My nine year old refuses to help with chores and clean her room. Any suggestions??

Question

My nine year old refuses to help with chores and clean her room. Any suggestions??

Answer 1

Take things away if she doesnt want to do it, but also pay her allowance if she does do it.  My 7 yr old has being doing house chores for the past couple of years, every couple of weeks we take her to the dollar store or walmart so she can buy whatever she wants with her allowance.  OR we will take her out to eat where she wants or to a movie.  If she doesnt do her chores not only does she not get the allowance she also gets punished. It is never too early for children to learn responsibility, you just have to ease into it. Give them chores that they can handle at thier age. Usually the first ones are cleaning thier bedroom or play room.

Answer 2

Withhold all of her priveledges until she does.

Answer 3

Tell her she can't watch tv and is grounded until she cleans her room.  =]

Answer 4

if she refuses to clean her room and do chores, you need to refuse to let her do the things she wants to do. when told to do something, a child needs to obey PERIOD!...just my opinion.

Answer 5

Bribery sort of....I make my children EARN thier spending money....to include gifts that they buy for friends birthdays and school fundraisers like bake sales...no work..no money....no birthday gift...no go to party (because that's just rude)....anyway....I have a list printed up and magnetized to my fridge, complete with what the chore will pay...IF the chores I tell them to do are not done....they (my kids) DO NOT get to go places on friday after school or on Saturday...My oldest son does the least amount of work, but as long as he gets his room done and the list I give him to do on the weekends..he can skip all the rest as far as I'm concerned....when he has no money to go to the movies with his girlfriend...well TOUGH!!!  The oldest daughter and youngest son are really into seeing how much money they can make every two weeks (pay days). My oldest daughter even started taking piano lessons with all the extra money she makes.

Answer 6

tkae her electronics and and feed her vegetables all the time (nasty ones) tell her you can't afford anything else

Answer 7

Be firm with her.  Tell her she must do what is required of her.  If she doesn't then special privileges (such as dance class, tv time etc) will be taken away.  You must be consistent and firm with her on this.

Answer 8

Tell her that you all have to pull together in the household to keep it going, and that everyone has to contribute her share. Offer to clean her room together with her the first couple of times, but then she has to do what she can by herself. If an appeal to reason doesn't help I would tell her that she just has to do her share and that she will be disciplined if she refuses. Choose any method of discipline you think is effective with your daughter. Mine would get a spanking, but that is not for everyone. It's important to be consistent though. Tell her clearly what she is expected to do and what will happen if she doesn't comply -- then go through with it and don't let her whining move you. I'm sure your daughter will learn quickly. Mine did!

Answer 9

Nine is a little young to be doing chores etc., but if you want her to learn the rudiments of house keeping, then turn it all into a game so she doesn't feel she's actually doing "work". Don't forget to praise her when she gets things right, but don't be too harsh if she gets things wrong. This will put her off.

Answer 10

my 6 yr old has his own chores..cleaning his room taking out trash (small amounts) it helps him understand responsibility. if he does not clean up after himself at least..there is punishment. no nintendo ds, tv, play time with friends until the job is finished. he might pout for a while sometimes but he comes around as long as i am consistent and firm.

Answer 11

Quit doing things for her, quit washing her clothes (for a few days, not forever) quit making her lunch, make her do her own. Let her see how much you do for her. I have told my kids we are a family and we all work together. My kids are 7 and 9 both girls. I also have a rule that if one gives me a really hard time the other gets free time while the whiny one cleans for both of them it really makes a difference.

I also agree take things away. And there is always  the old tried and true pick up everything she wont clean out of her room and toss it (or just put it in your garage for a month or so before giving it back) I would do clothes and all.

My kids also do not get an allowance for cleaning, it is part of helping out as a family, we all do a part.

My mom had a job jar when I was a kid. It was just a Mason jar with whatever jobs she wanted me and my sisters to do. We each had to pull 3 a day. And her saying was you drew it you do it. That way we could not whine about always having to do dishes or whatever. Now that I am a mother I find it a very clever idea.

Answer 12

Go to http://www.supernanny.com/ - She always has really good advice and suggestions.

Answer 13

Tell her she can clean her room or you can, but if you do it, you're gathering her stuff up in a bag and she can have it back in a week.

With chores that don't involve just picking up toys and clothes, I'd say just tell her that when the chores are done she can go play, and until then she can sit somewhere boring with nothing to do or start working on them.

(Maybe also take a look at your expectations and chore list ... at 9 you can expect some help but if the chore list is so long she's not having time to play, cut it down.  Also keep in mind that it is her room, so while it's fine to have some standards (no food, dirty clothes in the hamper, clear floor, etc.) it's also reasonable to make it up to her whether she wants a nicely organized bureau top or not....)).

Answer 14

I think all children need chores to learn responsibility.  At 9 you can give her simple chores around the house but cleaning up after herself is not a chore.   She should be expected to clean up her room and make her bed.   Tell her you will eliminate any privileges she has for one week if she doesn't clean her room, taking away a privilege every 3 days she doesn't clean her room or her own mess.    She shouldn't be compensated for this - it's her responsibility.  

After she has this down pat, you can start making things interesting and ad a monetary or other incentive for a house chore.  My son does the garbage.  He collectes the garbaage bags from all the rooms and we dump in the large bag, I tie it up and he takes it to the curb on garbage night. If there is a lot of garbage, or if its too heavy, I help him.  Help her so that she can get motivated and then as time goes on, let her find her own way of doing things.  

Good luck

Answer 15

Refuse to cook for her

Answer 16

well first u got to treat her with love to make her do it. id say you should give her reward for doing chores such as sweets and money children do alot for good rewards so you can think of good reward to give her for doing her chores.

Answer 17

Take her tv out of her room. Take her games, computer,stereo, skates, bicycle, all toys and privileges.

Allow her to earn them back  one by one. You will also  notice that her grades with shoot up or points will get higher.

Come in her room and help her at first. Try redecorating the room. Its a great incentive. New Sheets.ect.