My parents constantly preach vegan-ism, Christianity and a whole lot more!?

Question

Hi - never posted on here before but feel I could really do with some advice as I'm at a loss really what to do anymore. I'm 32 years old and live with my husband and two children. My parents live about 20 minutes away from us - we see them every so often although I am starting to feel less and less like getting together with them, and have probably felt this way for a few years now. This is mainly to do with them constantly preaching their vegan and christian way of life to us. I guess what has really tipped my patience and anger over the edge lately is my parents not only preaching their vegan-ism to us all, but actually taking my two children (aged 11 and 6) into a farm shop yesterday and showing them the meat/hanging 'dead burning flesh' (their words) and then showing them the live animals outside and asking them which they would prefer seeing....! We don't eat a great deal of meat - we actually were vegetarians not so long ago, but chose to eat meat again, being very careful to buy free range now, with a great deal of thought and research going into where we buy it from. My children don't eat meat - yet - but I was hoping, given time they may choose to eat the same as us sometimes (their choice). I know after yesterday there is no way my youngest will even try it now, I feel that he was even turning his nose up at my Sunday Roast today! I have told my parents before now that if they continue to preach and shove their beliefs down our throats I'm really going to have to reconsider whether I want to to see them anymore - which I feel terrible about! I am just at the end of my tether now, and seem to spend half of my life trying to work out how to deal with them, and what to say to them, and it's getting pretty depressing to say the least! Any help or advice greatly appreciated :-(

Answer 1

This is not a vegan or vegetarian issue..it's a relationship issue.    This forum is to ask about vegetarianism..not how to deal with parents who don't respect your wishes.

Answer 2

Try to set some barriers to what they can say or do, you must let them know that they are YOUR children and you can make decisions by yourself and your husband. if they cant respect you, you have to give them a consequence. maybe like less visits to none.

Answer 3

Let them know that their preaching is having exactly the opposite reaction.  Tell them that they're driving you and your children away from them, not closer.  Tell them that YOU are the parents and will raise their grandchildren with the values that you were raised with, but, please let YOU have the chance to raise your own children!  They need to trust your judgement and not try to force their views down your throats.  If they don't stop preaching, then you and your children will not be seeing them anymore.....

Answer 4

They are just doing and saying what they feel is right.You should follow your heart and do the same. I personally believe they are right.

Answer 5

Why, don't u want yr children to know the reality? Yr parents r only showing them truth n u want to keep them in dark. What do u mean by " research going into where we buy it from" sounds  like a killer looking for a ideal weapon to kill his pray. Wake up my dear, yr parents r against cruelty not yr ownership of children.

Answer 6

I had different issues with my parents, and I stopped seeing them. That was it, the end.  Bye-bye.  If you like your parents otherwise, just make if very plain and clear to the that you do not like what they are doing and if it doesn't stop, then that's the end.  The same sort of thing happened with some other people I know, and they were pushing candy, meat, etc. onto my vegan children although I had already made it very clear they were not to do that.  I gave them a few chances and reminded them very sternly that this sort of behaviour from them was not acceptable.  They finally stopped (as far as I know).  But if they did not stop or I find out that they are just hiding it better now... well, they had their chance and good-bye.  Lots of other people out there in the world, so I don't need to waste my time with the likes of them, family or not.  Just remember, give them a choice, then act.  If they choose do insult and disrespect you, then end it.  You never know, they might even apologize and you will then tell them you will consider their apology, but let it wait a number of months before you allow them to see the children again as a show that you are *very* serious (and will not be fooled by false apologies).

Answer 7

You have to think carefully and need to talk to your parents about this matter.  Tell them you are not pressuring your children to eat meat.  It is their choice if they want to eat meat or not.  Let the children decide if they want to eat meat or not. By showing those thing we are conveying wrong message to the children.  For example I am vegetarian and I don,t eat meat, fish or eggs but my children and my husband are non-veg.  But I don,t allow my children to eat pork and beef because of religon matter.  My youngest son (age 4) is used to vegetarian but now he eats meat and this is choice.  You need to speak in good tone with your parents that let the children decide what they want to eat.  You have to talk to chidren in calm voice and explain about veg and non-veg food.  You tell your parents if they keep preaching about non-veg food, you need to tell them to stay away about their family matter it is destroying their family.

Answer 8

Wow. What your parents are doing is wrong. I'm a Christian so I can't comment on that aspect but the thought of your kids having to go to that farm is just disturbing. If you have asked them not to do this and they continue on  without considering your instincts as a mother to do what's right, then I see no alternative than to disconnect yourselves from them. Painful for you as it may be, your children growing up normally is more important.

Answer 9

Boy that's a lot to deal with. As a christan I have never not eaten meat.

We have 11 grand children 3 great grand children.Your parents have no right to push their beliefs on to you and your children.

  If I were you I would never let them have my children again. They have shown no respect for how you want to raise your children.Your parents would not have let anyone tell them how to raise you.Tell them to back off. God gave you 2 children to raise. He  is trusting you to make the right chooses.

Some people pick out what they want from the bible to back up their beliefs. Don't fall into that trap. I hope you chose to have a relationship with God.But a relationship based on the whole truth of Gods word. We will pray for your family.

Be Blessed Kitty

Answer 10

Why keep your children ignorant of the cruelty that goes into their food?  Why would you lie to your childen?  It sounds like your parents want your children to know the truth and you're the one who's at fault here.

There is no such thing as "humane slaughter."  Don't kid yourself with your free range meat.  Meat=death.  

But if my parents didn't follow my wishes with regards to my children, they'd never see them again.