My parents divorce is depressing me, how do I deal?

Question

OK I am 21 years old and moved out about a year ago from my parents house. They seemed to get along great and I miss the time our family used to spend together, when I think about all the happy memories it makes me want to cry because I know life will never be that way again.

I am happiest when with my family, especially my mom and six year old sister. My mom and sister are currently living with my grandma and sleeping on the couch, they have been for about 6 mo. My mother refuses to move because she has a good job and does not want to live alone. I feel so bad for my younger sister, she had to endure my parents arguing and my father being verbally abusive to my mother. She used to be very close to my father but now she seems to distance her self from him, she doesnt even visit home often. I try to take her to see her old room and her little bed but she said she thinks she will never move back. It breaks my heart. Everything was so good for my family and now I feel like my family as a whole is dead. I don't want my parents to move on because my sister will grow up without a father and I can't imagine how difficult that would be. I wish my parents would just get along. But I know that is not going to happen. Its just going to be a never ending cycle of verbal abuse from both sides.

Answer 1

It is imperative that your mother get your sister out of that unhealthy environment , before she grew up believing that women should be treated that way.  Your mother is doing the right thing.  Although things are rough now because nothing has been finalized, it will get better.

If you are feeling a need to do something, ask your father about going with your mother to marriage counseling and vice versa.  I doubt that they will, but it is worth the try.  

In the meantime, try to find someone that is older and knows something about how divorce affects families, that you can speak with. If you can not locate anyone, try your local state mental health clinic for therapy.  It is free or based on salary, and it will help you, and if you can bring her, your sister too!!!

Answer 2

I'm sorry, and I don't know what to say. It's really disgraceful what goes on in this day and age.

Here are some interesting articles:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article...

Answer 3

Hang in there, being in this situation is tough enough and all you need to do now is to surround your mom and your sister with your love and support. I am sure you love your dad too, but it is not right if they get back together just for the sake of the memories, especially if the relationship of your parents are tainted due to verbal abuse. Things like this happen to a lot of families and love can make you truly understand these circumstances.

please answer mine too:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 4

I know you are going through a tough time because I've been there done that. And it hurts, I don't want to preach to you, but I know that the only way your parent and family can get back together is if Jesus Christ intervenes. You should get on your knee and pray to God to heal your family and to ignite the love again that your parents once shared. Good Luck And God Bless!!

Answer 5

go out with your friends. you only get depressed when you let things affect you. ^,..,^

Answer 6

It seems that time will heal this situation.  I have been in a similar situation and that is what it will take.  These things will work themselves out.

Maybe take your sister out and start some new family tradition with her.  

Answer 7

Any kind of abuse is more damaging than you can imagine.

Dont think of your family as being dead, think of it as finally being able to live for the first time.

Answer 8

You are 21 and can move out to avoid unhappiness but what about your 6 years old Sister?

You should stay put to see what can be done to help..  at least help to look after your young sister and give her some sibling's love.

With you not around , things may even get worse and instead of verbal abuses it may get worse...

Answer 9

This is a situation that can be very sad, but the good side is that both parents will be a lot happier. Being in a situation where there is fighting and verbal abuse is not good for anyone.

Your sister will be better off than she would be if she had to deal with the verbal abuse every day.

I think she will be okay as long as she is able to visit both parents.

I know it's sad to feel like you are losing your family, but be strong. If things are to the point of verbal abuse, this is really the best thing for everyone.

Good luck to your family. :hugs:

Answer 10

Provide as much support for your sister as you can, since you seem to be very good role model.  Its hard to deal with this type of stuff and there is a greiving process.  Counseling sometimes helps with getting through it.  It might be best for you, your sister and mom maybe?  You can only control your own feelings and not the actions of others.  Take each day at time, things will eventually work out for your family.  Good luck and hang in there.  

Answer 11

Study good marriage. No repeat parents problem.  

Answer 12

Try and surround your friends, keep yourself busy and try not to think about it too  much.

Answer 13

Maybe you and your sister could go out together and have fun. Don't force her to do anything, it'll just make it worse. I've basically grown up without a father because of divorce as well, and it turns out to be better since my parents are away from each other since they aren't arguing all the time. Maybe you could try to have your sister live with you so she's not affected by all that. it may be a good idea since my mother became abusive towards me shortly after my parents divorced. I hope everything works out.