My mum found out I'm dating a black guy...HELP!?

Question

My mum isn't racist per sae but she doesn't believe in race mixing. She has a black friend who's married to a black guy but as I said dislikes mixing races.....she found out who I was dating (I tried to keep it secret for the 3 months we've been going out) and is quite angry.....she never used to have all these views on topics like these but now she's controlling and the such....she won't let me see him or call him and blocked me from downloading MSN Messenger onto my computer. She said she might even change my schools. He was my first kiss....boyfriend....I know it sounds corny dramatic but I miss him. By the way I'm 16 and a half....not that the half matters. What do I do? Should I give up? My mum really is nice aside from this........

Please! Any advice greatly appreciated. =[

Answer 1

In my experience, moms seem to know best.  When I was 16 my mom despised the girl I was dating (even though she wasn't black).  I honestly do believe that parents want whats best for their kids.  If I were you, I would just try talking to your mom and reasoning with her.  Maybe the issue isn't that he's black, but that you kept it from her?  Sounds like a tough issue for you to be dealing with!  

Answer 2

I'm an adult, and adults aren't supposed to get angry.

Act in love with him all the time despite your mom...eventually your mom will back down. Just trust me on this. Your mom wants to break you to alleviate her own selfish worries, instead of having faith in you to make the right decisions. Your mom's tough act is just a front for her weak will.

Your mom's not a bad person, but she's letting stress do the thinking for her. See what happens is when people get hurt, if they don't know how to cope with it, they end up letting their stress run wild. Life becomes a cycle of preventing anything that might cause fear or anger.

And many of us learned the hard way what effect our stress has on our loved ones. So don't give up. Your mom needs you to guide her in a new life direction, one that involves believing in others. No marriage lasts without that kind of trust.

Good luck and best wishes :)

Answer 3

whatever she says, if she doesnt believe in "race mixing", she is a racist.

Answer 4

well i wouldn't care what my mom thinks and find away around the messenger thing.

Answer 5

Emilia, if your mom is always cool beside of this, I think you should pay attention to what she says. Might it be that she has something against your guy and is using the color thing as an excuse? You should talk to her and if possible, let her get to know your guy. Maybe if she spents some time with him she´ll calm down. If she truly believes that races shouldn´t mix, unfortunately she might have some issues...  

Answer 6

do what your mom wants and if you want to date him later when you live out on your own then its your life and you can do what you want to do life is very hard for mixed couples I have no objection to it but society really is hard on these couples  

Answer 7

DONT GIVE UP!!

i know exactly how you feel when i met a white-british man and dated him.

my father was furious. just keep convincing her that he's a good guy and they'll eventually grow on.  

Answer 8

No offense or anything b/c i wouldn't want someone talking about my mom but her beliefs are racist

I mean you two need to sit down and talk

We can't change your mom's opinion, but you're her daughter

You have so much more influence than we do, so go talk to her

like NOW lol

Nuff said