your mom don't give a monkeys just wish i could share my mom with ya u would love her to bits

Answer 3

Ouch! unfortunately its a lie that sticks and stones will break our bones but words can never hurt us. Words are very powerful and hurtful. Sorry to hear that the person who should be building you up most is unaware of how hurtful this is. No one is a waste of space. We are all unique and have a special purpose in being here.

Answer 4

She sounds horrible.

Tape record her so she can hear how awful she is.

Answer 5

I have known bunches of people with crappy childhoods, BUT the good news is that you can overcome and be a better person.  My mom wasn't the best, but when I look back and ask myself, "What did I learn from her?"  My answer is, "Not to be like her".  You will soon be eighteen and can leave the nest.

I just heard a testimony of a woman who had a horrible childhood of beatings and being pimped out by her father.  She has overcome, through her faith in Christ, and is now a lovely person.  

Don't let how you lived these 17 years dictate how you live the rest of your life.  Good things can and will come your way, just look for them and keep your head straight.

God Bless.

Answer 6

She is the waste of space hun, You just need to hold out until that house is sold and go live with your dad, That woman is gonna have a right slap in the face when you all leave her, She will realise what she has done.

I know exacly what it is like to be treated like c**p from a parent, But it was my dad. He disowned me after years of sh*t, After numerous atempts of getting in contact with him, I washed my hands of him, The best thing i could of done, Otherwise i would have been setting myself up for a life full of emotional abuse, I know its different when its your mum, But just leave her to be the horrible b*tch she is, It will all come back round to her when she has nobody and nothing.

Whatever she says & does to try and put you down, Just forget about it, Its not even worth listening to, If i was you id just smile or agree with her real nice, Will get on her ugly t its so much!

Answer 7

you should try talking to your mom. Never in your life do you or anybody else deserve to be put down like that. Verbal abuse can be just as hard and painful that physical abuse- sometimes more so. I dont know how old you are but I guess if your mom continues to do that I would try and stay away from her at all costs.

Your mom is probably doing it worse now because of the divorce. Divorce is hard on the whole family- not just the couple getting the divorce but the children too, and she needs to realize that. She should be helping you cope not making you feel worse about everything.

and you are NOT a waste of space- dont ever believe that.

I wish the best for you-

Answer 8

your not a waist of space ,she sounds like she is taking all her anger out on everyone else instead of facing her own faults she sounds like she is used to controlling everyone around her and because you are older she sees you as a threat to what ever her problem is,she will grow old alone but that is her doing and not your fault she needs help but only she can do it.but it might e a idea for you to move out or go to your dads and if you are having any confidence problems you can take to a counciler it can help

Answer 9

are you being asked to babysit your own child? thats part of the job description of being a mother

Answer 10

My mom is the same way....all you can really do is know that when you have children of your own you will be a better person (you already are) and you'll be a better parent. If she is depressed and bitter let her....she has her own issues to resolve and just needs someone to take it out on.

Answer 11

well if you are 17 in one year you can get the f**k outta there

at least she doesnt hit you....or does she

Answer 12

My mom is similar to yours in quite a few ways- you are wiser at 17 than I was though to realize it. It took me well into my adult-hood to figure out why my self-esteem was c**p when I was a teen and why I had suicidal thoughts.

Know this...You only have a few more years under her roof and her rule. Stay strong and true to yourself- you have tons and tons of years ahead of you where she will NOT be emotionally and verbally bashing you. You will have a family in the future and you owe it to them to stopt the cycle of abuse and I'll bet given the fact you are so in tune with this- you will stop it- you sound like a smart girl. When I was a teen I started a list called 'How not to parent like mine' and now at 34 years old I still have the list and work hard to not repeat the mistakes that my mother made.

Best of luck to you hon...you'll make it through. I promise.

Answer 13

take her outside and give her a good pasting

Answer 14

I know that when I was your age, the mantra "I can leave when I'm 18" was a constant reassurance to me.  Hopefully for you too.  I am a smidge confused about why you wouldn't babysit if you were to be in the house anyway, but I am sure I didn't get the whole story.  All I can say is that perhaps a sit-down talk calmly and rationally about how she hurts your feelings when she puts you down might help.  The key words are "CALMLY" and "RATIONALLY".  Yelling will only make things worse, but having an adult conversation about how you feel might help her realize that you are a human being with feelings too and that the names she uses probably without thinking actually hurt.  

I hope this helps somewhat, and hang in there.

Answer 15

talk your dad into getting full custody of you kids!

you are NOT a waste of space. she just needs to go change her tampon or something.

hold your head high and don't let her get to you!

Answer 16

She is abusing you, and she is transferring her own lousy feelings onto you.  This is not right for an adult to do to a child, but some adults cannot help themselves.  I am so sorry...

It helps you to see it for what it is -- her problem.  And while it hurts you, you DO know that you are not a bad person, right?  You are right not to babysit if you cannot AND to stick to your guns despite her pressure and her game-playing.

She needs help, whether or not she gets it.  And frankly, so do you, if you can get it.  Counseling would help you sort all this out faster.  It would help you deal with the self-esteem issues, be a better wife and mother someday, be a healthier adult in the future.  I think you have a lot to recover from.  But meantime, if you can live with your Dad once the house sells, try to do that, and lie low in the meantime.

The last thing I want to mention is your brother.  Assuming that is whom you would babysit, he may be suffering a lot, too, so if you can find a way to shield him from the abuse, try to as much as you can.  You will be rewarded with a healthier adult in the future when your brother grows up.  He undoubtedly feels awful, too.

Best of luck.  You will be much on my mind.

Answer 17

Dear GAWD whatsamatter with people.

She's wrong, has little self control and even less empathy & compassion.

Keep reminding yourself that when you're able to get out and support yourself you'll have more control over your life, your personal environment.  Also realize that your value isn't always apparent to those intent on judging or slinging blame.

Sounds like mum has a lot more on her mind than being the protector and guiding factor in her kid's lives (sorry), and isn't capable of being the role model you deserve.

But, you'll likely survive.

Promise yourself that you won't repeat her mistakes, her less-than-admirable example.  Seek out friends among folks who are better adjusted to life, people who enjoy you and your personality, and are free enough of low self esteem to be able to love you in a healthy way.

Just because she doesn't tell you that you're wonderful, loveable and valuable certainly doesn't mean it's so.  You'll just need to be open to hearing that from other sources.

Best wishes and HANG IN THERE, buddy.

Answer 18

An answer to your important question.

Please call with any problem, anytime:

Girls and Boys Town "National Hotline"

Phone: [phone]  (Toll Free)

Email: [e-mail]

Answer 19

i know exactly how you feel my parents tell me im good for nothing and all i do is waste their money. i know how it feels to be verbally abused but maybe youre just upset for now just think it over and dont make any rash decisions. you know youre more than a waste of space. usually when i disagree with my parents i just go stay at my friednds house until my mom misses me so much shes begging me to come back, and trust me i have little brothers and sisters too that need to be babysat and as soon as she really needs you to watch them she'll want you back. talk to your dad about it too, and if your brother is old enough to understand why dont you guys kinda form a pact. im sure she still lvoes you though. im sure youre a great person. not a waste of space.

Answer 20

YOU"RE SOOO NOT A WASTE OF SPACE!!!

your mum sounds like a horrible parent to have. No one deserves to be called those things!! I think ur mum has issues and it would be better for you to live with ur dad!! Try not to let the things she says, get to you to much (i know thats really hard coz it comes from ur mum, but its really important, i had to learn that through personal experience). Hang in there and keep in mind that it won't be long before ur out of there for good!!

Best of luck. Stay positive xx

Answer 21

Ignore your mum because she's full of p**p. Don't let words get you down. Even though they may be hurtful, you have to ask yourself if your really like that. You know who you are and what you're capable of and you can't let those words brings you down because they aren't true. You are worth something and more than what your mother is calling you. I know what you mean, I got called names all my life. But I put it all behind me and I kept myself motivated for my dreams. You should do the same. If you want we could talk I'd love to my email is [e-mail]

Answer 22

Miss Pollard - In My Opinion You Can't Be A Waste Of Space, Even If You Tried.

Through everything you have always been there for me. not once have you ever let me down.

Your simply amazing and one of the closest friends i have. So thank you Emma. Thank you for not being a waste of space :]

x*x

Answer 23

Heya

Yeah i got this alot too before i moved out (at 16) to live with my boyfriend. She called me a drop out , waste of space , not worth the air i breath , b***h , w***e lots more. If its too much then defo move out. She shouldntdo this too you. Its emotional bullying.Go to your dads =] x*x

Answer 24

i would say your mum has issues not you! you are a calm person i can tell but please everyone has worth even your mum  maybe if you can give yourself space she will come round  and see what a helpful and worthwhile person you are she has probably had hard times and its re bounded on you   try to be strong these words are 99percent of the time said in haste or frustration i hope you will resolve things soon

Answer 25

well the way she has treated you OBVIOUSLY affects you, but you're 17 now. you should have a serious talk with her and from what i read, she just gives you some lame excuse to contradict you

soooooo, ignore it, and just use your moving out soon as a motivation

you're almost 18, and if the house isnt sold by then, you can rent a room or something

Answer 26

leave home and go and live with your dad

Answer 27

Wow! She gave you some cruel words! I would suggest you contact a police if you are being verbally abused or maybe youshould contact a conseling center!