My parents said that my grade is not good enough?

Question

I try my hardest every school year. Like this year (9th grade) I got a 85% average. I told my mom, she just nodded, and my auntie said "Ohh, that's not good enough..." No one in my family went to University, so if I make it then I'll be the first one in my family to go to University.

Why do they have to make me feel like I'm stupid every school year? What should I do?

Please help :) Thanks so much !

Answer 1

I am worried about you.

85% is a terrific average! Really good, and I am concerned that even though you are proud of yourself (as you should be!) your parents aren't satisfied.

Someday this may transfer to you, and you may be so obsessed with perfection that you will not enjoy your life.

Take a step back, and realize that you are doing a great job. It is hard not to let your parents influence who you are. Try your hardest to get to know yourself and live by your own priorities.

I have many friends who were in your shoes in highschool, who know are workaholics and unhappy with their lives. Nothing they ever do is good enough for their parents, and they are missing out on a lot of things that they would have loved to do for themselves.

Remember, it is YOUR life. You have to live it for you.

Answer 2

alright, i have heard this a million times. im in college right now and my parents say this c**p all the time. none of them graduated college, but they stay on your *** because they dont want you to make the same mistakes they did in their early years. you should keep doing well in school, and whatever anyone says, once you get to college, an 85% is pretty good.

Answer 3

A "B" average is pretty d*** good to me.  I think they are setting their expecations high because they want you to be the first to go to college.  Don't take it personally.

Answer 4

that's a good grade. I'm in honors math and that's the grade i got for that class. you should be proud instead of letting them drag you down. they should be proud too that you are trying your best.

Answer 5

The only time I ever lecture my children about their grades is when I know they are not trying their hardest. For example by son struggles in Math and he got a C- and I did not make him feel bad about that but his PE grade dropped from a A to a B- and I lectured him about that because I know he is capable of doing better.

If you are trying your hardest just tell them that lowering ypur self-esteem isn't going to help get your grades up.

Answer 6

I finished high school with a C+/B- average, and I was only that high because I did well in art, chorus, and band.  I went to college.  College is easy to get into/hard to stay into in the USA - which is the opposite of everywhere else.  

Once you get into college, you have to learn self-discipline to the extreme because there's so much you can do in a college town and so many nice people to do it with, and you have to force yourself to do your homework.

I almost crashed in college freshman year, but by the end of my Junior year I was getting all A+s because I found something I was interested in.

Graduated in 4 years with a double major.  My parents were dirt poor and did not pay for college - I went to a public one and got all the financial help and loans that I could - worked parttime and shared a small apartment with another 'poor college student'.

The only thing good high school grades will get you is a scholarship, but you can get plenty of scholarships without good grades too.  At the least you could join ROTC and let the military pay for your school.

I'm sorry your parents push you so much.  That can be painful.  I never told my parents my grades and always felt bad too - but by time I was in college I didn't care.  They were just happy for me to be in college and didn't ask.

Answer 7

Say, It's better than YOU ever did. Pat yourself on the back for trying your hardest and walk away.

Answer 8

If your mother is clothing you, dressing you, and housing you, then you need to acheive what she wants.

Answer 9

Wow, my parents love when I  just pass my courses!

If I brought home a 85% they would probably have a heart attack.

You did great hun! Just get in to college and they won't be able to say ANYTHING.

xoxo

Answer 10

not all aisans r smart

85% is perfect in my parents eyes i think u have some family members like my friend sam.

she could have skipped a grade but she didn't so if she gets a b they get mad

sit down w. ur parents talk to dem bout how u don't like how they put you down

tell them how school is verrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy hard!

prove it to them tell them to go to university and try how it is w. teachers dese dayz.

hope i helped

Answer 11

85% is nothing to be ashamed of.

As long as you are doing the best you can, and as long as your mom is happy with your grades there should be no problem.  

I know this will sound a bit harsh, but your auntie should butt out! Try not to let family comments pressure you. If you can, talk to a school counselor about it.

Good Luck to you.

Answer 12

OUCH! 85% is good, and the fact that you are contemplating higher education is admirable in itself.  I have an Asian background as well, I know the pressure to do well can be overwhelming. My advice is to talk to your family, calmly about how they are making you feel. As far as your Aunt's comment, sometimes people spout out trying to ease their own insecurities and short comings. Remember it is only an opinion, and I think you are definitely on a good path, and keep your head up high, sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders!