My out of control sister?! any ideas to shake her into reality?

Question

i'm thirteen years old.

I have a 20yrold sister whos out of control.

She doesnt answer our phone calls even if we call 6 time in a row (mom and I )

She parties all night, and sleeps over at a guy's apartment , a different guy...

she went to phoenix with her bf.

She lies constantly.

She only thinks about her self!

example: mom, sister and I all have LG phones, she lost my moms and hers adapters and broke mine. We just bought a new one, and she took it tonight. and my mom and i dont have any battery...

-she used my extensions and theyre falling apart. I wore them once, and she wore them for a week. and I paid them with my money and made them myself. Now, i have to buy new ones,and the economy is bad and i cant get a job at this young age.

- Oh, and she doesnt have a job. My mom gave her one at a salon, but she missed the third time and got fired... and the hairstylist was my moms friend .

- Please, help us make her realize reality. Were tired of calling her every night 8 times and I'm tired of waking up at 2:31 am and aid to her "needs"( turning off the lights for her...yadda yadda)

Any experienced moms with this?

Please help us!

How to we react to her behavoir?

ignore her calls(if she ever calls) and just kick her out?and hope for the best...?

I'm tired of her, taking my stuff and my hair extensions( she took mine and made them fall apart after only 7 days)

so help!

HOW DO WE REACT!!???

Answer 1

shes in college you might end up doing the same if your not careful

Answer 2

I have a sister like that. But she is younger than me. I try to be very careful around her. I don't think she is in the right frame of mind, I think she might be depressed. I don't know what the best thing to do in this situation is. Stop lending her your stuff? Maybe talking to her nice and calm manner. My sister is also a compulsive liar, I was pretty angry for a time but afterwards I read more about compulsive lying and the people who do it just find comfort in doing it. I know its pretty annoying! But I think you will just have to deal with her lying. Being out-of control, lying, neglecting your stuff seems to be symptoms of a bigger problem. That problem I don't know about. Just have to support her, I guess. I think that problem needs to be solved, if you want to stop the symptoms. I would stop lending her stuff, and not be confrontational as  she would just lie. Good luck!  

Answer 3

Sounded like it's either you care about her or plain jealous about her. Either way, you are too young to handle this problem.

I guess it's up to your mom's decision though... Maybe she can kick ya sis outta house for some time? With lil' or no money at all! Thus your sis will realise what's a family to her, some day. :)

Or you could get your mom to get her into counselling or your mom should sit down and talk to her about her behaviors!

Cheers!

Answer 4

You're 13, so there's nothing you can do.  All your parents can do is kick her out.  

Answer 5

Talk to your Mom and suggest kicking her out.

Answer 6

She is doing what your mom is letting her get away with. Many people underestimate the resourcefulness of young people when forced to take full responsibility for themselves.

I spent 8+ years making my parents miserable, they kicked me out, right after high school, came back and got kicked out a few times, slowly dwindled away all of my options because the people I was hanging out with were doing the same thing.

The last time I called them to beg to come back home they said I could on one condition:join the military. I had no other choice and I figured I could weasel out of it like I did all other forms of responsibility. Oh yeah, they made one other rule. If I didn't follow every other rule they made I was out then and there, no questions asked.

6 years later I have been out of the Navy for a year, i am going to college, and I have a 3.7 GPA and 55 credits. I haven't had grades that good since junior high.

Tuff love is what its called and sometimes it is the only way. If that doesn't work the she is just not ready to get her life together, but either way you and your mother have to protect yourselves. It will hurt. I know, I have a younger brother who I am trying to help get his life on track but sometimes it feels like I care more than he does.

She has to do whatever it is she is going to do on her own. At this point all you and your mom can do is not enable her to take advantage of you.  

Answer 7

Completely unacceptable.  I say you give her $500 and tell her to survive on her own with no talking, assistance, or communication with you and your mother for any kind for 3 months.  Maybe she'll get her act together then.

Answer 8

There isn't a thing you can do.  You're her sister and you're only 13 - you don't have any authority.  It's your mom who has to take action.  If your mom prefers to be a doormat and whine about your sister instead of DOING something, there's nothing you can do about that, either.

What *should* your mom do?  First thing I would do is cut off any access your sister has to family money.  I would tell her that she needs a job by September 1, even if it's flipping burgers at McDonalds.  Her name is coming off the auto insurance policy on October 1, so she needs to see about getting her own policy and having the money to prepay those first months.  If she's using a car owned by your mom, she needs to be responsible for the gas she uses and the oil changes and basic maintenance on the car.  And then your mom needs to set a date for your sister to start contributing to housing, utilities, groceries, etc.  This is generally when the kid screams something like, "I hate you!  I'll just move out!"  And that's okay, too.  That's the whole idea, actually.

Your mom and your sister both need to understand that regardless of how old your sister is, as long as she lives in your mom's house and relies on your mom for financial support, she has to live by your mom's rules.  If your sister wants to make her own rules, she has to move out and support herself.  And your mom needs to understand that as long as she's the parent and as long as it's her house, she is the only person who has the right to make the rules.

Answer 9

That is so funny..This sounds EXACTLY like my sister who is 20 too.

Answer 10

Simple. Your mom needs to take a paddle to her butt.

Answer 11

Stay out of it, you're too young to get involved.  Sounds to me like your mad at or even jelous of your sister for some reason.  You'll understand things more when you experiance them as an adult.  There also is two sides to every story, so who knows what her side is.  Anyways, this is for your parents to deal with, not you.

Answer 12

Shes over 18 right. Simple kick her out she's an adult now she can live on her own.