My parents just told us that the 3 foster kids that are staying with us are going to be adopted?

Question

we have a large family. i have 2 older brothers (23 and 18), an older sister (20), a twin brother (we're 16). and when my twin and i were 8, my parents foster to adopted 2 brothers who are now 14 and 10. As of 2 years ago, my parents took into foster care 3 young siblings. They are now 2 boys ages 6 and 4, and a 2 year old girl. To top it off, we found out that dads recent vasectomy didn't work and mom's pregnant (weird, eh?). anyway, back to my question..... Jonathan, Josiah, and Jordynne have become a part of our family. I can't really remember life without them, i mean, i love these kids. i don't even consider them foster sibs in real life (i did on here to explain our situation). and as of last week, our family has decided to adopt them (we just haven't taken the first steps yet). then knock, knock on the door, their social worker comes and said they found a family to adopt them, they're leaving next month. can they do that? WE ARE THEIR FAMILY, NOT THOSE OTHER PEOPLE> help!!!

Answer 1

That's too bad.  I would suggest that your parents do what they can to initiate the adoption and see if they can adopt the kids instead; after all, the kids have been in your home and are already a part of your family.

Moving them now would be traumatic and upsetting for your younger siblings.  (and your entire family!)  I hope your parents can fight this and gain custody of them.  They belong where they are already settled and happy.

Answer 2

If your parents put in a petition to  adopt them, then the adoption worker will usually  do a home study and decide whose, between all interested parties is the most suitable home for them.  Usually the amount of time that they have been with you and the attachment they have with your family will have some weight.  The foster family usually is first in line, due to the fact that they don't want the kids to experience any more losses than they already have endured.  Maybe the workers weren't aware that your parents were willing to adopt them.  It shouldn't be too late for them to enter their request.

Answer 3

I know it's hard but you know the main job of being a foster parent is to foster (hold) a child until he or she is adopted.



I know it's hard and the children have become apart of your lives but it would come a time that they would have been placed. Maybe you should talk this over with your parents and express your feels. I wish you and your family luck.

Oh tell your parent they are angels because not many people are strong enough to do that type of care.

Answer 4

Sorry but unless you take your case to the Court-House, nothing can really be done. Especially if a family is already set on adopting them.

Answer 5

you'll survive

Answer 6

That must be really hard. I am sorry to hear that. I have nothing against foster care at all, I just dont really agree with it 100%. For that reason of being attatched then for the kids to be adopted out. I am not sure what your family can do about it, I guess they could talk the the social worker and explain. erm....other than that, i dont know. I think its one of those things that is apart of foster care, so i am not sure if they can do anything about it. If i could click my fingers now for you I would, and make them stay apart of your family. I really do feel for you.

I wish you all the luck in the world and prey to god that those kids stay where they should be.......home, with family.

xx

Answer 7

Well your parents can try to take it to court , did they inform the foster care system they were wanting to adopt the children? However if they do have to go to this new family, you all need to make the adjustment as easy on them as possible. Hopefully their new family will still allow you all to be in the children’s life, and you’ll just get more an extended family. I know a couple who adopted their daughter at 18 months old she had been with the same Foster Family since she was a month old, she’s probably about 3 now but her former foster family is still a big part of her life, they still see each other, the families sometimes do things together, celebrate birthdays together, even went on a family vacation together this past summer.

Answer 8

They can do anything they want to do maybe if your parents tell them they are interested in adopting them they might have a chance

Answer 9

Unless you take your case to a court house and the children tell the judge and jury that they want to be adopted by your family, then the other family is going to get them. Even if you are fostering a child and were going to take action to adopt them, if a family gets there first then you lose out. I am really sorry, and I do hope your situation works out for you. ( you can always tell the kids to be little terrors so the family won't want to keep them anymore.)

Answer 10

I am in a similar situation as you and yes there is something your family can do you need to go to court and file a motion that is called DE facto parenting that pertains to any one that has been providing for a child for more that six months and it doesn't matter if you are not a blood relative all you have to do is provide evidence to the judge that your family has been there for the children financially, physically,emotionally,and show proof like family pictures, trips,etc that you do as a family. it is a lot of work but it is all worth it.

Answer 11

Hello,

This is a part of fostering. We had a little girl who was supposed to go up for adopting and we were first in line and her mother and father finally got themselves clean and she went home.  We miss her but our role was to take care of her and she never belonged to us.

As foster parents you parents know the risk hard as they are.  If your parents were interesting in adopting they need to let the social worker know before the adoption process begins.  If they tried and for some reason social servies said no, then hard though it may be you have to let go.  

Foster care is hard.  It is lving in a glass bubble with very little reward, except to know you are making a difference in teh life of a child.  The fact that you were supportive of your parents, you can know at least that you helped these children out and made a big difference in their lives.  

Most agencies have counselling and other resources to help foster parents let go.  It is never easy (actually I can remember a few kids it was easy to let go of ;0) ) but it does get better.

Take care of yourslef and lean on yoru current family.

Answer 12

My heart truly goes out to you. We were suppose to adopt the son we had for two years. 2 weeks before our final adoption date a bio family member stepped in to take him. Since we had our petition to adopt and adoption date already filed with the court we fought...tooth and nail to the tune of several thousand dollars and still lost...because the state favors permanency with bio family. Our heart is breaking as our son prepares to leave next week. Foster care is tough stuff... And even though I know it is hard to find a bright side...Believe me I struggle with it.... I'm glad to know that for the last two years I was able to love and protect him.

Answer 13

I would think your family would be the first choice as far as who gets to adopt... especially if the kids have been with you for a while.     Fight....

If the people that want to adopt are related to the children, then maybe they have a better chance, but if they are totally unrelated, your family seems the better place for them.  

Best wishes!!!

Answer 14

Oh, I'm so sorry! Yes, they can do that.  My aunt had the same thing happen just as she was about to adopt the child she'd been fostering for 2 years.