My mums choosing her abusive boyfriend over her own children.?

Question

my mum has been with this guy for 10 years and hes bin my 'step dad' since i was 7, but he has beat her up for most of those 10 years. shes been to hospital twice because of him, he hit her when she was pregnant and ive seen it all.

the thing is she has recently told him to leave and get his drug additction and apparently he has an illness because of his anger. i think it is a load of c**p to be honest.

hes been living with his brother for about a week and now my mum has told him they will get back together, after me and brother have said we never want to see him again.

ive told my mum im not living at home is he comes home yet she still says hes changed and still loves him.

im soooooooo mad with her she the stupidiss erson on this earth for getting back with him i cant believe it.

she thinks im being silly and that ill see him change like she has. enough is enough i dont want to see him.

Answer 1

She's scared of him and needs someone to help her escape, if it's that bad tell the police please!

Answer 2

Wow, I am really sorry to hear that. Sounds like a mess!!

usually battered women always take the man back because that is all they know. If you have tried talking to her about it and she will not budge, then I say move out! Unfortunately it's her house, so she will do as she pleases.

Answer 3

i'm sorry to hear that your mom is choosing her abusive boyfriend over you and your brother.  she is blinded by "love" and most likely by fear.  she needs to get counseling to realize that this is not a healthy relationship.  can you and your brother stay with a trusted adult or family other than you mom?  you may need to get someone else (trusted family member or another adult) to explain to your mom what she's doing to you and your brother and to herself.  she may need to go into a shelter for a while.

Answer 4

Problem with abusers is, they've always changed until you let them back into your life. Just as you get comfortable again and everything is good, WHAM! they knock you on your butt. Makes you sink lower and lower, every time they knock you back down. It can happen to the best of us, abusers are the best manipulators.

You and your siblings need to stick together and calmly keep reminding her that she is choosing some piece of c**p man over her own flesh n blood. Don't be combative with her, but empathize and constantly remind her who she is and who needs her...She's a mother and her children need her...more than anything in the world. She is the most important figure in her children's lives and by her living this way, she is setting an example and teaching her babies that living like this ok. Does she ever want to see you or any of her children living this way?

Answer 5

here is a number to call ,[steve     wilkos    show] talk to kim about your mom and here is the number [ 1 877,836.3402],they will listen.

Answer 6

You're right. She's wrong. Next time he hits her, call the police.

If he hits you, call the police and press charges.

Answer 7

So from my calculation you are about 17?

I hate to say this but there is not much you can do about your mom being stuck in this circle of abuse.

I would recommend that you try to notify the police whenever the abuse takes place, if possible. You don't want to get caught because it is probably your mom who will suffer for it.

When this happened with me I did end up leaving home at 17.

It sucks that you have to leave your own home cause some dude likes to beat women.

I started working out and eventually I was bigger than my stepfather. He stopped abusing her then.

Lucky for him.

Answer 8

all i can say about this is that love is blind.

Answer 9

yhu should jus tell the cops or somethinq or its better 2 move out =]

Answer 10

Sounds like your Mom needs a reality-check and a lot of help, but honey I don't think it will be you or your brother that will be the one to help her.  She has chosen not listen to you. Silly woman, it is obvious, she is the silly one and you the smart one.  Please ask someone, an adult that you know that is trust-worthy to talk to her.  Tell them all that you have told here, how this man, your mom's b/f is abusive and how you and your brother have decided not to live at home if he comes back ..If worst comes to worst, find a home with a relative or grandparent til you can get on your own.. Good Luck.

Answer 11

mabey shes too scared to telll the truth...install a camera and give it to the police....he can get arrested

Answer 12

wow, i hope you stick to your guns, do you have a relative you can move in....i would call cps, if he comes back..how old are you?  he wont change....and he will probably end up beating her to death..how sad for her, and you and your brother, talk to a school counselor about this situation, and they can point you in the right direction...

Answer 13

not is one week or ever will this piece of trash change.  If your mum is stupid enough to give him another chance, then if I were you, I would leave the house.  If she has any young children in the house with this piece of garbage, I would call child welfare to protect the children who cannot protect themselves.  If he is beating your mum it is only a matter of time before he starts beating the young children in the home and he might beat one of them to death.  

Answer 14

this happens all the time, which is a really sad thing to say. but majority of people in abusive relationships are completely oblivious to what's going on around them, and they won't realize it until they're forced out of the situation. (it happened to me too). if you're looking for advice, I suggest telling a close relative of yours about the situation such as an aunt, or cousin. If you don't have anyone close to you in your family who can help you in any way then talk to a guidance counselor, a friends parents or even notify the authorities. As terrible as they may sound, it's a lot better if you help your mom get away from that jerk as quickly as possible. one day he might just get bored of hurting her and go after you.... if you need any more advice, or just someone to talk to you can e-mail me anytime