My new poem still needs work all advice welcome?

Question

cherry blossom

Feels like I am running out of time

I have waited my life for you

Seems like I could never get it right

so why are my mistakes the truth

Need 2 hold you close tonight

want to wrap around your tranquillity

Am painting a picture of myself

Your perfection is my masterpiece

Whispers fall like cherry blossom

sweet emotion a slice of my heart

once found your never forgotten

passions reaction forms in lust

Awake within my moonlight dream

the breeze picks where petals go

craved within entwined desire

now uncertainty is all I know

Answer 1

Thats Gbeatiful don't change a single word of that i might acually be cryin

Answer 2

Your style of writing is very similar to mine and I really enjoyed your poem although the only fault I can detect in it is the sound of the rhythm..It doesn't run as smooth as it could. Reread your poem over and over and think of words that could really have a huge impact on it and change it for the better.

When I don't feel my poem is as smooth as I would like it to be, I sing it, try singing your poem and when it sounds like it could be an actual song, it's right. It doesn't have to be perfect, but you'll know.

I hope I helped..?

Answer 3

beautiful. :-)

in my opinion it doesnt need to change

but 2 needs to be 'to'

x

thats it