My neighbour is so rude: ignoring me when I do kind things for her, not even saying hello if she sees me, etc?

Question

I live in a studio flat, alone. I am responsible for paying the hall eletricity bill and I have to get the money owed to me, by writing my neighbours notes to request the money from them .It may seem like such a petty thing, but I can't stand doing this. My neighbours are so rude and unfriendly. They never thank me for doing this chore. One neighbour recently is the worst: some flowers came by Interflora recently for her, and I signed for them, and took them into my flat after leaving her a note saying they were with me and she could pick them up for me (it was a ruse, so that she would have to face me and say thank you). But in the end, I went out and came home later than I had said I would, in my note, so the next morning, I just placed the flowers out in the hall for her to take. I still expected a thank you knock on the door, or a note saying thank you, at least, but nothing. Again, I don't want to seem petty, but I feel so upset about this. She may be cross with me as I have had to ask her to ask her friends to write to her calling her flat 'rear' flat as they were all writing to her addressing her flat as MY flat's name. But surely I was justified in asking her, politely, to please call her flat a different name? Surely that is not a reason for her to dislike me? Part of me doesn't care at all what she thinks of me )I am older, she is in her 20's, I'm late 30's, I've lived a full life, I'm quite strong in myself). But I am quite old fashioned in my expectations of manners and I think it is so unneighbourly that she is ignoring me and not thanking me. She even leaves post in the hall, that has fallen on the floor, and doesn't place it on the stairs for my flat and for the other flats. I, on the other hand, take the post and place it on the stairs for people. I do it out of common courtesy and consideration. I know, in life, that you can't tell people to say thank you, but part of me really wants to calmly but assertively ask this woman why she is being so rude. Of course, I will not take in any post for her again, but it seems a shame that I have to resort to being unneighbourly, myself, just because she is. I'd much rather continue being a good neighbour, but she riles me so much with her rudeness that I don't want to treat her kindly any more, I mean, why should I? Please help, I am very upset about this. Do you think I should confront her? Ignoring the problem isn't helping : I'm just stewing about it in silence. Thanks x

Answer 1

I wonder if she's got it in her head that you're coming on to her.  I don't sense that in you from what you've shared.  I put a high value on manners and a simple thank you in appreciation for your efforts would surely be welcome, but don't hold your breath - or, for that manner, stoop to any rudeness on your own behalf.  Good luck.

Answer 2

It´s nice to be nice but you are overdoing it. Continue to greet her and that´s it. Why do you want her to change for you? Don´t take it personal if you really are ´quite strong in yourself´. Don´t confront her - leave her alone for God´s sake. Didn´t she clarify by her actions that she doesn´t  want any closer contact?

Answer 3

If you continue to expect her to thank you for your kind deeds you will be stewing forever.  Stop expecting any thanks from her, continue doing your kind deeds without thanks...you'll be a better person for it.

Answer 4

Just don't do anything for her anymore.  If a package comes, don't sign for it.  If mail comes, write "Person does not live here.  Please return to sender."  Hey, it's the truth.

As for this hallway electricity business, that's bull.  Get your name off the bill and make someone else pay for it.  You should only be responsible for what is within those 4 wall of your flat.