My parents just told me theyre getting divorced!

Question

how do i handle this?

Answer 1

aww I'm an terribly sorry.  I truly am.  But that's their decision. sorry it didn't work out.  it's alright to cry.  and ask God to help you get through it.  It will be OK in the morning...........

Answer 2

I'm not sure there is a right way to handle this.  There are definitely wrong ways - letting any pain and anger dictate your behavior.  You are probably feeling awfully confused, angry, hurt, worried and a million other things.  You know what?  Your parents are feeling the same things.  A divorce is a like a death in the family.  You parents dream of a happy marriage has died and your dream of a happy family has too.  What you are going to be experiencing is very much like the process of grief that people experience when someone they love dies.

This is going to be a crazy time for you all.  I really hope your parents get you and any siblings into counseling.  One thing though, if you are old enough to understand - you parents are simply human.  They are flawed and they are not trying to hurt you.  They simply are in a place where they have to hurt everyone to begin to make anything good again.

Very, very rarely do people go to divorce if there is any other option available to them.  This can get better.  It will never be perfect again.  But dear, it is like what Friedrich Nietzsche wrote, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."

Answer 3

Spend time talking with them about your feelings and fears.

They will still love you.  They just don't want to be together.

Answer 4

My parents just separated. Talking to friends is a good idea. They're great for letting it out too. Also, writing in a journal lets you scream your feelings without letting other people know how you feel. Thing is, the court will most likely make you go to a parenting class where you talk about your feelings and do some role playing. Find a way to let yourself go without screaming. It makes it more stressful and the parents are going to over react. Good luck kid

Answer 5

For starters, im really sorry.

i was 8 when my parents were getting divorced...now im 16 and both my parents remarried but a few months ago my dad asked for a divorce......so here goes round two lol

it takes a lot of time.....i used to wonder why and it used to make me really upset but now i know who my parents really are; and it makes sense that they got divorced.My life is sooo much better now. i actually see my dad and my mom is happy. I also have a lot of new "family" members in my life that i really love as family and i feel more blessed.  but I NEVER SAW THAT BEFORE. it took 8 years.

if it makes you angry be angry, if it makes you sad, be sad. Call a friend who will hear you out. Its not ever something that you can just blow off. I tried. and i ended up worse than i was before dealing with it. I cant possibly know what youre going through because every divorce is different. people are different. but i do understand the confusion.

add me as a contact if you want. id be happy to help you if you need it. and im an unbiased opinion.  

my advice: talk to someone who isnt one of your parents who you trust....tell your parents how it makes you feel and keep out of their business...ignore all bribes and bad mouthing...theyre probably upset too and will SAY OR DO ANYTHING to get you on their side!!!!! but like i said before all people and divorces are different and this is just kind of the worst that could happen...

im really sorry =/

Answer 6

Cry your eyes out and shout and scream WTF!!!!

Answer 7

My parents divorced when I was 3 years old, and then when I was 5, my dad remarried.  My stepmom and my dad were married for 9 years, and this year (May 15 x.x) my dad told me they were getting divorced and she was going to move out before the court date.  He asked me if I wanted to come over that weekend and I said yes.  So I went over and there were boxes piled up to the ceiling.  I woke up the next day to my little brother saying I had a horseback riding lesson (and I was excited to go, I wanted to go for forever) and we were leaving in a little bit.  I hurried up and got dressed for my 1 hour lesson, and my dad stayed there the whole time while I was riding.  When we came home everything was still there except my little brothers and sister and older adopted brother.  My stepmom took them before I could even say goodbye...  

I cried my eyes out, but I'm somewhat ok now.  I got to see one of my little brothers for his birthday, and they came over to my house to come visit me so I could see them.  I'm not completely over it and I think I need to hear both sides of the story.  I've only heard my dad's side and I am with him on his side.  My stepmom took almost everything and left us with shower supplies, kitchen supplies, cleaning supplies (like washer, dryer, windex, etc), a futon, and my dad's computer + desk.

Answer 8

listen to a lot of music and eventually you'll get over it, but not fully. i don't think the pain will ever go away. try to remind yourself that they both are there for you and that their happiness is more important than them living together.  

Answer 9

Dude, my parents are nearly always arguing. They always say they're gonna divorce. But then they say they don't mean it. But then a few hours later it starts again! =(

I think want to, but they can't now. (tough situation, you see?)

Anyway, I think it's better to have a clean cut rather then to send mixed messages.

There is no proper way to handle a divorce. People grieve differently. Just find a way you best cope, whether that be sport, painting or music etc. But make sure you don't substitute your grief with something else. Allow yourself to cry and whatever. Just remember, they love you and that's all they care about and what matters in the end.

Good luck

XxXx

Answer 10

Sit down and talk to them about it. It is important for you to know it is not your fault. Don't feel embarrassed or ashamed to cry or talk to friends about it!!!!!

Answer 11

Ahh... im really sorry to hear that. I honestly cannot say that i have any experience with divorce but i can say ive done really well handling such situations. I know at this time you probably just wanna shut everything out and just be by yourself for a while. but i think a night with some friends could possibly get the situation out of your mind for a bit. Also...chocolate makes everything better!! :D Keep your chin up high and never let it fall. Good luck with your situation. It will only get better! :D

Answer 12

I am so so so sorry. when this happened to me i was so depressed and i felt horrible. But now, a few years later i realize that it was all for the best. try talking to a teacher or if u have siblings tell them how you feel. but just remember that everything happens for a reason.

Answer 13

I am truely sorry that you have to go through this.Talk to your family both sides.Tell them how you feel and how it is affecting you. It might not keep them together but as long as you and your family stay communicating about this it will help you. I don't know the whole situation but if you feel as this doesn't help then seek some help outside your family.Like a counselor.

Answer 14

I'm so sorry. My parents also just told me they're getting a divorce and i don't think i've gone a day without crying and really it helps to let it all out!

Answer 15

Calmly and Rationally- you probably have a lot of questions- you should ask them all. When my parents got divorced I wrote a lot of things down because I had mixed feelings about things. However, it was the best decision they ever made- they are both happier now and my relationships with them have improved. Also you probably have a friend or two whose parents have split up try talking to someone who has been there before.  

Answer 16

try and put yourself in their position..would you want to spend your life with someone you know you cannot? Whatever the situation..put yourself in their shoes and see how they feel..and don't worry. I am sure they will still have a close relationship with you..and make sure you keep speaking with them..it will definitely make you feel better later. And for now just try and process everything. Hope you feel better.