My partner doesnt want a baby :(?

Question

i know am being really selfish but i cant help it..i want to get pregnant soon so there is only a couple of years between a new baby and my son ( he is 2 in september)i came from a family of 3 kids, there was 2 years between me and my sister and 7 years between me and my younger brother, which meant i wasnt into playing games when my borther wanted to, which thinking back was awful for him, any way my b/f is an only child so he doesnt understand the closeness. it isnt just that though, i really want a baby and i loved being pregnant and i love being a mummy, its the whole looking forward to whats to come, from scans to feeling it kick!!! the bad thing is that my partner doesnt want one yet because he wants to 'do the house up' first, weve bough out house and its a decent sized 2 bed house, and we both have jobs, im really broody and iv started doing his head in now as its something i really want, i also had a miscarriage 4 weeks ago, he didnt know i was pregnant

Answer 1

you could just get pregnant like you did before- but he might just leave you for it- respect his wishes- whilst at the same time talking to him about yours- don't talk to us- we can't change his mind! Good luck

Answer 2

Firstly, Do you really think it is a good idea to keep having children with a man you are not married to? There is no "forever" commitment here, so what is to keep him from walking out the door if you do trick him into this pregnancy? Secondly, you really need to think about your BF's feelings in all this. If he says "NO" you should tell him that no is not an answer in a relationship and ask him to come up with a reasonable date that the two of you could start trying for another child. If you decide to go this on your own and get pregnant anyway he will resent you for it. Another thing, your children could have great fun together even up to five years apart. I grew up in a family of five children my oldest brother is twelve years older than me and he was my protector and my babysitter. My goddaughter is nine years older than her little brother, and she taught him how to walk, talk and say his ABC's. Now she is fourteen and an excellent babysitter for little brother to give her mother a break.

Answer 3

Unfortunately you it's not right to force him to have a baby with you. You should explain to him how you feel about it. If he still declines then you should decide whether staying with him is more important to you than having another baby.

See if you can come to a compromise. 'Once the living room is done we can try for a baby'.

Answer 4

I know its deceitful, but there is never a 'good time' finacially to have a baby....the means are at your disposal.....

Answer 5

Enjoy your husband and the child that you have..stop worryin so much about having another baby when its your time to have another one it will come. everything happens for a reason. take care

Answer 6

Didn't you get RhoGam shots? One when you were preg, and one after the baby was born? That would prevent any issues affecting future pregnancies.

Not sure where you are, but in the US, it is standard procedure for any pregnant woman who is Rh negative to get a RhoGam shot during pregnancy to prevent any issues with future pregnancies, should the baby be Rh pos. In my case I had to get the shot with both my pregnancies, though both my children turned out to be Rh neg. so I never had to get the second shot after they were born. Even if you did not get the shot pre-natally, I would think at the very least, they would have given it to you after  your baby was born when they knew of the difference in blood type and the blood mixing.

If you in deed did not get the RhoGam shots, and your blood mixed, them what happend is that your body formed antibodies, and if your blood were to mix with your next child, then he/she could be born with hemolytic disease of the newborn. It is rarely fatal, but can be severe. You may want to research it. Generally, your blood does not mix with the baby's while you are pregnant, unless you experience some sort of trauma during pregnancy, or there is a placental rupture or something. It is a chance you take, the baby may be just fine and never exposed to your blood.

Answer 7

I'm probably just being bias but I agree with you,there's plenty of time to decorate your house and if you both work and have a mortgage I think why not?Especially that you's have set a date for your wedding.I say ease of a little bit and try and put some thoughts into his head that maybe it's better you's have another baby before the wedding and let him think he came up with the idea - It works with me and my husband all the time - GOOD LUCK

Answer 8

well maybve there is something that your partner is worried about... try asking him why he is so worried about having a baby and see if he confides in you if not then try seeing other ways around such as telling him about your misscarraige, you may feel really down and longing for a new born baby because you recently lost yours but this is a natural feeling... if you tell him he may understand more why you want a baby and he may deep doiwn want one to. Just try sitting him down and talking. all the best for the future and good luck.. hope this helped, all the best...

Answer 9

I know this is not the answer that you want to hear, but read over your question one more time.... Take note of how many times you use the word "I".   When planning a family, the most important consideration is not money, that much is true.  The most important consideration is the child/children.  

If you scheme your boyfriend into getting  you pregnant, will it not destroy any trust he ever has in you?  And, since he is just your boyfriend, he is obviously not ready for ANY long term committment....in my book, children are more of a committment than marriage is.  If he isn't married to you by now, will he ever be?  And especially if you trick him into something he is not ready for.  The house may be an excuse, or it may be a real reason.  He may just want to give you and the children the best possible place to live and make sure he can do this before having another baby.

You can use any reason you want to for wanting to have a baby now...but it boils down to that is what YOU want.  My brother and I were also 7 years apart and although we weren't super close as young children; we got very close later.  He would even take me on his dates if I was feeling left out and we ended up being the very closest friends two people could be.  On the other hand, I've seen people with children only two or three years apart that fight all the time and never grow close....it's not the time frame that matters; it is the children and their own personalities.  

I don't mean to be cruel, I am just speaking from my heart.  This is a selfish thing you are thinking about doing.  The children will suffer because your boyfriend will more than likely leave eventually if he has no trust in you.....you will be miserable because you drove him away and you would be a single mom bringing up two children with no dad.  

Try just being happy with what (and who) you have now.  You work, are fixing up your house, building a relationship with this man and you are being a mommy to your wonderful child.  That is more than enough to keep you busy and happy!!  Just have a heart-to-heart with your boyfriend.  As you fix up the house, ask him if making one of the rooms into a nursery could be a possibility...as well as squirreling away some $$ for a honeymoon!!!  

I hope the best for you.