My mum won't let me stay the night at my boyfriend's house? ?

Question

I keep on asking my mum to let me spend the night at my boyfriend's. We've been going out for a couple of months and we're both 15. He's got a free house this weekend so we were going to use one of the nights to, you know, do it. It will be my first time but not his. Before anyone gives me a massive lecture about s*x and how 15 is way too young, DON'T, cause i've already had that from my older sister and I know that i'm doing it for the right reasons i.e because I love him and feel 100% ready, NOT because i just want to 'lose it' to feel more mature or because all my friends have done it. The thing is, I don't know how to talk to my mum about this. She said to me, 'What's the point in staying over at his for no reason?' I thought she might of guessed that we wanted to have s*x, but I don't think she has, either that or she's trying to pretend that she doesn't know the real reason. The first time asked her, when me and my bf had just been going out for a few weeks, she said no, understandably. But she said that maybe the next time I asked her she would let me. Well, i've asked her a numerous amount of times with still no luck! The reason? 'I don't know him well enough'. She's met him a few times, but only a quick 'hi ' and small talk if she bumps into him while he's at my house. I think the whole 'meet the parents' with a sit down dinner is for really, really serious relationships when you're older and planning on marrying them, don't you? So, how do I talk to her about me and bf planning to have s*x? I mean, I think his house, with no parents, is a far better place to lose your virginity than in an alleyway or car. Who knows when his house will next be free? Mine house is never free, so we can't do it there. I KNOW she will think that 15 is too young, and she'll be shocked and angry. How do I explain to her that i'm going to do it for the right reasons, and that i'm mature enough? She goes on about how im nearly an adult, so why the h**l doesn't she treat me like one? Bloody h**l, i need advice and I need it quick!!!

Answer 1

While reading your question all i could think about was how I was just like you when I was your age. I lost my virginity in my first year of high school.  I was 14 years old. I thought I loved this guy. I seriously did. I could see us getting married and such (Stupid and crazy to even think about that). I was crazy over him! He wasn't a virgin and he was 16 at the time but I was a virgin. I still regret the night I had s*x with him.  At the time it was fun and exciting. Experiencing something new with someone I "loved". But now that I'm older (now 19) I look back at the moment and ask myself how stupid could I have been? I question the lack of respect I had for myself. I thought I was ready, but I wasn't. I thought I could handle anything that came along, but now I know that I wouldn't have been able to. Your mother I right for saying no to you. And trust me, she knows why you want to go to his house for. She has gone through the same things you have when she was younger. Please, do wait for s*x. You may think you may love him now, and heck, you might be right, I wouldn't know. But your only 15 and have so much ahead of yourself. Trust me when I say if you get pregnant or worst, HIV or an STD that you have to live with for ever, you very well might regret staying at his house that night or having s*x at an early age. You have so much life to live still. So much to see. So much to do. Just give yourself some time to grow and learn and actually be READY for s*x and the things that come with it. Trust me, it will be better when your older. A boy at 15 hasn't grown that much and doesn't really have much to offer you when it comes to s*x.

Please do keep this into consideration. And what ever you do decide on doing, I wish you the best of luck.  

Answer 2

haha are you stupid?

if you think a "meet the parents" is for "really, really serious relationships" and you "love him and feel 100% ready", then you need to get your priorities straight. doesn't that fact it's not his first time tell you anything??

Answer 3

You need to calm your hormones down. If you love him, and he loves you, then you guys will both be willing to wait a few more years to do this. Why do you need to show him that you love him by having s*x with him? I agree with your mom. No way in h**l am I ever gonna let my 15 year old daughter spend the night at a guy's house.

Answer 4

I am so glad the kiddos will be back and school soon.

Answer 5

i wish i knew your mother so i can show her this. your crazy and dumb for thinking your mother would allow you to spend a night with him. and if she does decide to allow you, will then your mother doesn't care about you.

Answer 6

tell her your going to your girlfriends house for the night,

then somehow get over to his house. :)

Answer 7

Ok you don't want it but here it is... you might love him but it's only been a few months so you can't really know him. You think your 100% ready, but being ready means that you don't have to ask your Mom's permission, or find "a place".  Are you 100% ready for an STD ?  or a child ?  Granted those things might not happen the first time, but then again sometimes they do.  Is he 100% ready to support you if you do get pregnant.

These are the questions that a mature female who is really ready to have s*x thinks about, not "the house is alone how can I convince mum".

when you said this:

I think the whole 'meet the parents' with a sit down dinner is for really, really serious relationships when you're older and planning on marrying them, don't you?

It shows how not ready you are, if this relationship is not really really serious enough for marriage, how can it be serious enough for s*x?  Are you and your body worth so little that you will give them to some guy who you have known for "a couple of months" and whom you have no future with, to be honest you should make sure you get the money up front instead of hoping you get it later when you have a child to support.

Sorry I was 15 once and no one wants to hear things like this.  but your not ready.

Answer 8

Well i lost my virginity the month before i turned 16, and i dont regret it, but my parents flipped out. Completely. You may feel ready, but they arent ready for you to be doing that. Then theres all the dangers and stuff like that.

But ive learned over the last few years that the more you are open with your parents, the better if will be for you both.

I dont disagree with your mom, you probably shouldn't be spending the night with your boyfriend.

I finally was able to spend the night with my man after we were going out for a year or so, and I'm 18, and she loves my boyfriend.

So your mom isnt completely irrational, and in fact i agree with her.

Answer 9

Too young

Answer 10

Girl you've got plenty of time to think about s*x...you're still young, so live it up! It only takes one time to get pregnant, even if you are using protection. I'm a mother myself now, a young mother at that [I'm 18] so I know now what my parents went through worrying about me. Your mom is only looking out for you, not trying to control you or keep you locked away for the rest of your life. You'll know when the time is right. I lost my V when I was 14 to a LOSER I thought I loved, now I regret it. So just take your time and find that special person =]