My parents don't approve?

Question

So for the past two weeks my parents have been concerned about my relationship with my guy friend whom is 25 years older than me (I'm 18). I know they have the right to be concerned considering what happens in today's world. However, I 100% doubt that he just wants to be my friend for other motives.

I wasn't completly honest about the relationship (told them I was going with another friend), but they found out and eventually confronted me on it and let me continue to text and call him, my dad even let me hang out with him but my step mom didn't so big reason I'm writing this. After talking to them they decided to give a "trial run" if they get to meet him. However, I don't know if they even still meet him and see that he is a good guy that they will let me be his friend still. Granted I know I'm an adult and could do whatever I wanted but I'm not financially independant and having a major fall out with my parents wouldn't be a good option at all.

How do I let them see that he means well? Also I haven't even told this guy my parents don't approve (plan tonight), I'm scarred that he wont want to be my friend anymore or want to put forth that much effort to stay friends (think he might, but I'm still concerned that he might not)

Answer 1

I understand where they are coming from. You are their daughter and you just told them you are "friends" with a man probably close to their age. How do you think you would react? I am surprised that they are willing to met him and entertain the thoughts of you two together. They seem fairly open minded. Also if you are afraid of telling your "friend" that they don't approve, but are willing to get it a trial run, then maybe you shouldn't be hanging out (whatever you want to call it) with him. Remember that 25 years is a huge difference and might be too much to overcome. He might try to treat you like the kid you are instead of trying to understand where you are coming from in certain circumstances. Like a daughter instead of girlfriend. Be ready for that. Also you can't get into a lot of clubs, or bars, places he might want to go, so that cuts down on possible date locations, and he might get resentful towards you for being so young. Please be careful and don't go into this blindly.

Answer 2

I think you're "jumping the gun" a bit when you make mention of a fallout with your parents.

You're 18, your friend is 43. To be honest, I do wonder why a 43-year-old would be interested in a tight friendship with someone 25 yrs. their junior. I'm not saying there's an ulterior motive, just that it seems odd. If you were a little older, it would be more understandable.

Your parents have agreed to give him a "trial run" if they get the meet him. What's the problem there???. Arrange a meeting, or better still invite him for dinner, so your parents can spend some time in his company.

You plan on telling your friend about your parents disapproval, but are scared he may not be your friend after you tell him. If that were to happen, it should be a strong message to you that he truly was not your friend.

You're second-guessing your parents here. They've agreed to give him a "trial run", then you doubt them by saying that even if they do meet him, see he's a good person, but still won't let you be his friend. That sounds very controlling to me., & I do think you may be jumping to conclusions.

I do strongly suggest you arrange a meeting..or even dinner. Play everything 'by ear". Don't go looking for trouble. Take things as they come. You never, know; you could be pleasantly surprised.