My parents think I am sexually active at 14?

Question

So my parents let me have so much freedom and all of that. So I go to my boyfriends house a lot and we'll go to his sisters car to just like talk and then we're always up in his room or my room with the doors shut or in the woods with these kids from my neighborhood who are 8 or 9 and we helping them build a tree house. So since my parents never see us, I think they assume I am sexually active. Like they never really gave us (my brothers and I) the s*x talk because I was raised by nannies until I was 11 years old and then my parents were always away until now, so I'm not close to them at all but when on a tv show they walk in the room and they're talking about s*x, they always look at me in like a guilty way.

I can't tell them I'm not sexually active (I've only gone to 2nd base) because that is an awkward subject and again, I am not close to them since they have not been in my life until my dad was convicted a white-collar crime and we have lost a lot of money.

What do I do?

Answer 1

wait for them to bring up the subject then tell them that you're not sexually active. you can't blame then for thinking that though i know alot of girls who started having s*x when they were 14 which i do think is too young but if you haven't talked about it with your parents how do you know they think that?

Answer 2

i think you should just tell them to trust you and you arent having s*x thats what i had to do with my parents

♥anonymous

Answer 3

well you should just lay it out for them... just tell them you are not sexually active... btw what state are you in?

Answer 4

That's kind of tricky.

Maybe the next time you're watching TV and something comes up about teen s*x, you could express some sort of diapproval; say, "I think that's too young to be getting in to that," or something. Be casual about it. I don't know if that will work in your family though.

You might also want to keep your doors open so they can't think anything's going on.

Beyond that, I don't think there's anything you can do but be honest if they ask.

Answer 5

Well sense every parent thinks they are correct.... it will probably be hard. but... Show some responisiblity and just tell them how you feel. If they are still assuming that you are still doing what they think you are then say that you arent and that you understand what happens when you start and to show that you were listening when they gave the talk say i heard you guys when you were talking to me and i understand that teen pregancies are hard and shouldnt happen i know that i should wait to do that and wait till im in a long lasting relationship done with my school and have a steady job and i just want you all to remember that i do right not wrong. If you tell them that i think they will develop trust again and you should be good to go

they are only assuming that because they care for you and that they love you

Answer 6

So what if they think you're sexually active. they did'nt call you a s**t or anything. I dont think you should let it bother you. Enjoy your freedom.

Answer 7

so you are 14 years old.. and you are a top contibutor.. Hmmmm.. thats nice..

I think you are just bored, and this is a fake question.

Answer 8

maybe next time they walk in on the tv talkin about s*x stuff you should just say, i don't do that you know or something...

if it were me and my parents werent actually doing anything about it i would just leave it alone.it doesnt really matter that much because you knwo that you arent doing anything wrong so whats the problem

Answer 9

Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders.  How about writing them a letter.  I know when our oldest daughter (16) has trouble talking to us, she writes us a note.  There are awkward subjects and writing to tell your parents may be the easiest way to do it.  It will get the subject out in the open and it will be easier to talk about because of that.

BTW...they will be proud of you for taking that stand.

Answer 10

Be honest with your folks.  If you are honest with them now, they will trust you more later.

Answer 11

just wait until they ask you .. or say next time they say dont do anything.. im not readi too or somthing

Answer 12

Next time you are watching a tv show that has young kids having s*x just express your disapproval of it and that you think it is best for kids to wait. That way you don't have to stay straight out anything about your sexual activity, but they get their answer.

Answer 13

Well I know what u mean so hears what u do:

You go to them and tell them That your upset with them that they think you would be having s*x so soon and tell them that your not because your better than that. Also that your wating and want to get to know him better.

Then you walk away and they feel bad and appoligise.

i hope it works best of luck

Answer 14

What should you do?  Well regardless if your parents think you are having s*x or not here is what you definitely should do:

Stay a virgin until 21. s*x is not the priority for teenagers but education is.  Remember, teenagers are going to school to learn and not to socialize.  Of course, that will not stop them from socializing but they can still have a decent adolescence without s*x.  There are lots of young people that remain virgins until 21.  And that is very NORMAL!  By 21, you should have completed at least 75% of your post-secondary education (college, vocational training, etc).  And remember, s*x is not cheap, easy, or free.  You and your mate will pay the price for having s*x one way or another – either through unwanted pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, or emotional damages.

You should not be dating because there is a high probability that you will engage in s*x.  s*x can wait and you are not missing anything.  Who are you trying to kid?  Sleepovers and cuddling!?  That may lead to s*x.  So stop dating until 21 and your parents will not complain.  And remember, teenagers having s*x is NEVER COOL.

Answer 15

dont let it bother you. you should be grown up enough to know that you dont have s*x till your older.

Answer 16

Just ignore them

Answer 17

Write them a letter. Since you can't face them and tell them its easier in a letter.  Te3ll them what you  are thinking and feeling and that you don't feel close enough to them to say it in person.  They will be happy for the letter.  Also don't be surprised by the idea that maybe it might bring you a little closer.  Most parents  don't realize how their children really feel about subjects and would love to know.  But also as a parent I have to say be careful with your boyfriend.  You say you have been to second base but that usually leads to more.  Young people your age have hormones that are hard to control and usually end up in a sexual situation before they are ready. I'm sure your a smart girl and won't let that happen but be careful.  Write that letter.  Write everything that you would like to say and then tape it to their door.  You will see results.  Good Luck

Answer 18

They are your parents and they should know,  Talk to them,  you have been raised with nannies and now you have them.  Take the time to talk and get to know them, I'm sure is odd for everyone but give them a chance.

Answer 19

Don't say or do anything. Leave it, who cares what they think.

Answer 20

Just tell them. They'll respect the fact that you actually care what they think.

Answer 21

talk to them straight up and tell them that your really not sexually active, tell them if they want they can take you to the doctor so you can get checked. just talk to them and am sure they will believe you

Answer 22

just leave it alone

Answer 23

i think you should just ignore it plus  you say your not close to them. So why even bother tell them your sexually active if your not comfortable talking to them.

Answer 24

Really as long as your not having s*x then there is nothing to worry about.  So I wouldn't worry about it until they ask you about having s*x, Just don't do it so when then ask you can say no and not be lying.  You are way too young to have s*x anyway!  You are just a child yourself.

take care

Answer 25

Tell them you are not active.  Also try letting them know that you appreciate the concern.

Frankly, not a lot of parents do.  They'll claim it to people but behind closed doors...they really just don't care.

Answer 26

Well, there are a couple things you could do...

1) when your boyfriend comes over, don't spend so much time "behind closed doors"...i had a similar problem a few years back so my boyfriend and I would sit and talk with my parents for a little while before we went out, or to do whatever it was we were doing that night.  Its not easy, especially if you aren't close to your parents, but it might help if they see the two of you in public...rather than in your bedroom

2) if they seem really concerned that you and your boyfriend have had s*x...tell the you haven't.  You said second base, and thats not s*x, so it wouldn't be lying.  You could also back it up by telling them you "arent ready for that yet"

Hope this helps

~smile~

Mandy

Answer 27

It's hard when you have to be the responsible one in your life that young. Stay strong and don't don't do anything until you are ready.

Answer 28

just tell them

Answer 29

Just tell them that they can trust you and show them what you are doing

Answer 30

don't worry about this as long as you know your not that's all that matters. your parent's are just trying to "feel" out the situation don't assume they think this at all because if that was the case they'd question it more i would.

Answer 31

meh, just leave it.

my mom thinks i have s*x too.