My neice is self abusing - Help!?

Question

My neice is a beautiful girl, very smart, and overweight. She has a real problem with her body, and say she hates herself. Today, she called me crying. She said to me that she felt her emotions go totally out of control, and started hitting and punching herself. She said she ripped her own hair out by some roots and pinched herself and cut herself with scissors. When I asked her why she said she hated herself, and that she wishes she were dead. I have never witnessed my neice being violent with herself and others. When I talked to her parents, they said "Ignore it, it's just a phase"!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

dont ignore it!!!!!!!!!!!

you said shes overweight then she probably feeling bad about her body maybe someone made her feel bad or its just our society today.. you have to be skinny... =\

be there for talk to her and make her feel good abput her body and herself and dont give up!! she needs you she maybe needs attention and thats why she called you

just br there for her!

Answer 2

how silly of them to ignore this , yes there are many phases that young people go through but this could develop into something serisous.

i mean , most young teenagers dont like their appearance but they do not cut themselves or rip their hair out.. i reccomend you take the first step as she is calling out to you coz her parents wont listen and get her some medical help

Answer 3

Anti- anxiety medicines. They help alot.

and therapy.

lots of therapy.

Answer 4

Key phrase is, "She said".  You never witnessed this, most likely a cry for help.

Spend some time with her and do some activities.

Answer 5

in my personal opinion, you may want to actually look into it, because it could be getting really severe and you dont want anything to happen to your niece try to see what you can do....but dont let it get to out of hand...

I know because i was in the same position as your niece ...my parents got me help n i am better now...but really its not something to play games with...trust me

Answer 6

Dont ignore a situiation like this. You need to take her to get some proffesional help. Try calling your doctor. They might tell you to take her to a Mental hospital. That might be a great place for her. You sit around in a group full of other teens and pre-teens and talk about your problems with cutting and suicidal thoughts. It could really do some good. So try to find one online or something.

Hope i helped, good luck. :]

Answer 7

okay well number one her parents are being extremely ignorant. apparently there daughter is depressed. and is endangering herself. you need to get it through there think heads there daughter might have a problem, she might really hurt herself. suicide even.

Answer 8

definately dont ignore it cause it will probally get worse talk to her face to face and then get her some help

Answer 9

Call the kids help phone..

get therapy..

but do something fast.

Before she does anything she will regret.

Answer 10

i sure hope her parents wake up!

this is a serious issue!

wow!

Answer 11

You need to defer to the parents when they say it's just a phase. Sometimes teenage girls are overdramatic.

Answer 12

Don't ignore it! Are these people CRAZY? She could die! You seriously have to get her to therapy. If you dont have control over if she goes or not, let someone know who can. Just get her help, As soon as you can.

Answer 13

you are not the kids parent. its not your job or responsibility to help. her parents live with her and see much more of her than you so they know ALL the circumstances of her behavior. if you interfere you will only cause problems in your family. how would you feel if someone tried to replace you as a parent even for a minute?

if you feel the parents are abusing her or if she is in immediate physical danger then step in. otherwise mind your own business.

Answer 14

Offer to take her to a counselor...and a weekend away from the parental units in denial.  She needs someone to talk to and you have been chosen as that person.  Feel good that she reached out to you.  It is hard to be an adolecent these day and they need all the suppor they can get.  Do a girls weekend..and get her smiling....

Answer 15

First of all, You need to take immediate action on this issue. Your neice is reaching out to you. for help. You are taking the right steps. I am a 24 year old female, who at the same age, did the same things, when no one recognized my cry out for help, I tried committing suicide twice. What she is going through is common but needs to be addressed. Her parents however, need to be addressed also. If your neice God forbid continued on this path and made her wish come true, they would never forgive themselves. Maybe start by taking her to get a makeover. Something to make her feel good. A haircut and change of coloring is a major confidence boost to a young female. Try to encourage her to excercise, even offer to do it with her. Obviously you are concerned and her parents need a real wake up call. That is neglectful and absolutley ridiculous. Your neice is lucky to have you. HELP HER. I am lucky someone helped me when they did, or i wouldn't be available to answer your question today. this is not a matter that should be taken lightly.  

Answer 16

GO AND SEE HER. MAYBE CONTACT A PHYCITRIS.. X GOOD LUCK  

Answer 17

its not a phase... my friend as the same promblem and so does my friends' brother... she needs help...

Answer 18

The important point is your niece is the only one who represents herself in this world and she should think she is unique and nobody looks like the way she does. Did you tell her that?

Tell her beauty is not appearance. You can be the most beautiful person in the world but everybody hates you because of their bad behavior. Example: Take a look at how Britney became famous and now how everybody hates her now. She is pretty right? But who cares??? She wishes she weren,t beauty but she wouldn,t become what she is right now.

Answer 19

get her help...do it quick.

Answer 20

this means that your niece needs to seek help.

Answer 21

Well the truth is, that it is just a phase.  However, helping her survive this phase is pretty important, and how she's treated during this phase also makes a big difference in how she exits the phase.

Probably need to get her some "help" because when you're depressed you just need to talk to someone.  If everyone ignores cases like hers they just end up getting more and more extreme, and when the phase ends they may have been permanently scared.  

When people say actions like those are a cry for help, they aren't saying it's a conscious cry, but that the individual needs some sort of attention whether they think so or not.  Talk to her if you're worried, but most importantly talk some sense into the parents cause ignoring her depression is a seriously neglectful and irresponsible act.  

Many people might approach that girl saying, "oh it's just a phase, I went through it and survived, so they should be able to as well."  Well guess what, the chances are when they were younger, if they truly were as extreme, they probably did get the help, but just didn't realize it because they perceived it at the time as uselessness.  Even if they truly, and objectively, didn't get the help, maybe a few Gems in the rough might survive a "phase" like that unscathed, but it's not something you should gamble with.  This is the developmental period in someone's life, and how it's experienced will very seriously impact the individual.

Best of luck to you, and I hope her parents stop being so ignorant.

Answer 22

1. ask her y she hates her self

2. do everthing u can to help her

3. like if she doesnt like being over weight help her loose weight

                                          hope i helped!

Answer 23

Its not a phase that girl is vulnerable to gain so many mental illnesses like anorexia &schizophrenia & who knows what! Help that girl! Shes calling to  you for help!

Answer 24

Depending on your niece's age she could be exaggerating a bit about the self abuse just for dramatic effect not to say she doesn't need help but in a way telling you is a cry for help.

I don't know what you can do about it though not being the guardian.

but just offer to take he to the movies go to the mall or just go to the park and sit and talk she obviously need some self esteem boost. Reminder her how beautiful she is. If her weight bothers Her (not anyone else) encourage her to eat right and work out also I know with me weight was always a struggle no matter what i did and then I was diagnosed with Insulin resistance It's not diabetes but has the same sort of symptoms and can throw your hormones off which can cause the violent mood swings. may want to see if they will check that out also.