My parents are trying to turn me against the other?

Question

My parents are always fighting and I think they're going to get a divorce soon. It's not that unexpected, but at the same time I can't stop feeling depressed. Their screaming is hard to ignore and it seems like I hear my name in most of their fights; they never mention my siblings, only things about me. Such as how I need to work more (already have 2 jobs), my car is too nice (apparently a car that doesn't break down is too good for me), and my attitude. (Occasionally when they try to make me pick sides, I glare at them and leave.)

After they're down fighting they also vent about why the other is wrong with me. I hate hearing them say all these horrible things about the other. My mother is the worst though. She's actually trying to make us hate our father. I think she's giving up on me since I ignore her when she does this. (Also another reason I think she yells about me to my dad; I won't be on her side all the time, so now I'm her enemy.)

I just can't stop thinking about how much this all sucks. Before I was excited because this was going to be my senior year and I was planning to have as much fun as possible, but now this is just going to be the sucky year my parents got divorced.

I don't know what to do to stop being depressed. I can't sleep anymore and the only way I can sleep peacefully is by drugs/drinking. (Just so you know, I stopped doing those things which is why I can't sleep anymore.) Sorry to anyone who read that. I know it's a lot and you probably don't care, but there's no one here I can talk to...

Answer 1

First, your parents have no business including you in their problems. You are right in ignoring them and not taking sides.

You do not say if your siblings are older or younger than you. If you have an older sibling not living at home or other relative nearby would it be possible for you to live with them for awhile? Also try talking to a school counselor or clergy or other trusted adult to help you cope.

I am sorry that you have to be going through this especially your senior year but you sound like a strong person to have endured it this long. I will hope and pray for the best for you.

Answer 2

I feel your pain!  My mother use to pick arguments all the time with my father. She that's all my mother knew how to do. When my father was at work then she picked arguments with us. I use to wish my mother would just leave. I use to keep my headphones on so I didn't have to hear it!  I hate bad memories......ugh!

Answer 3

I am sorry that you are being put through all of this.  Have you thought that maybe your drugs and drinking are why your parents are so worried about you? Maybe they are scared that these things are going to get out of control and that they could loose you. I think your parents love you, but it sounds like they are having problems of their own as well.  You never know what could be going on in your parents personal relationship with each other.  I think that it would be so hard to have kids, jobs, and maintain a strong marital relationship.  Anyway, maybe your parents need counseling for themselves.

Take some time to write your parents a letter (or one to each parent)...tell them how you feel.  Tell them that you love them, that they are good parents and you know that they are doing the best job that they can.  Apologize for anything that you may have done to upset or hurt them.  Then, tell them that their constant fighting is really hurting you (and probably your siblings as well).  Say that you fear that their relationship is not healthy and that maybe they should get some counseling.

If your parents get a divorce...it is not your fault.  Try to enjoy your high school and do the best you can in your own life, but drugs and alcohol are not the answer.  Maybe you need to talk to a counselor or some professional who can help you deal with your depression and frustration. Sometimes, I find that journaling (just writing how you feel) about what is going on in your life helps relieve stress and helps me resolve problems.  Just write down whatever comes into your head and whatever you feel.. Your journal can be private and you don't have to show anyone....It helps me!

Good Luck!

Answer 4

please don't do drags or alcohol sweaty