My parents ruined my childhood. What do I do?

Question

I'd never say that my parents ruined my life because i like to think that I have some years left over to repair it. But they have destroyed my childhood, and the main culprit is of course my mother. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents but I don't like my mom the vast majority of the time right now. When I was little, my mom and dad would always fight. My mom would always tell me how she hated my dad, and by me being so young, i learned to hate him too and so did my little sister. When I got older, I started to realize that they'd separate and get back together again very often and that would happen over and over agian. So i was basically raised to hate my dad. But when I told my mom that I hated him, she'd tell me not to because she didn't want me to go to h**l. She raised me to hate him, to not count my half brothers in my life, to lie to him, and to basically be a ***** to him.

today, I'm seventeen years old and I'm looking forward to graduating this year so that I can finally get out of this house. My mom and I fight constantly. I know you won't believe this especially because of my age, but i try so hard to be respectful...but it never works. My dad is living with us now (what else is new) and I asked my mom could I go to walmart. She told me that I only talk to her when I want something and to ask my dad. My dad said that it's her house and her rules. I got annoyed and I just went to my room.

When I was younger, I was never allowed to go to parties unless my mom knew the parents. That's not bad, right? Well, she never made an effort to meet them. This still happens now. I wanted to go to prom with my friends and she said that I couldn't because she hadn't met the parents. So I arranged a day for them to meet, and she blew it off.

There's so much more, but I don't want y'all to get bored. I'll give more only if asked. What should I do? This is making me a terrible friend because I can't go to my friends when they're upset. My mom says that I won't be able to text during the school year because she caught me texting at eleven pm. What would You do?

Answer 1

My husband also had the same problem with his mom. I can't suggest you -what you should do(because there is no solution to it....its difficult to deal with such situation).

But I can definately share my husband's experience with you. His mother was same like your mom. After completing his studies he went away from her for higher studies. Then he got some relief.

He still calls her(in-return though he don't expect anything). He crossed his limits to do whatever he can, to keep her happy financially and emotionally(though she play blame game with her own son - abusing him for everything wrong that happened in her life) . He says that- he will do his part of duty and rest he willl leave upto god.

So just try to stay away from her. Live on your own. You are now grown up . Try to find the right way to get away from her. Find a good job. Live at a place near by your place of work. Try not to allow her to s***w your life more but do keep in touch with her(fulfil your part of duty and don't expect anything in return from her).

Best of Luck and GOD BLESS U!

Answer 2

I feel so sorry for you. hang in there til after you grad then run like h**l from that house and never act like them

Answer 3

Skittles, you are very brave in understanding your parents even if you are under that predicament. We are somehow in the same situation, however, my mom left my dad when I was 10 years old. But the pangs that my mom is giving me is excruciating that I sometimes forget what I should do and what I shouldn't do.

You are doing great! You have been patient, you hold yourself back, and you're not like others that would fight back to their parents, above all, you still love your parents and apply being a Christian so you wouldn't resent them with what they are doing.

You have this excitement of graduating from high school so you can get out of your parents' house. But that solution is a short-term one. They are still your parents and even you become a parent, you will always go back to them even if they treat you that way. You are a good hearted person so I'm pretty sure that you won't just neglect your parents.

Try to establish yourself and then try to talk to your mom and/or to your dad. You can tell them how you feel about what you and your other siblings have with the setup that they have. They might come defensive and somehow exclude the children in their ordeals, but your part of the family, and you have all the rights to find out since you too are affected with the scenario.

In the future, when you become a parent yourself, I'm quite sure that you will be a great mom to your kids. This has been your training ground and will definitely go to reach for the best for your family.

With your friends, don't worry about them. If they are indeed your friends, they will understand and would try to know you more as a person. Not just the one who will text them. They would be there to help you out with your worries too. And would give you suggestions on how you can deal with this.

Hope this helps.

And don't worry Honey, Jesus loves you. He knows what you are feeling now and will help you out with everything you need. Just call on Him.

Answer 4

Count this year as celebrating a new life also. I am a Christian and I would recommend that you get the James King version of the bible start reading it make a relationship with God the Almighty. Pray to God and ask him for salvation not only for you but for your parents and any family, ask for help to be a rigchtous person that will live to please him.      I hope that you will take my advice and may god have mercy on you