My neighbor is deathly ill..?

Question

and refuses to go to the er unless i take her. ok.. im 7 months preg. and i have 3 small children.

i told her before that since she's got a fever, i would be scared to load her up in the car w/ all my kids and take her, she's coughing so hard that she puking sometimes.

she says that she's always gotten sick like this and its like a chronic bronchitis/asthma thing. she smokes which doesnt help. but one time before she actually got a hole in her lung from coughing so hard!

tomorrow is my sons birthday, which i've been planning ALL week, my husband comes home from a weeklong trip in the morning- and she is saying that basically the only way she'll go to the er is if when my husband gets home (which he's DRIVING home like 14 hrs.) if he'll stay up w/ the kids so i can take her. then later after the birthday party- i come pick her up from the hospital.

im just scared she could possibly be contagious, and when i mentioned it she flipped out on me and yelled" ITS NOT CONTAGIOUS!" but how do i know?

i just feel like shes putting me in a tough spot because she needs to go see a doc. but i offered to pay for a cab- she refused. saying that wasnt the problem. i know she doesnt want to be alone.. what do i do??

Answer 1

I know that there's a lot of undue pressure, and it's really wrong for her to put you through this, but keep in mind that she isn't in her right mind.

I'd suggest maybe offering to call a cab and go with her to the hospital.

I think what it is is that she's afraid to go alone.

Answer 2

You have probably already helped her, and now she is taking advantage of you.  

You can try calling senior services, but they will probably tell you that you can't make her go to the hospital.   Ask them if there are any volunteers who could go with the lady, but don't be surprised  if they say no.

The bottom line is, you need to be able to stand firm, so you do not endanger the lives of your children and unborn baby.  Just tell her it is her choice if she doesn't want to go to the hospital, but you can't go with her.  

Answer 3

You are not responsible for her.  Call up the hospital and ask them if there is someone who can stop by and check up on her from time to time.  You do NOT need family members around her when she is sick.  Don't bother with her.  You are not her caretaker.  She knows how to dial 911.  She is just taking advantage of you.

Answer 4

Yo don't you dare drive that women no where. She can simply phone her *** a taxi to take her to the hospital. Or go see a doctor. It is not and never has been your responsibility to take care of this women. Does she not have family? If not I wonder why that could possibly be(?) You take care of your own, you are not a taxi services. Think about your stress levels. You should be relaxing at 7 months pregnant.

Answer 5

While I can understand her fear of being in the ER alone, it's not fair that she's expecting you to be her shoulder to lean on while you're pregnant and have 3 children you need to be caring for.  You and your husband sound like you have a lot going on in your own lives.  You don't need her drama.  (yes, she's acting like a drama queen)  

Is there another neighbor who's plate maybe isn't so full that could help her out?  Does she have any family or friends you know of that you could get in contact with?  

Bottom line, she's not your responsibility, don't feel guilty about not being able to help her out.  You have to worry about you and your family, that's always #1.

Answer 6

I agree with the first answer. Call an ambulance. She probably won't argue with strangers. She may be angry with you at first, but if she has the bronchitis/asthma thing, it won't get any better and will probably get worse later in the evening.

Answer 7

Dear mega mom,

It is sort of selfish of her to ask you to do this for her.First of all you are pregnant and she says it's not contagious but does she know for she. So she might be putting you and your unborn child and children in harms way. Second it sounds like you have enough going with three kids, pregnant, husband coming home from a week long trip and not to mention all the hours this man is driving in order to get home to his family.Is there other neighbors or family members that can help?  If she refuses to to take the cab, ambulance then the best thing to do is to call the hospital and see if they have a volunteer program. Volunteers come and pick her up and take her to the hospital and the hospital will take it from there, either she will be admitted or they will run their tests and send her home. I think this is the best solution for yours and her situation. You must have a kind heart for her to even ask you to do this for her, but I think you have way too much going on to spend hours, and hours at a hospital . Good luck! I hope this helps you and let us know what happens.

Answer 8

Your neighbor is being unreasonable. If her life is in danger just call 911. They will send paramedics who will speak with her and if they feel she needs treatment they will take her in.

Answer 9

Offer to pay for the cab again, if she tries to guilt you into taking her, stand your ground.  Tell her you cannot risk catching whatever it is she has, and endangering your unborn child, nor can you risk your children catching whatever it is.  If she refuses again, that's on her, she's an adult and not your responsibility.  Also tell her you don't want your husband to catch whatever it is either.  

Tell her if it gets really bad, call 911...

Answer 10

Tell her to pi$$ off.  Don't you dare take her to the ER.  Your responsibility is to your family and your unborn child.  She's not your friend if she expects anything from you that would interfere with your family, your son's birthday, the health of your family and the health of your unborn child if there's another way for her to get to where she should go.  Why would she want your kids to go through that either...man-o-man...with friends like her who needs enemies.

Please just call her up and tell her no.  Also tell her if she changes her mind about going to the hospital with someone else that she should give you a call and you'd be happy to call her an ambulance.  

What a lousy neighbor...she'd just let your son's birthday go to pieces so she can have her own way.  She is the most selfish person that anyone has ever asked about on Y!A.

Answer 11

Sorry to say, but, your family comes first. Stand your ground. Do you know of any family members of hers that you could contact? You don't say how old she is, I'm just assuming she is elderly.Maybe you might know of another neighbor who could take her. She sounds like she needs to be hospitalized. If you think she really needs immediate medical attention, contact social services and have them check on her. Good luck.

Answer 12

It is completely unfair of her to be putting this undue burden on you!!! It sounds like your heart is definitely in the right place, but she is taking advantage and putting you and your family at risk, and you must put yourself and your family first in this situation.  If she will not go in a cab, call the ambulance to take her, also call Hospice services, they have wonderful programs to care for the terminally ill.  Good luck to you!