My new poem....highway of death...what do you think?

Question

Looking for hope in all the negative places

Looking for light in all the dark spaces

Faking life just to get by

Moving on, telling myself another lie

The sunlight is gone

Pushed away everyone

Labeled my self under beware

Because I no longer have the ability to care

The vanishing light

And the fading sight

No matter how much I beg foe mercy

My soul will always be thirsty

I hold in my breath

And walk down this highway of death

We call life

Answer 1

Yes it's good, well done.

Answer 2

it's a nice and a very realistic poem for me coz i feel that way too.."Because I no longer have the ability to care" just as you said..

Answer 3

like it!

Answer 4

its reallyy good, i like it!! keep up the gd work hehe

would love to read more poems by you....

=]

Answer 5

It is depressing ~~

Answer 6

really kool poem

I enjoyed the comparison of life to a journey along a highway. It was an ingenuous and effective approach and helped conveyed some key issues about the true unfortunate darker aspects of life.

Life is rough and is like a journey. We have to endure the rough ones and enjoy the good ones. We are constantly travelling along a highway and our destinations is oblivious to us all. The choices we make/fate influence our length of travel and our route but in the end we will always be travelling on a risky path because life is risky.

I liked your use of end rhyme. It helped with the flow and development of cohesion in the poem. I also enjoyed the dramatic end. 'We call life' it was a good end to a depressing poem.

I enjoyed how you use travelling jargon, i.e. get by, moving on, walk. This is good cause it relates to the theme/comparison. Perhaps this could have been done more.

The persona seems like a person caught in the midst of emotional strife, reluctant to openly face his problems... he seems to be reminiscing on the bad side to life....

As usual great poem! I enjoyed it alot! You are a true professional! Keep writing and may you see happier days!

Answer 7

"Hi!"

It is a great poem, it displays your emotions well. may you see sunnier days.

cheers.       : )

Answer 8

I dont think life is that bad after all. Cheer up,be hopeful & positive and you may still enjoy life. Still I can say not a bad attempt at poetry.

Answer 9

Wow. It was amazing...I really liked it. Thouigh I have to admit, it was kind of depressing I guess.